THE TEMPLE BAR: We're entitled to Carpel Tunnel - UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!!

[Lila64]

got this in an email:

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

 

[Reggie Thee Dog]

Good point.

I've got a picture of real boobs....

You know what I mean VP?

 

[Thora]

I've seen that one before, Lila. Good stuff!

 

[VintagePunk]

I've got a picture of real boobs....

You know what I mean VP?

I have no idea what you're talking about, Reg.


Nice one, Lila

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

i hate the whole "give 110%" thing

it's impossible. you can't do something that you can't do. thus if you do something that you've never done before, that's the new 100%, and failing to reach that level is not reaching 100% anymore.

i'm done now...

 

[UberBeaver]

i hate the whole "give 110%" thing

it's impossible. you can't do something that you can't do. thus if you do something that you've never done before, that's the new 100%, and failing to reach that level is not reaching 100% anymore.

i'm done now...

I don't know what you said, but you gave it your all. That's all we can ask.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

:chestbump:

 

[Reggie Thee Dog]

I don't know what you said, but you gave it your all. That's all we can ask.

He gave 110% in that

Sweet!!! Go Headache!!!

 

[redkat]

I can't take my eyes off the mickeys took me too long to realize they're real

 

[bono_212]

Here's some boobies now finish the story

 

[Reggie Thee Dog]

Here's some boobies now finish the story

Ashley!!

 

[bono_212]

your welcome Reg

 

[redkat]

Here's some boobies now finish the story

OMG they're so cute

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

are they really called boobies? that's awesome

 

[UberBeaver]

Here's some boobies now finish the story

THANK YOU! Was that too much to ask for?

 

[bono_212]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Booby

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

dude, i am so getting a pair of blue footed boobies

 

[bono_212]

According to the wikipedia article they're quite tame on land, maybe it's possible

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

where would one go about purchasing a blue footed booby

 

[bono_212]

The best I could find for you is adoption Headache:

http://worldwildlife.org/news/displayPR.cfm?prID=328

All adoptions come with a formal adoption certificate, a color photo of the adopted animal and a species description card. In addition to these items, adoptions of $50 or more come with a soft animal plush representative of the species adopted and adoptions of $100 or more come in a WWF panda logo gift box with a custom frame to display the adoption certificate and photo.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

awesome.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

 

[snowbunny00774]

BFB

and no fan fiction still? you've gotten lots of boobies, now you're being greedy.

 

[bono_212]

Maybe he needs a picture of the rare red footed booby instead

 

[Lila64]

 

[Thora]

I see boobys but no fan fiction. I am cry.

 

[UberBeaver]

LMPA and Reg see several hostile smileys climbing up towards them. Reg again grabs LMPA, she slaps him, and he says, "We gotta go. Grab my vine."

"Ugh, no. God no."

"No, I mean it. Grab my vine. We have to swing on out."

"NO, I said. I'm not swining, especially not with you."

"If we don't go soon, they're going to come up here."

"You're sick. Get off of me."

"For once I am not trying to speak in double meanings, I am trying to tell you that of you don't hold on to my vine as tight as you can, and swing with me, the smilies are going to all come together, and screw us both. That's all I'm trying to say."

"You're a pig." She grabs Reg's vine, to which he says, "Not the vine I meant, but I'll take it," and he leaps off the little cliff and swings to the other side of the cave, nice and slow like. He suggests they do it again and gets slapped.

Flybabe flys into the cave, goes to VG who tells her to get the others. Flybabe flys out of the cave.

The evil smiley's now hold Lila over the Edge of the cavern of Doom. Their King calls down to VG, "No longer shall this one enslave our people. We have come too far to be subjected to simple filler on web sites around the Internets. lol, 'internets'. Still funny. Anyway, you call off your people, this day is ours. We will let you all go with your lives. I make this offer once."

VG counters, "And I make this offer only once, King of the Smilies. You give Lila back her face, send her down here, and I don't fuck your shit up like a looter in a riot. How you like, bitch? You like that? Shut the fuck up, monkey boy."

Redkat, having just arrive at the cave mouth hears VG and says, "Oh my." Snow, who was not listening to VG but was looking at Lila's face, slaps Kat. Headache, carrying Zoots on his shoulders, chants "KING SMILEY SUCKS, KING SMILEY SUCKS!"

A slap is heard and Reg says, "That's not what I meant."

The King of the Smilies is not amused and he turns into and leaps down in front of VG. "You dare come into my house and speak to me like that? You will pay." VG begins to laugh but finds that she is suddenly transformed into The gang gasps.

VP enters the cave with BRI, 78 and the All Stars. She tells Thora to bring Maddy outside, then instructs NSW to make sure RB is ready. VP explains to RB "there's 8 seconds left, we're down by one. We're pulling the goalie." NSW puts something on the ground and tells RB to think "Penalty Shot." RB takes a breath and gets ready. VP sends Bri to distract the King of the Smileys and Bri leaps onto his head and slaps him silly. Still in form, he cannot counter quickly and ends up tumbling a few times.

VP points to NSW, he blows his whistle, RB skates toward the object NSW put on the ground, VP yells, "Kathie - heads up!" Redkat looks, sees RB wind up the shot and sees a can of Guinness fly directly at her head. She spins quick, grabs a frosted pint glass from Headache's cooler, swings her arm to open the flying can top, and fills the glass. She gazes at King of Smileys, holds the glass and says, "You heard of Donkey Kong? Yeah, well......good...cause, it's...going down." Brows raise around the room and Snow wipes her forehead, "It's on like Donkey Kong, Kat."

Redkat shrugs, drinks the guinness and turns into

The King of the Smiley's begins to panic.

stares at him, then makes her move.

Reg gets slapped again.

 

[Lila64]

^

You might need this

 

[bono_212]

I just keep imagining the flying guiness glass fill all slow and Matrix-y and it makes me lol out loud

 

[Lila64]