The Late Show..for Oz

[zooropamanda]

Shit scared

Rob: I'm scared, just scared. Don't say the other word. Paul Keating's asked us not to say abusive language.
Mick: Ya can't say 'shit'. You can't say shit. If you say 'shit' you'd be in deep..shit.

Mick: Look! Robby's done wee!


Dinner Party Conversations

Jane: One of the best films this year would have to be Mediterranean
All: Brilliant! Brilliant!
Jason: We saw, The Last Days of Chez Nous.
All: Brilliant! Brilliant!
Santo: We got the video of Blazing Saddles. (silence)...Brilliant brilliant
Tom (the commentator): There's always a straggler. He's a conversational clutz.
Jason: Went to the local council and there was a handicapped person there..and not one single ramp in sight!
All: Terrible!
Santo: That's interesting cos our work hired a spastic. (silence) What's the use?...He can't do a thing...brilliant...brilliant
Tom: For every straggler there's a spoiler. He undercuts the achievements of others.
Jane: We've just been to the Greek Isles and it's the most beautiful place on Earth.
Rob: Greece was ruined 20 years ago. Have you been to Turkey?
Jason: The Power of One- a very good film. Brilliant.
Rob: Have you read the book? Twice as good as the film.
Tom: You can imagine him sitting next to a woman who's just given birth
Jane: Giving birth would have to be one of the most profoundly moving experiences of my life.
Rob: You've obviously never stood on the summit of Mt Everest.
Santo: Actually that would have snow on it...cos it's such a tall mountain...I mean in the wintertime.
Tom: Another conversational killer is the recently returned traveller who picks up an accent in 6 days...
possibly the worst person is someone who can't help but bring the mood down.
All are laughing.
Woman: A four year old woman was nearly murdered here 2 days ago
Tom: That'll take a bit of conversational rebuilding!
Jane: So...has anyone else here...been...murdered?
Jason: Great meal, Jenny!
Woman: It's such a pity to think that 4 million Somalian children are dying of starvation.
Santo: That'd be cos they're not eating.
Woman no.2: I've been to Somalia!
Rob: It's not a patch on Ethiopia.
Tom: Here's someone who never says a word because he's been dragged along by his partner!
Jason: So, Mick, what do you do?
Mick: Work?
Jason: And where's that?
Mick: City?
Jane: And where did you meet Karen?
Mick: Oh, she was chosen out of the studio audience...and I specifically remember asking for someone under fourteen.
Karen: And a virgin!
Mick: That too! No go on either count? I'm talkative now, aren't I?
Tom: No matter what you can always turn to TV.
Jason: The new series of Rumpole is coming!
All: Brilliant...brilliant!
Santo: What about, The Late Show?(silence) Brilliant..brilliant

CHAMPAGNE COMEDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

muckraking, charlie the wonder dog!!!!


My fave was Graham and the Colonel

what a stud this man is...

 

[zooropamanda]

hehe i love it

WHAT?S ALL THAT ABOUT?

We were sitting home one Sunday with a mate of ours called Kevin,

We had the TV on and it was tuned to Channel Seven,

Suddenly, Kev tells us ?It?s time for The Main Event!?,

We watched it for ten minutes and we turned to Kev and said: ?What?s all that about??

We were walking down the shops to get a couple of Choc Wedges,

We saw one of those posters up for Benson and Hedges,

The one that has a light bulb talking to a piece of bread,

We looked at it for half an hour and then we simply said: ?What?s all that about??

One day we went to see a film to pass the time away

It was one of those arty ones by Peter Greenaway,

All about a zebra and a pair of naked men,

After seven hours, I heard hmm hmm hmm and then: ?What?s all that about??

After that we went to hear a speech by that John Hewson,

After half an hour we could feel absolution,

He talked about his fightback package and his GST,

But there was only one response as far as we could see: ?What?s all that about??

After that we went to see a concert by The Cure,

But sadly fifteen minutes was all that we could endure,

The lead singer seemed quite depressed; he looked like he was dead,

Half-way through the second song, we turned around and said: ?What?s all that about??

So we took a quiet drive down through the countryside,

Pretty son we found ourselves looking quite mystified,

Tourists were all queuing up to see a giant worm,

We looked at one another and we had to use the term: ?What?s all that about??

Later on we were strolling through a quiet city mall,

We came across something that never fails to appall,

Students doing street theatre: God knows what it all meant,

I think you can imagine how the crowd?s reaction went: ?What?s all that about??

We had a friend called Barry, he?s demonically possessed,

So we got some holy water and we tried to have him blessed,

The priest came in and Barry spewed and then he spun his head,

The preacher looked at us and then he very softly said: ?What?s all that about??

Now, even though this song could go another twenty verses,

We?d better finish now before its impact all disperses,

Coz right now lots of viewers are sitting there at home,

They?re calling up the ABC and asking down the phone: ?What?s all that about??...

 

[LOVE MUSCLE]

what in the *&%^%#$$ is that all about

Hi Zoomandaroopa
I have no idea what you are talking about
but
anyway

Would you liike a light adult bev??


______

 

[zooropamanda]

I would adore one, thank you, Muscle of Loveliness

but make it a quickie because i exit stage left now

 

[Screaming Flower]

never say quickie to the love muscle.

but make it a quickie because i exit stage left now

are you going back to kiwiland?

 

[LOVE MUSCLE]

you and your stages manzoodaroopa

I would adore one, thank you, Muscle of Loveliness

but make it a quickie because i exit stage left now

please don't go


_____

 

[LOVE MUSCLE]

Re: never say quickie to the love muscle.

are you going back to kiwiland?

kiwi

sin't that the hairy little fruit?

________

 

[Screaming Flower]

long time no see lm.

kiwi

sin't that the hairy little fruit?

aren't you a hairy little fruit?

 

[LOVE MUSCLE]

Re: long time no see lm.

aren't you a hairy little fruit?

banana no hairy loud flower


______

 

[ABEL]

Re: long time no see lm.

aren't you a hairy little fruit?

: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :: laugh :

 

[LOVE MUSCLE]

real funny BEAL

___________



___________



____________

oops

_____________

 

[ABEL]

real funny BEAL

___________



___________



____________

oops

_____________

 

[Screaming Flower]

banana no hairy loud flower

loud flower no understand think banana dirty hairy.

 

[OzAurora]

For those not in the know the Late Show (in no way related to Lettermans show) was a comedy show that was on at about 10pm on Saturday nights at the start of the nineties and it was extrememly funny- I guess the closest thing to compare it to would be maybe Saturday Night Live but the late show was a lot more funnier, I dont know if any other people besides Aussies would get it, as it tends to be mainly Aussies who get our humour, but anyway it probably goes down as being my most favourite show of all time........


thanks for that little flash back manda, I do remember that dinner conversation skit and that stupid wig that Rob was wearing- really did make him look like a pompous twat.......and I must say that I always had a bit of a soft spot for Mick- for me it is all about personality and if a guy can make me laugh and has a wit, well I am in love!!!!!

anyway maybe we can go and summons the ABC to re-release every episode on DVD- now that would be good, not highlights but every episode