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Old 04-04-2003, 11:51 AM   #136
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-shut up brain or i'll stab you with a q-tip

-Lisa if the bible hasn't taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it says that girls should stick to girls sports such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such

-effigy eh? nothing burns quite like an effigy
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Old 04-04-2003, 11:54 AM   #137
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Quote:
Originally posted by Headache in a Suitcase
never forget... rip
That's a great episode.
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Old 04-05-2003, 02:09 AM   #138
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I'm a fifth level vegan... I can't eat anything with a shadow...
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Old 04-05-2003, 07:51 PM   #139
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Itchy and Scratchy intro after Marge's Anti Violence Campaign:

They love! They share!
They share and love and share!
Love, love, love!
Share, share, share!
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
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Old 04-06-2003, 01:32 AM   #140
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won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?
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Old 04-06-2003, 09:43 AM   #141
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Marge: Homer kept saying he could do a more realistic family show. Finally I said, "So do it. Either shit or get off the pot."

Marge: Okay, the material was a little corny, but Homer and I had real chemistry onscreen.
Homer: Every day I thought about firing Marge ... you know, just to shake things up.

Marge: We were using fifty dollar bills as toilet paper, and toilet paper as dog toilet paper.

Homer: Why did I take much punishment? Let's just say that fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug was the drugs.



Marge: Homer, we need to talk to a financial planner.
Homer: Financial panther, eh?
[imagines himself standing in a bank lobby with an
officious banker]
Banker: Mr. Simpson, you're a dollar overdrawn.
Homer: Get him, Sheba!


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Old 04-06-2003, 10:07 AM   #142
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this one reminds me of cujo
Eddie: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! [buzz] All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding]
Eddie: Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz] _A_ date. [buzz] Dinner with friends. [buzz] Dinner alone. [buzz] Watching TV alone. [buzz] All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz] Sears catalog. [ding] Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! [buzz]

ok it reminds me of me


Homer: Look kids! I just got my party invitiations back from the printers.
Lisa: "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."
Bart: What's that extra B for?
Homer: It's a typo.

Lisa: Uhh, excuse me? Isn't there anything here that doesn't have meat in it?
Doris: Possibly the meat loaf.

Judge: Before I can return your children, you'll have to complete a course called "Family Skills". It teaches parents to listen to their —
Homer: Communication, gotcha.
Judge: But it's important to —
Homer: Listen, yes, I know.
Judge: But there's more to it than —
Homer: I have listening skills!
Judge: Mr. Simpson, would you please —
Homer: Shut up, Judge!

Homer : "Kids, Kids! I'm not gonna die! That only happens to bad people!"
Bart : "What about Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer : "Err...He sold poisoned milk to school children!"

Yeah, Moe, that team sucked last night. Now I've seen a team suck, but they just plain sucked, they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Gotta go Moe, my damn weiner kids are listening.

Chief Wiggum: Sorry, you have the wrong number. This is 9-1-2

Sideshow Bob: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you. I deride your truth-handling abilities.

Homer: I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am

Lenny: Ow, my eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!

Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of False Advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story

Grandpa: Dear Mr. President,
There are too many states nowadays.
Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot

Flanders: I think we hit something!
Homer: I hope it's Flanders!

Carl: "Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island."
Lenny: "Yeah, to capture a giant ape."
Carl: "I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island."
Charlie: "Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?"
Carl: "Apes. But they're not so big."

Homer: I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming

Mr. Burns:"I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Wayland"
Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I believe your husband is DOA....
Marge: HE'S DEAD?!!
Chief Wiggum: Oh, no, that's DWI. I always get these police terms mixed up.
Women in Police Station: Hi, you said my husband was DWI....

Homer: We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?
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Old 04-06-2003, 10:24 AM   #143
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save me jebus!!!
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Old 04-06-2003, 10:50 AM   #144
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*Homer in surgery for injury at YMCA*
Lisa: So many times we've seen Dad go under the knife...
Marge: One more and I get a free hysterectomy!

Homer: Maybe a little morphine would help me remember faster....
Dr. Hibbert: Heeheehee, always with the morphine....*stick*

*The Party Posse episode*

Ralph: I want to twirl!
Ralph: I can't read!
Homer: YVAN EHT NOIJ!
Joey Fatone from N*Sync: That's wack like old school!
Justin (lol): I can't believe I'm talking to MILHOUSE!
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Old 04-09-2003, 07:28 PM   #145
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Justin: Werrrrrd



I've never been the praying kind, but if you can hear me up there, save me Superman!
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Old 04-09-2003, 08:53 PM   #146
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what's your name?
*insert long un-pronouncable name here*
i'll call you lisa junior...
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Old 04-09-2003, 11:02 PM   #147
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Oovilu-Eeoo-Kitana-Wanjay.

Not that I know.


Elmo knows where you live.
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Old 04-10-2003, 12:05 AM   #148
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nobody snuggles with max power, you strap yourself in and feel the g's!
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Old 04-10-2003, 01:19 AM   #149
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Homer: Lisa! Never EVER stop in the middle of a hoe down!!!!



Lisa: That'll learn him to bust my tomater.
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Old 04-10-2003, 04:13 PM   #150
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lenny: hey...isn't plutonium dangerous?...i guess you're right. it's not.
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