the tale of a bad dog

[Flag Pole Pear]

hi, i wrote this.

Dear Diary, in my reflective moments I often like to scratch out a few lines of poetry on a table napkin. It helps me to verbalise my inner musings on all manner of things.

Allow me to share with you one of my recent compositions, Dear Diary.

The Ballad of a Bad Dog

Dear sir I am a peaceful man
but tempt me and I will take a stand
I love nothing like my faithful hound
Silence yours or I'll put you in the ground

If I hear a yelping and barking
you'd best believe I'm not larking
I'm not relaxing over a coffee
I'm frowning and minded to torch ye

Well your dog it squealed and howled
it moaned day in and week out
What the fuck was I supposed to do
set the city council onto you?

One day that dog would not abate
I was brimming with rage and hate
So I napalmed your fucking yard
and I laughed screaming long and hard

Shiny happy in the neighbourhood
mind your dog or feel my wood
Quell that beast that irks me so
Cease its bleat or feel my blow

For your consideration Mr Blaxland
Unless you control your daschund
Can I proclaim in all frankness
Killing you will be my redress

Your dog has caused me distres (sic)
Out there in the yard next door
Underneath the clothesline.

THE END.

Yours etc.

Me.

 

[Calluna]

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

yes i did calluna.

edit your post immediately!

 

[Sicy]

 

[Calluna]

Why?

 

[ghetofabu]

Did you write something similar to this in the past?

 

[Sicy]

No but someone else did.

 

[Ana]

*

*changed for wrong smilie

 

[ghetofabu]

Color me stupid. I don't get it. I get the writing. I just don't get everything after that. Who wrote it?

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

good old kieran mcdonaldville.

im obsessed with his stupid journal. i dont know why. its uberly lame but i cant get enough of it. this is just one of the many stupid things that he has written.

*pulls out hair

in fact, today i started emailing my friends in my area, his diary and i will do so daily.

why? i have no idea.

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

thanks anyway calluna...

 

[ghetofabu]

why? i have no idea.

Nor I

 

[Calluna]

That's quite alright, bear. I can sympathize. I too am obsessed with his 'retarded' journal.

 

[Sicy]

* does her usual rating of bear's threads one star

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

oh and for those who are keeping score at home...

danabird said and i quote "Thank you very much for that wonderful poem! I enjoyed it~ "

some of the other people who have replied have said "what was that all about? please dont send more" and "that was really creepy, please stop emailing me."

 

[Stories for Boys]

you are an odd cookie, you know that?

* does her usual rating of bear's threads one star

*does her usual of backing quickly away from bear's threads

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

this is ofcourse, my own way honouring our very own kieran mcdonaldville...i hope you all know that...

my parents are gone, i think im going to give everyone a phone call.

wait, we dont have phones in canada.

 

[ouizy]

I love it, but when did they let you out Mr. Kaczynski?

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

i believe you are asking mr. mcdonald, correct?

 

[ouizy]

i guess pear, i guess.

there were pears in teh dessert I had last night - they were very sweet, they did not remind me much of you...

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

did i at least cross your mind?

 

[ouizy]

of course they were "suckle" pears.














*isn't that what they are called?

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

i dont know - your the celebrity.

 

[Screaming Flower]

i, too, have an obsession with kieran's journal. it's excellent work.

bear does he know you have such a huge crush on him?

 

[Flag Pole Pear]

to a degree yes.

its because of me that he returned from his "holiday" to write more journals.

its a good thing he doesnt live anywhere near me, otherwise id be all over that sweet ass.