Chicago fans, unite...! The greatest city in the history of American sports is now the WORST city in contemporary American sports!
BULLS: Worst in the NBA...? I think so.
BEARS: Worst in the NFL...? Not quite, but they're gonna' look like idiots against the Colts on Sunday.
CUBS: Relative to how good they SHOULD HAVE BEEN, they may be the worst team in the MLB.
SOX: Yeah...they blow.
BLACKHAWKS: The season isn't even happening, but let's not forget last Spring...ESPN voted The Chicago Blackhawks the SINGLE WORST TEAM IN ALL OF PROFESSIONAL SPORTS. *shudder*
ILLINI: Man, do they suck...at least at football. The basketball team will also, as per usual, underperform to previously unimagined levels.
Beat that, boys and girls!