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Old 04-10-2005, 02:24 PM   #31
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Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:25 PM   #32
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Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:26 PM   #33
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Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:27 PM   #34
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Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:28 PM   #35
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Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:30 PM   #36
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Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:30 PM   #37
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Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right.
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:31 PM   #38
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Homer: If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:32 PM   #39
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Homer: It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol!
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:33 PM   #40
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Marge: Homer, you don't have to pray outloud.
Homer: But he's way the hell up there!
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:34 PM   #41
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Homer: [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:36 PM   #42
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Bart: b-6
Homer: you sunk my scrabbleship!
Lisa: this game makes no sense.
Homer: tell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI!
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:37 PM   #43
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Homer: Bart, I'm not asking you to give blood for free. That would be crazy. You may not realize it now, but when you save a rich guy's life, he showers you with riches. Don't you know the story of Hercules and the Lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the villagers tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough, so they got Hercules and he used his mighty strength, and bingo. Anyway, the moral is, is that the lion was so happy, that he gave Hercules this big... thing... of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get riches?
Homer: It was the olden days.
Bart: Oh.
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Old 04-10-2005, 02:38 PM   #44
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Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."
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Old 04-10-2005, 04:49 PM   #45
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