The Man Code (oh so true!!) - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-04-2002, 07:06 PM   #1
Thom's Bitch
bono_man's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,276
Local Time: 05:55 PM
The Man Code (oh so true!!)

"The Man Code"

This is it. So it has been written, so it shall be....

1. Thou shall not rent the movie "Chocolate."

2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father,priest, shrink, dentist, accountant or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts.
You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyonewithin earshot is allowed to call B.S. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up together, your pal is forbidden to speak of
it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his
girlfriend's cat.

17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pal's significant others --- low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining
the priesthood.

20. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

23. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

26. Never talk to a man in the bathroom.

27. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

28.Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye,and deliver a
"Leave me alone!" You are absolved of your

"we're free to fly the crimson sky...the sun won't melt our wings tonight..."

bono_man is offline  
Old 04-04-2002, 07:13 PM   #2
Rock n' Roll Doggie
kobayashi's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: the ether
Posts: 5,142
Local Time: 03:55 AM
the thing is, it all makes sense.

kobayashi is offline  
Old 04-04-2002, 07:48 PM   #3
I serve MacPhisto
z edge's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: the HORROR
Posts: 4,022
Local Time: 01:55 AM
Funny as hell, I think I am a pretty good man if this is the judge!
z edge is offline  
Old 04-04-2002, 10:04 PM   #4
War Child
U2002revolution!'s Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Tucson, AZ ....USA
Posts: 528
Local Time: 11:55 PM
men suck! & i mean that!
(remember if your a true man that couldn't have hurt your 'feelings' go masterbate!)

' I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name. . .'
.:. U2: Rock's Unbreakable Heart!

Love is...cold steel/Fingers too numb to feel/Squeeze the handle/Blow out the candle
Love is blindness.../A little death/Without mourning/No call/And no warning...

[Thanks Coach P]
U2002revolution! is offline  
Old 04-04-2002, 11:13 PM   #5
Elvis' Naughty Angel
Angel's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: not here
Posts: 4,609
Local Time: 03:55 AM
Glad to see you liked it Jonny!
Angel is offline  
Old 04-05-2002, 12:58 AM   #6
Miss MacPhisto's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Planet Pleba
Posts: 1,957
Local Time: 11:55 PM
Oh ive seen this before! Damn funny every time!

Look...look what you've done to me...You've made me poor and infamous, and I thank you...

My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert

Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you...
Miss MacPhisto is offline  
Old 04-05-2002, 03:43 AM   #7
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 362
Local Time: 07:55 AM
Fortunately I'm still a boy so that code doesn't apply to me!
JimmyChicken is offline  
Old 04-05-2002, 05:18 AM   #8
love, blood, life
mad1's Avatar
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Angie Jolie lover from Belfast Norn Ireland. I LOVE YOU ANGIE! Im a Bono fan!
Posts: 13,151
Local Time: 08:55 AM
mad1 is offline  
Old 04-06-2002, 05:57 AM   #9
Thom's Bitch
bono_man's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,276
Local Time: 05:55 PM
Originally posted by JimmyChicken:
Fortunately I'm still a boy so that code doesn't apply to me!
well take note!

"we're free to fly the crimson sky...the sun won't melt our wings tonight..."
bono_man is offline  
Old 04-06-2002, 04:50 PM   #10
you are what you is
Salome's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: last fm
Posts: 21,854
Local Time: 09:55 AM
far too many rules
how am I supposed to drink large quantities of beer and still remeber all of this?

Shake it, shake it, shake it
Salome is offline  
Old 04-07-2002, 01:51 AM   #11
Thom's Bitch
bono_man's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,276
Local Time: 05:55 PM
a real man has it bread into him salome.

"we're free to fly the crimson sky...the sun won't melt our wings tonight..."
bono_man is offline  
Old 04-07-2002, 03:28 AM   #12
Kid A
The Wanderer's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Holy Roman Empire
Posts: 5,271
Local Time: 02:55 AM
also, you can't go shopping with a buddy, no wait, you can't go shopping at all, unless it's to a sporting goods or music store

and you can watch porn all you want, you can even talk about the movies you watch, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you talk about what you're doing while you're watching porn!!! (now that would be gay)

it's damn tough being a guy
The Wanderer is offline  
Old 04-08-2002, 05:22 PM   #13
MacPhisto's serving wench
The_Sweetest_Thing's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Inside a bubble
Posts: 3,773
Local Time: 02:55 AM

The_Sweetest_Thing is offline  

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:55 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright ©