To the women of interference - who got flowers today - Page 2 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 10-08-2007, 08:56 AM   #16
Jesus Online
 
Angela Harlem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 07:07 AM
He finally got taken away? God, cherin! I'm glad he didn't get violent. "Betty" needs to get out. Now, while he has gone. I hope the police got her in contact with a domestic violence worker.
And I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, cinnaminson. I wont depress you with statistics. Needless to say, your only real option to end the cycle is to get the hell out. You perpetuate it by staying, and often breed into it, as an unsurprisingly high number of victims grew up in a violent household as children.

I'd love to keep having this topic bumped up because you ladies out there 'who got flowers today', I know are reading this. I know you that know this means you, and the excuses you are making to yourselves right now. Think about this, interference. We've got imprisoned women in our midst. Remember them for a minute. I'm not asking anyone to come forward and talk about themselves. This is not the intention. Just remember, everyone. Don't ignore it.
__________________

__________________
<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/angelaharlem/thPaul_Roos28.jpg target=_blank>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...aul_Roos28.jpg</a>
Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 10-08-2007, 10:21 AM   #17
Blue Crack Addict
 
Bonogirl777's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: At Tim Horton's with Kristen and Val talking about Tan Adam and fashion disasters.
Posts: 25,702
Local Time: 03:07 PM
Aww cin!
__________________

__________________
Bonogirl777 is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 03:05 AM   #18
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 06:07 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
He finally got taken away? God, cherin! I'm glad he didn't get violent. "Betty" needs to get out. Now, while he has gone. I hope the police got her in contact with a domestic violence worker.
And I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, cinnaminson. I wont depress you with statistics. Needless to say, your only real option to end the cycle is to get the hell out. You perpetuate it by staying, and often breed into it, as an unsurprisingly high number of victims grew up in a violent household as children.

I'd love to keep having this topic bumped up because you ladies out there 'who got flowers today', I know are reading this. I know you that know this means you, and the excuses you are making to yourselves right now. Think about this, interference. We've got imprisoned women in our midst. Remember them for a minute. I'm not asking anyone to come forward and talk about themselves. This is not the intention. Just remember, everyone. Don't ignore it.
It's interesting how it has the same big pink elephant in the room that no one is willing to talk about attitude........ outside-cyber world too.

Everyone in our little street is going to take out an AVO. I know in reality an AVO does not stop a maniac, the police have already taken one out on behalf for "Betty" and her children for their safety also.

I have not seen her or the kids today, I/we will give her some space, I'll pop in on the w/end, I don't want it to be too much, too soon, the bastard is not coming home in a hurry, we still have time.

"Betty" is 10 weeks pregnant, she told us yesterday. Around 10 weeks ago was around one of many dates that i phoned in regards to allegations of Domestic Violence abuse.
__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 03:14 AM   #19
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 06:07 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by cinnaminson
^thanks. they're both doing a lot better now. There's been a lot of counselling but I don't know if I'll ever really trust him again
That's good.......you have every right to feel like you cannot trust this guy, he has broken that trust himself, it's his job to earn trust and also learn to accept he may never be able to be trusted again.
__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 03:57 AM   #20
Jesus Online
 
Angela Harlem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 07:07 AM
Is she a Maori, too? I'm asking because I'm wondering if she has her family near her. Keep us updated, if you can. I remember you told me about some fight of theirs, and the sarong business blow up, months and months ago. He's never come across as 'right', has he.
__________________
<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/angelaharlem/thPaul_Roos28.jpg target=_blank>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...aul_Roos28.jpg</a>
Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 04:37 AM   #21
Refugee
 
dazzlingamy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The city of blinding lights and amazing coffee - Melbourne.
Posts: 2,468
Local Time: 07:07 AM
I think once someone has done something violent to you high on the scale (a slap or something is forgiveable in certain circumstances) it won't ever stop.

A friend of mine's boyfriend punched her repeatedly in the head one night after she got home later then she said. She left him, but he promised he wouldn't do it again they went to councelling, he got a new less stressful job etc

A few months later i got a tearful phonecall, he had just smashed a glass in her face and kicked her in the crotch and jumped into the car. MY boyfriend and i rushed around to get her, and as we were in the house he came back with a metal pole in his hand, he tried to hit my boyfriend who took a swing at him and managed to barell him into the bathroom and then held the door while we slid a bookcase in front of it then we ran out of there.
The police arrested him, he is in gaol now - the bathroom was smashed to pieces and he had also tried to set her car on fire

men who can't control their temper and lash out with violence, don't change. ITs really easy to say they won't do it again, or lie to a counsellor. And if they don't change, the violence is not going to stop.

ITs fucking scary to leave them, not just because of the emotional scars but also as indra said, high on the cars is the fact they could be killed or followed but its better then living in a hell hole and BRINGING up children in the facking mess!


Sorry, being a teacher i have had to call children's services twice and its been the worst most heartbreaking things.
__________________
dazzlingamy is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 06:33 AM   #22
Blue Crack Addict
 
mysterious_jen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: U2 360 2010 DOWNUNDER
Posts: 15,556
Local Time: 05:37 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by cinnaminson
That poem gave me chills all over

My sister was thrown against a wall and choked by her husband several times.

Our family are very tight and she kept it to herself for a long time.

We finally found out when she had to call the police.

Her husband moved out for a few months and both have had a lot of therapy. . . . . they are still together.

"He wasn't himself at the time," and mental issues were blamed. My Dad was quite prepared to become "someone else" if given half a chance.

I was absolutely terrified for the first few weeks after we found out. Every time the phone rang I thought the worst.

When we asked where her 2 year old was when this was happening she replied, "watching from his high chair."


I never thought it would happen in my family






babe no one imagines it will happen in their family but it does and it starts out so small, so many excuses are put up but eventually i hope your sis realises what is going on and she gets out . sending a big to you and her and your nephew.


its always been this hidden and excused culture in OZ , and it goes hand in hand with alcoholism and the time honored "it isnt out business" line.

__________________
mysterious_jen is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 08:20 AM   #23
Refugee
 
fly so high!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St Andrews NSW Australia
Posts: 1,835
Local Time: 06:07 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
Is she a Maori, too? I'm asking because I'm wondering if she has her family near her. Keep us updated, if you can. I remember you told me about some fight of theirs, and the sarong business blow up, months and months ago. He's never come across as 'right', has he.
He certainly is not "right" his latest antic before being arrested has been stealing bed-linen of my clothes line, then accusing my neighbours son that he stole it all the while its hanging over his verandah......oh and also walking through my front garden right near the windows to the house and throwing lemons and limes at Candy our lab! (BTW- I should post some piccies, she is sooooo pretty, massive now, weighs close to 35kg)

"Betty" is Tongan, her husband "Knuck Fuckle" is Samoan, they met and lived in Fiji for a while before moving to Oz. Her mum is still in Tonga, her dad is dead, no family out here except for an Uncle.

"Knuck Fuckle" (I assure you i don't refer to him as that in front of "Betty" or their children) has his entire family in Oz.

No body has seen her or the children all day, the car however has not moved, I don't even know if she is home.......I wanted to knock on her door, but like i said , i will give her some space, she may have found somewhere to stay for a while to sort some stuff out or she is just lying low for a while, she is having terrible morning-sickness too, I just hope she is not staying with his family, she needs to get out of the family, he can't know where she is. She has our contact numbers, so she can call us anytime, she has not called yet.
__________________
fly so high! is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 10:57 AM   #24
Blue Crack Addict
 
iloveedge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Québec
Posts: 15,737
Local Time: 04:07 PM
Wow

Cin, I hope everything goes well

It may sound weird but, how can someone do that?
__________________
iloveedge is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 07:48 PM   #25
Rock n' Roll Doggie
ALL ACCESS
 
blueeyedgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Bottom of the earth
Posts: 6,774
Local Time: 06:37 AM
Fly so High, I am so sorry to hear that. Sounds like Knuck Fuckle may have paranoid schizophrenia or a similar psychotic illness, which is no excuse for the violent behaviour towards his family but may be some explanation for it. I used to work in the mental illness field and getting someone who doesn't believe they are ill to have treatment is unfortunately an uphill task. Good luck to you and your family and I'm sure Betty will be comforted to know that her neighbours care.
__________________
blueeyedgirl is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 11:31 PM   #26
Jesus Online
 
Angela Harlem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 07:07 AM
Samoan, that's right. I thought he was Maori when I saw him that day, and it's stuck.

I do suggest you ring her, Chez. Even knock on her door, or slide a note under it. Can you get in her backyard and knock on the back? I'm going to guess she won't call you, but would appreciate the offer. I'm also going to guess she is desperate for help but just cannot ask for it. Don't feel you are intruding on her pain, as afterall it's a crime and she's a victim. If you take the crime out of the home, suddenly your answer is right there. When it's behind doors, we get so unsure.

Ring Al, let him know you're going over there. Take her a casserole or something. Tell her you aren't leaving til you get a cup of tea and a chat. Be firm. She needs help. She has no one.


Can you get her some help from work?
__________________
<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/angelaharlem/thPaul_Roos28.jpg target=_blank>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...aul_Roos28.jpg</a>
Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 10-09-2007, 11:46 PM   #27
ONE
love, blood, life
 
indra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 12,689
Local Time: 04:07 PM
I agree with AH that you should approach Betty as I really doubt she will contact you or any other neighbours. She's most likely feeling humiliated and ashamed about the whole situation and is likely too embarrassed (as well as afraid) to approach anyone. If you make the first move that will show you care about her and understand what she is dealing with. If she knows people care about her she will be more apt to seek and accept help.
__________________
indra is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 06:27 AM   #28
Cin
Blue Crack Addict
 
Cin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in the gutter, looking at the stars. . .and smiling
Posts: 21,900
Local Time: 06:07 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by iloveedge
Wow

Cin, I hope everything goes well

It may sound weird but, how can someone do that?
I've thought the same thing.
__________________
Cin is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 04:13 PM   #29
War Child
 
ShipOfFools's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 814
Local Time: 04:07 PM
I know of someone, too. One of my best friends survived an abusive marriage. She's doing a lot better now, but I was really worried about her for a while. The creep has been arrested several times since their divorce, including for battering his (current) girlfriend.

If I had the choice, I'd throw all of them in jail and lose the key.
__________________
ShipOfFools is offline  
Old 10-10-2007, 04:50 PM   #30
Jesus Online
 
Angela Harlem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 07:07 AM
Glad your friend is doing better now, Ship.
__________________

__________________
<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/angelaharlem/thPaul_Roos28.jpg target=_blank>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...aul_Roos28.jpg</a>
Angela Harlem is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com