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Old 02-27-2007, 05:29 PM   #16
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Ralph Wiggum: "I choo-choo-choose you!"


Marge: Homer, Bart's a vampire. Tomorrow he could be smoking!
Lisa: The only way to get Bart back is to kill the head vampire...Mr. Burns!
Homer: Kill my boss! Do I dare to live the American Dream?


Lisa: Dad, how would you feel if someone told you couldn't watch the moon landing?
(Homer does a flashback)
TV: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind
(Grandpa Simpson sniffles)
Homer: Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got a rum in my tummy and I feel like loving you!
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Old 02-27-2007, 05:52 PM   #17
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One of my favorite Simpson quotes is "I'm peddling backwards!" from Ralph.

"A noble spirit embiggins the smallest man" also has a spot in my heart, we actually posted that on the front page of my college newspaper in the notable quotes section.
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Old 02-27-2007, 06:39 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by dsmith2904
One of my favorite Simpson quotes is "I'm peddling backwards!" from Ralph.

Oops...nevermind.
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Old 02-27-2007, 06:39 PM   #19
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Ralphie: "Me fail English?! That unpossible!"

Bart & Lisa: "Meh. M-E-H. Meh. "

Homer: "I am so smart! S-M-R-T!"

I wish I could think of more!
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Old 02-27-2007, 06:40 PM   #20
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Most of my favorite quotes are from Ralph.

"My cat's breath smells like cat food" from the episode where Lisa and the new girl were competing with each other to see who was the smartest. And "It tastes like burn!". I don't remember where that one is from.

I can't remember most of them exactly or the episodes they were in, but still, Ralph has got to be my favorite character on the show.
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Old 02-27-2007, 06:45 PM   #21
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Ralph: [giving report] ... and when the Doctor told me I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life.
Miss Hover: Thank you, Ralph, very graphic.



Quote:
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And "It tastes like burn!". I don't remember where that one is from.
thats the episode where the kids are stuck on a island
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Old 02-27-2007, 06:47 PM   #22
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Ralph: Can you open my milk carton for me mommy?
Ms Hover: Ralph, I am not mommy
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Old 02-28-2007, 02:11 AM   #23
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Homer: "Have it your way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm... going outside. To... stalk... Lenny and Carl. D'oh!"

Homer: "I'd give anything to get into the Stonecutters."
Lisa: "What do they do there, Dad?"
Homer: "What do they do? What don't they do? Oh, they do so many things they never stop. Oh, the things they do there, my stars."
Lisa: "You don't know what they do there, do you?"
Homer: "Not so much, no."

Number One: "You have joined the Sacred Order of the Stonecutters who, since ancient times, have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!"
Everyone: "Yay!"


This episode was on tonight.
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Old 02-28-2007, 03:49 AM   #24
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When Homer gets kicked out of Moe's for practical jokes:

Flight Guy: "I need an emergency pilot to fly tonight!" [Everyone stands up] "Conditions are a little windy..." [Slowly the pilots sit down, except Homer] "You! Are you ready to fly? Or are you just posing as a pilot to drink here?"
Homer: [Despondent] "Yeah. That's exactly why I'm here."
Flight guy: "Ha! You fly boys crack me up!" [Pushes him into a plane]
Homer: "But I keep telling you I'm not a pilot!"
Fly guy: "And I keep telling you you fly boys crack me up!"

And to kick off prank calls to Moe:
Moe: [Been told by Bart, poses a question to bar flys] "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells aaaand I like to kiss my own butt."

Bart: "Uh, I'm looking for a man by the name of Jass, Hugh Jass?"
Moe: "Yeah, hold on a sec. Hugh Jass? Is there a Hugh Jass in the house?" [Bart laughs]
Man: "I'm Hugh Jass."
Moe: "Here, phone."
Man: "Hello?"
Bart: "Uh, sir, I'm gonna come clean with you, this was a prank call that kinda went all wrong, and I'd like to bail out."
Man: "Well okay Bart, better luck next time." [Hangs up] "Hmm, nice boy."



Can't wait for this movie.
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Old 02-28-2007, 01:22 PM   #25
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Homer's arms are stuck in vending machine

Emergency guy: Homer, we're going to have to saw off your arms.
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Emergency guy: Uh, yeah, sure.
Homer: Whew.
Emergency guy No. 2: Uh, Homer, are you just holding on to the candy?
Homer: your point being?
Next scene: Homer walks away embarrassed amid the sound of hilarious laughter from emergency guys.
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Old 02-28-2007, 01:24 PM   #26
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Lisa and Bart at the Holapolozza rock fest

Bart: What's that smell?
Lisa: Smells like Otto's jacket.
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Old 02-28-2007, 01:46 PM   #27
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''I broke my wookie''
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Old 02-28-2007, 02:04 PM   #28
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"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."
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Old 02-28-2007, 11:53 PM   #29
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When they are playing that game at the beach, the ep when Lisa gets friends:

Marge: Ooh come on Homey, let's see who your mystery date is![Homer opens little door]
Homer: Ohhhrrr....
Marge: Ha! You got the dud!
Homer: [to Milhouse]: Hey! He looks just like you poindexter!

Martin: "Go apple!"
Nelson: "Go orange!"
Ralph: "Go banana!"

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Old 03-08-2007, 03:59 PM   #30
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Marge: Lisa, normally, I would say that you should stand up for what you believe in, but you've been doing that an awful lot lately...
Bart: Yeah, you made us march in that gay rights parade.
Homer: And we cant watch Fox because they own those chemical weapons plants in Syria.


***

Homer Simpson: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa Simpson: That’s specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn’t work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It’s just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don’t see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

***

Bart: [on walkie talkie] Milhouse! What's seven in roman numerals?
Milhouse: I'll tell you, Bart, but you really should end each transmission with the word "over". Over!
Shelbyville Milhouse: [snatching Milhouse's walkie talkie] Correction: the only thing that's over is this transmission.
Milhouse: Is this the untimely end of Milhouse?
Shelbyville Milhouse: [pause] But Milhouse is my name!
Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one!
Shelbyville Milhouse: [shakes head] A pain I know all too well.
Milhouse: So this is what it feels like when doves cry.
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