To Celebrate The Upcoming Release of The Simpsons Movie: Quote Away!

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Bart (daydreaming of being obese and on a talk show) "I wash myself with a rag on a stick"

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

I could go on all day :)
 
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Comic-Book Guy: "These bat-pants have been shredded by the Riddler."
Dry-cleaning attendant: "No, just your ass."
Comic-Book Guy: "That is what I call my ass."
 
Just thought of one more that I have to mention.
Lisa is helping Homer write his restaurant review; Homer drools while recollecting one of the dishes.
Lisa: "Let's see, what's the English equivalent of [impersonates Homer's drooling]? I'd say...transcendent."
 
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