THE TEMPLE BAR: Timmy T's Fan Fiction...UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!!

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:wink:
 
UberBeaver said:
The gang begins the long trek to The Caves. From the parking lot they load up into the cars and head south, towards the rain forests of South America. Red Kat travels in a trunk due to her fair skin, and Snow crawls in next to her just to be annoying. Reg sets up the live web feed and gets a better part in this tale because of it. (ED - :hi5: )

Down through Mexico, Honduras, Costa Rica they go. In Colombia a misunderstanding leads to Snow being traded and sold on the streets of Barranquilla. When the locals discover she cannot be snorted, and Headache refuses to part with the bola and bottle of Aquadiente he got in exchange for her, Tre is able to free her by playing the Gipsy King version of Hotel California while Redkat uses teh distraction to free Snow. Snow, however, having decided she really enjoyed Aguadiente decides she really doesn't want to leave and tells Kat "to sit have a drink, sit a have a drink, COME ON AND SIT AND HAVE ONE DRINK - JUST ONE DRINK with me...why won't you drink with me....are you mad at me? I'm sorry...you're a good superhero, and I MEAN THAT! You're a good superhero....am I on a Donkey?" Reg looks up at her, and says, "Yes, a Donkey. That's what you're riding." "Oh good, I like donkeys," to which Reg replies, "And Donkey's like you, believe me." Snow slaps the donkey to make it go faster and then falls asleep. This does not phase Reg.

Just as everyone is loaded in the cars and ready to continue the quest, 78 notices that Tre is missing. VP and Bri are sent with NSW to find out where he could be. As they approach the town they hear a wild party and some loud, abrasive guitar. The guitar stop and a famliair voice says in a foreign tongue, "Metal arriba su fucking culo!" At this NSW shakes his head and VP and Bri make their move. "Este es un cancion para su fucking madre!" calls out Tre before launching into "Wonderwall". Bri grabs Tre and drags him from the stage while VP sets off a smoke bomb in front of the stage. NSW leads the way back to the cars where Snow is found half in the trunk discussing her hatred for donkeys.

With everyone back together, they continue the voyage south.
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Beav, thanks for the laughs this story has been providing me with. Today's been a shitty day all around, but this has been a great sporadic distraction, no joke. Great stuff, and, the trading/sale of Snow, for whatever reason, made me laugh the most.
 
It's been nearly 2 hours since the last installment. What? Is Beav too busy with his "family" to give us another fix? :rolleyes:

I think the decent - nay, the ONLY - thing for them to do is to realize that he's needed here as our primary source of entertainment, and step aside for the time being, so that he can continue his saga. :up:


:shifty:
 
redkat said:
:lmao:

I love drunk snow :heart:

did we vote on going south of the border cuz i'm pretty sure bad things will happen there :scared:
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Ok I missed an installment. We're south to save Lila from the smilies :up:

damn right i'm reading the map Lila, you best be praying right now:macdevil:
 
The next morning finds Tre still pissed off at VP and BRI - "They were fucking loving me! Why did you take me from my fans? WTF? Fucking bullshit, man. Bullshit." Bri turns and leans over the seat and slaps Tre in the face.

Coming from behind the seat behind Tre another voice is heard saying"I was having a good time too. Let's see, Free Drinks or Truck with girl that keeps elbowing me in the head? Gee, let me think on that."

VP hits the brakes, flags down Headache's car and makes him get out and open the trunk. Reg quickly tries to hide the catcher's mit and sheepishly asks, "Are we there already?" She then pops her trunk and grabs snow and kat by the hair and puts them in Headache's trunk. Reg, having just got out of headache's trunk desperately tries to get back in. VP flags down the Zoot mobile. RB gets out of the front seat, pulls it up and as Reg tries to get in the back seat, hip checks him. Thora drops her gloves and reaches over Reg in an attempt to hit RB. Reg rejoices that he is in the middle.

Headache gets back in his car. From the trunk we hear "You fucking GAVE ME AWAY, Kathie!" "No, we didn't. It was a misunderstanding. Headache just wanted a bola thingy. And they heard your name was Snow, so they thought...well, it was just a misunderstanding." '78 rubs her face in desperation as LMPA mutters, "For the love of Christ. How much farther to these caves?"

Headache looks at the map and says, "I dunno, 12 hours. Dorito?"

"Cool Ranch?" asks '78.

"No. What the fuck with the Cool Ranch? They're old and busted. Guacamole is where it's at now."

NSW consults with Zoots and Headache then gets into the car and sits next to Tre. "NSW - You heard, right? When I launched into Wonderwall, right? Tell me they didnt go nuts."

"Oh no, they completely lost their shit. It was awesome."

"See?" Tre is pelted by a chestnut from the front seat.

NSW says, "Thora just had a vision. We're going to be meeting a guide very soon. We should keep our eyes open."

VP looks doubtful. "A vision? Statistically speaking, visions are correct .27% of the time."

NSW responds, "Never tell me the odds."

And with that the merry band continues south. They approach the Colombia / Brazil border.
 
UberBeaver said:
The next morning finds Tre still pissed off at VP and BRI - "They were fucking loving me! Why did you take me from my fans? WTF? Fucking bullshit, man. Bullshit." Bri turns and leans over the seat and slaps Tre in the face.

Coming from behind the seat behind Tre another voice is heard saying"I was having a good time too. Let's see, Free Drinks or Truck with girl that keeps elbowing me in the head? Gee, let me think on that."

VP hits the brakes, flags down Headache's car and makes him get out and open the trunk. Reg quickly tries to hide the catcher's mit and sheepishly asks, "Are we there already?" She then pops her trunk and grabs snow and kat by the hair and puts them in Headache's trunk. Reg, having just got out of headache's trunk desperately tries to get back in. VP flags down the Zoot mobile. RB gets out of the front seat, pulls it up and as Reg tries to get in the back seat, hip checks him. Thora drops her gloves and reaches over Reg in an attempt to hit RB. Reg rejoices that he is in the middle.

Headache gets back in his car. From the trunk we hear "You fucking GAVE ME AWAY, Kathie!" "No, we didn't. It was a misunderstanding. Headache just wanted a bola thingy. And they heard your name was Snow, so they thought...well, it was just a misunderstanding." '78 rubs her face in desperation as LMPA mutters, "For the love of Christ. How much farther to these caves?"

Headache looks at the map and says, "I dunno, 12 hours. Dorito?"

"Cool Ranch?" asks '78.

"No. What the fuck with the Cool Ranch? They're old and busted. Guacamole is where it's at now."

NSW consults with Zoots and Headache then gets into the car and sits next to Tre. "NSW - You heard, right? When I launched into Wonderwall, right? Tell me they didnt go nuts."

"Oh no, they completely lost their shit. It was awesome."

"See?" Tre is pelted by a chestnut from the front seat.

NSW says, "Thora just had a vision. We're going to be meeting a guide very soon. We should keep our eyes open."

VP looks doubtful. "A vision? Statistically speaking, visions are correct .27% of the time."

NSW responds, "Never tell me the odds."

And with that the merry band continues south. They approach the Colombia / Brazil border.
Click to expand...

I see shortlisted for the Man Booker (intnl) in your future...sucks it may only be .27% accurate :(
 
snowbunny00774 said:


I see shortlisted for the Man Booker (intnl) in your future...sucks it may only be .27% accurate :(
Click to expand...

:lol:


Beav :bow: I see you finally got those pesky ppl you live with to leave you alone for a while so you can fulfill your purpose and create. :drool:
 
VintagePunk said:


:lol:


Beav :bow: I see you finally got those pesky ppl you live with to leave you alone for a while so you can fulfill your purpose and create. :drool:
Click to expand...

They're both sleeping. For now. I figure one will wake up crying any minute though. :D

What does Snow's comment mean? I don't follow.
 
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