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Old 03-09-2003, 09:29 PM   #1
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The Ultimate "Simpsons" Quote Thread

"To Alcohol! The cause and solution to-all of life's problems."

"D'oh!"

"Somebody quick, do CPR!"
"I see a bad moon rising..."

"Hello Moe's Tavern."
"Is Mr. Freely there?"
"Who?"
"Freely. First initials I.P."
"Hold on, I'll check (calls out) is I.P. Freely here? I.P. Freely?"

"The following is a public service announcement. Excessive alcohol can cause liver damage and cancer of the rectum."
"Mmm... Beer."

"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."



Any more?
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Old 03-09-2003, 09:44 PM   #2
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Old 03-09-2003, 09:52 PM   #3
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"I am so great, I am so great, everybody loves me, I am so great!"

"Simpson...Homer Simpson...He's the greatest guy in history...From the town of Springfield...He's about to hit a chestnut tree!"
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:02 PM   #4
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(headache's going to love this thread)


"badger my ass"
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:09 PM   #5
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"Oh Margie, you came and you found me a turkey, on my vacation away from workey"

" 'Dear Homer. I owe you one brain. Signed: God.' DOH!"

"I ch-ch-choose you!"

"Nobody ever suspects the butterfly"
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:19 PM   #6
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"Ha-HA!"

"Eeex-cellent"

"And remember when I let that escpaed convict into the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? Well, that's nothing 'cause you have a gambling problem!"

"Hi, everrrry-body!"

"Can you open my milk carton for me, Mommy?"
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:46 PM   #7
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"This tastes like grandma."
"When I grow up I'm going to be a principal, or a caterpillar!"
Ralph are you eating paste again?
“The only thing I’m high on is love. Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need.”

“Now my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say ‘dickety’ cause the Kaiser had stolen our word ‘twenty’. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles.”

"I'm an old man. I hate everything but 'Matlock'. Oooh! It's on now."

"Dear Mr. President,
There are too many states nowadays.
Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot."

“I’ve figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of travelling acrobats.”
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:47 PM   #8
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"... I thought I'd wallow in my own crapulence" -Mr.Burns

"...it begins..." (Barney's transformation back to a drunk)

"... the mans talking about waste management... that affects the whole damn planet..."(Bono)

"... that dumb, fat, and bald guy sure plays some mean hardball" (Moe)

"WAAAAAAAAAa"(anytime Moe meets a girl)
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:48 PM   #9
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"when I grow up I'm going to Bovine University"- Ralph
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:49 PM   #10
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"GREASE ME UP WOMAN!!!"
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:52 PM   #11
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"Powell makes a Pow Pow Powerful car"

"My name... Max Power"

"geez were two twelve year old boys in Toronto... we should be having the time of our lives"

"that's right, she's with the House now"(milhouse)
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Old 03-09-2003, 10:55 PM   #12
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whatcha... eeeeoooohhhooo- Side Show Bob...

"damn those rakes... my arch-nemesis"
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Old 03-09-2003, 11:00 PM   #13
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"right, lisa...a magical meat animal..."
"maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatlooooooooooooooock"
"hey swiss miss, there's no missing you!"
"if i hadn't already packed my scissors, i'd give you such a stabbing..."
"is this mad magazine??" "no, it's madamoiselle. we're buying the sign on an installment plan..."

simpsons
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Old 03-09-2003, 11:04 PM   #14
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"ahhhh... a Grammy"
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Old 03-09-2003, 11:07 PM   #15
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save the queen!
which one's the queen?
i'm the queen!
no you're not!
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