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Old 10-04-2006, 12:15 AM   #1
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the panic, the vomit yeah... ! ! ! !

dear interference,

hold my hand, and let's go for a walk. the leaves are falling, october means winter'll be hear in a month and summer never seemed so far away.

allow me, on our journey, to explain how to fight loneliness. laugh at every joke. smile
all the time.

not a bad idea, is it? jeff keeps telling me that everytime i ask him to. and amy's been telling me things that'll never be true, that i'll get over you.

we can climb a silver mount zion, and tell ourselves that we could've moved mountains... the violins in the background are a nice surprise, and make things more poignant, don't they?

yes, interference. we are getting older. this has been a long year, and it's not nearly over. we have thanksgiving and christmas to remind us of how much we're needed.

...by those we need.

with one fucking glaring exception, of course.

interference, i came to a startling conclussion. life was nearly perfect only a little while ago, but when i stopped to acknowledge that... i realized the moment that perfection was reached, something catostrophic would no doubt happen.

and i do mean catostrophic.

are you tired of walking with me yet? is it cause my hand is awkwardly touching you, copping a most-inappropriate feel? this is the internet, anything goes, sorry.

anyway, back to me talking and YOU shutting up and listening to ME.

i think we've all come close at some point to reaching a state of sheer happiness. but it's like a dream where you can't move... you need to inch forward to get away, to get somewhere else... but you can't.

it's EXACTLY LIKE THAT. don't act like you don't know what i'm talking about, cause i can see in your eyes that you do. why bother faking it?

so where is this going? where does anything i ever say here, go? nowhere. so connect the dots yourselves, and enjoy.

i have had, and i have lost. i tried my best, guys. the best you can is good enough.

but it won't make you happy.

so really... is that any good afterall?

...you're still holding my hand, right?

a hermit in your own head
grateful to feel dead

( )

whatever
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:24 AM   #2
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I thought that was beautiful in it's own way zoomerang
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:26 AM   #3
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you know, deathbear....

I think it's time we grow old and do some shit.


I am still holding your hand.


I like it all that way.
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:27 AM   #4
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that's sweet and all.

but shit... you're just not what i was looking for in
a woman

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Old 10-04-2006, 12:31 AM   #5
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Re: the panic, the vomit yeah... ! ! ! !

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoomerang96

a hermit in your own head
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:31 AM   #6
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They say that to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all.

What do you think, bear? Was it worth all the pain and heartache for a few moments of happiness? If you had it to do over again, would you? Or would you erase her from her memory like eternal sunshine?
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:33 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by zonelistener
I think it's time we grow old and do some shit.
Nice BSS reference there, zoney.
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:37 AM   #8
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Re: Re: the panic, the vomit yeah... ! ! ! !

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Originally posted by snowbunny00774


man you're way better at being a woman than zoney.

no offense zone.

but like i said.

you know...

you... you make a horrible woman.

calluna, i'm not sure i know what you're talking about.
i'm not trying to be difficult or "cute" either.

but the question, in general is most profound to anyone who's ever lived a life of... normality. which would include falling in love.

i'll explain my answer soon! one moment please.
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:41 AM   #9
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tonite i had it all figured out.
the answer to calluna's question. it was brilliant.

now all i got is this.

as much as it blows to fall off
from someone

finding what you really need is still somehow bigger a feeling
than the feeling one gets mucking about in the depths of despair

how do i know this?

cause people seem to always get back on their feet again

i'm not speaking from experience
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Old 10-04-2006, 12:47 AM   #10
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Very good, bear.

You'll be back on your feet again soon enough too, believe it or not.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:01 AM   #11
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Re: Re: Re: the panic, the vomit yeah... ! ! ! !

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoomerang96




no offense zone.

but like i said.

you know...

you... you make a horrible woman.
I think that is a good thing!

No offense taken. After all, I have been alone since 89.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:21 AM   #12
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Re: the panic, the vomit yeah... ! ! ! !

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoomerang96
are you tired of walking with me yet? is it cause my hand is awkwardly touching you, copping a most-inappropriate feel?
i've gotten used to it, bear.

i don't really know the answer to calluna's question either. one of the last things i said to him as he was breaking up with me was, 'what a fucking WASTE.'

a waste of what? of time? of energy? of my life? who knows. it's been 2 and a half years and i'm still trying to figure it out.

years go by, will i choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left?

i think you have to be able to find love and hope again to be able to look back over it all and decide whether it was worth it or not.

Quote:
Originally posted by zonelistener
I think it's time we grow old and do some shit.
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Old 10-04-2006, 11:17 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Calluna
They say that to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all.

What do you think, bear? Was it worth all the pain and heartache for a few moments of happiness? If you had it to do over again, would you? Or would you erase her from her memory like eternal sunshine?
It's always worth it.

Because going through all the pain and heartache makes those moments of happiness even sweeter.

I know, I know ... it sounds cliche, but I really believe it to be true.

Plus you learn shit about yourself, other people, and what you really want along the way.
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Old 10-04-2006, 11:19 AM   #14
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Re: Re: the panic, the vomit yeah... ! ! ! !

Quote:
Originally posted by lmjhitman
years go by, will i choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left?
omg!



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