The Temple Bar: Baby Jebus would never say UYFA :shame:

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David Alan Grier is probably the funniest standup I've seen live.

I wish I was funny so I could tell you his jokes.

The opening comic nailed OC housewives. Equating their boob jobs with putting nice expensive spinners on an 84 Ford Escort :lmao:
 
No I didn't really go away.

Snow
he's had one sit-com called DAG :down: Another one starting this fall. He was a regular on In Living Color. SNL a few times. Of course uncensored stand up is the best :up: His set was nearly 2 hours.
 
David Allan Greir was on Living Color. And he's sort of all over the place. He hosts "Thank God Your Here" now, which from what I've seen is awful.

All the hotels are booked. 5 nights in EDI, 3 nights in Inverness and 2 in Glasgow.
 
David Alan Grier is in one of my all-time favorite SNL skits. The parody of the Today show, where the teleprompter goes dead, and none of the hosts can function without it...things devolve until they are like cavemen, and Will Ferrel and Grier fight for supremacy, and Ferrell ends up hoisting a plastic version of Grier's head, yelling "The weatherman is dead!". It's funnier if you see it.
 
I've never watched ILC, although I think I've seen a skit from it where someone is uptight? I'm prob making that up. I'll have to check on youtube...although I hate looking on there as I get distracted easily.


That sounds like the right mix Beav from how P has described it...although she'd prob say 1 night in glas is enough!



yeah - saw that goal...not sure who I want to win actually
 
I remember that ones. Not on youtube though :(

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open on the main set of "Wake Up and Smile!" ]

Oliver: It's the 20th anniversary of "Wake Up and Smile!"

Diane: 20 wonderful years! And 20 years of this man giving us the weather. Tim Baker, how's it looking out there?

[ cut to the weatherman on the side of the set ]

Tim Baker: Heighty-ho! Well, we've got some mean storm clouds in the northeast, and a happy sun in the southeast! Back to you!

[ cut back to Oliver and Diane ]

Diane: Thank you, Tim Baker. We're looking forward to another 20 years.

Oliver: It has definitely been a fun ride! Now, I understand you've got some cooking tips for us, Diane. I understand you've got some cooking tips for us, Diane. I understand you've got some cooking tips for us, Diane..

[ a stagehand taps on the teleprompter, which keeps spitting out the same phrase Oliver keeps repeating ]

Diane: [ panicking ] Um.. ih.. it looks like we're having sme problems with the prompter here!..

[ Oliver and Diane are silent with stage fright ]

Oliver: [ fumbling for something to say ] The teleprompter on which everything we say appears on.. is broken..

Diane: [ trying to laugh ] Please! Let's get that teleprompter fixed!

Oliver: Uh.. we're having what's known in the business as.. technical times.. right now..

Diane: Uh.. well.. let's go to.. Tom.. Bulcher.. with the weather..

[ cut to the weatherman on the side of the set, stunned by the broken teleprompter ]

Tim Baker: Blank screen.. no words on it.. got to think.. must think.. [ pause ] Back to you..

[ cut back to Oliver and Diane, who are forced to "make something up" ]

Oliver: Uh.. you know, Diane, I had a notion the other day..

Diane: Uh.. well.. uh.. notions make.. uh.. this country happen..

Oliver: I.. I.. I was thinking someone should get a group together.. uh.. with guns to sweep out those ghettos..

[ the show cuts to quick commercial, then comes right back to its frightened hosts ]

Diane: I.. drive a red car..

Oliver: Make sure those poor people stay away from it.. they've got sores..

Diane: Let's.. uh.. let's go for weather with.. Jeff Shaker..

[ cut back to the weatherman, who's still stunned by the broken teleprompter ]

Tim Baker: Rain.. clouds.. fear.. I must control the fear.. Please, someone tell me what to say.. I'm dying!

[ cut back to Oliver and Diane, still struggling themselves ]

Oliver: [ breathing heavily ] Getting cold.. feel so alone..

Diane: I'm afraid.. I'm afraid.. I'm afraid!

Oliver:

Diane: What are we gonna do?! There's no words!

Oliver: [ taking control ] We must use the furniture to build a barricade! [ jumps up and pulls his chair to the floor ]

Tim Baker: [ panicking ] If we wait, surely they will send help, and make the words so we can be safe..

Oliver: [ loosening his tie ] We can't wait! If we wait, we die! I'm the dominant one, here, so I'll be the leader!

Diane: [ on the verge of tears ] I'm so hungry..

Oliver: We will live! We will live! [ lets out a dominant scream, as the show goes to commercial again. When the show returns from the commercial, the set is on fire, Oliver has painted a hand on his chest and started his own dominion. ]

Oliver: [ screaming ] The Order of the Hand will rule! The animals of the Zoo guy, Danny Usher, will sustain us. [ places a turtle over the chair ]

Tim Baker: But what if the box still refuses to give us any words?!

Oliver: You challenge my authority?!

Tim Baker: [ sniffing Oliver ] I smell from your scent that you are weak! I challenge you!

[ Oliver and Tim charge one another and topple to the floor fighting for authority. Within seconds, Oliver resurfaces with Tim's severed head ]

Oliver: The weatherman is DEAD! I KILLED the weatherman! His STRENGTH is in me! [ starts to chew on the weatherman's severed head ]

Diane: [ crying ] Make the words come back.. Make the words come back..

Offstage Voice: Prompter's fixed!

[ suddenly, everything returns to normal ]

Diane: [ shocked ] Fixed?! [ reading off the teleprompter ] That's right, Oliver. I'll show you how to make a cassrole for the holidays. Stay tuned. Because we're celebrating 20 magical years of "Wake up and Smile!"

[ Oliver and Diane cry as the show cuts to one last commercial, aghast at how poorly they handled a time of crisis ] ]
 
Yeah, if it were just the wife and I we'd probably hit a city a day or something, but with the kid we want to stay put for a bit. I've heard GLA is boring, but it looks nice. The hotel we're in is real nice, so if nothing else, pool and hot tub. :drool:
 
52 to go people, let's do this shit.

Wilco = So awesome.

I could spend three dollars and sixty-three cents
On Diet Coca-Cola and unlit cigarettes

I wonder why we listen to poets
When nobody gives a fuck

All my lies are always wishes
I know I would die if I could come back new :(


Ottawa. :sad:
 
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