The Random Seinfeld Quotes Thread

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Jerry: You have no idea what an idiot is...
George: Is that right, I just threw away a life time of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots. :lol:

Just saw this on TV!
 
Jerry: [giving Elaine house sitting instructions] One last thing, Benes. Regarding sexual activity ... strictly prohibited, but, if you absolutely must, do us all a favor and do it in the tub.
 
George, to some punks in a movie theater, in "The Opposite": "Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats. We're trying to watch the movie. And if I have to tell you again we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like. Do you understand me? Shut your mouths or I'll shut 'em for you....and if you think I'm kidding, just try me,try me...because I would LOVE IT"

In fact:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQWDXnaBgKs
 
George: Why are you home? You're supposed to be out on your route and getting my calzones for Steinbrenner.
Newman: Well, I saw that it's raining outside, so I called in sick. I don't work in the rain.
George: But... you're a mailman! Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow-- It's the first one! :mad:

I just saw this one on TV. :lol:

It feels like I never used to watch this show, and then when I watch re-runs I've seen them all. I :heart: Seinfeld. Every episode is memorable.
 
I banged one out this afternoon. Some guy in my math class was playing with a straw and got a little spit on the girl in front of him. She turned and asked if he spit on her and he said no, and she asks who did, and I interject: "There must have been a second spitter!"

You know, behind the bushes near the gravely road.
 
phillyfan26 said:
I banged one out this afternoon. Some guy in my math class was playing with a straw and got a little spit on the girl in front of him. She turned and asked if he spit on her and he said no, and she asks who did, and I interject: "There must have been a second spitter!"

You know, behind the bushes near the gravely road.

I love it when Jerry says..."that was one magic loogy" :lol:

OMG when George makes his musical voicemail for his machine...It kills me...(to the tune of Believe it or not) "Believe it or not George can't pick up the phone, please leave a message a beep I must be out or I'd pick up the phone where could I be...Believe it or not I'm not home" lol I LOVE IT!!! (it's my voicemail:reject:)
 
The hardest that I have ever laughed at a TV show, from the dirty talk episode:

Jerry- "The panties that your mother laid out for you?"
 
Hehe when I was getting dressed this morning putting on my Bra, I was thinking about the episode when George's dad and Kramer thought they had a great invention with the male "Bro"


:lmao: I love that episode!
 
My 666th post!

Elaine: David! I'm going to hell! The worst place in the world! With devils and those . . . those . . . caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My God, the heat! What do you think about all that!

Puddy: It's gonna be rough.

Elaine (hitting Puddy): You should be trying to save me!

Puddy: Don't boss me! This is why you're going to hell!

Elaine: I am not going to hell! And if you think I'm going to hell, you should care that I'm going to hell! Even though I am not!

Puddy: You stole my Jesus fish, didn't ya!?

Elaine: Yeah! That's right! Agggggbllllllaaaaaggggggg!(making Excorcist/tongue-waving devil sounds!)
 
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