The guidelines for guys - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-02-2001, 04:04 PM   #1
Rock n' Roll Doggie
sulawesigirl4's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,416
Local Time: 03:54 PM
The guidelines for guys

Got this as a forward from a friend and it amused me. So how bout it guys? Is it pretty much true or what???

"Guidelines for Guys"

Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed or beaten
by his fellow partygoers.

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save his master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss' car
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game"
e. When his date is using her teeth

Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of
jail within 12 hours.

If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
forever, unless you actually marry her.

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is
5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes.
For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she
scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

Bitching about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden.
Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In
fact, even remembering your buddies birthday is

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always
ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on
a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a
topless supermodel... and it's free.

Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem -- you didn't see nothin'.

Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until
they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much
beer as the other sports watchers.

You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a
girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly threw
it into a ceiling fan.

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but
not both. That's just plain mean.

Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both
urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost
imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able
to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the
phone; Hang up if necessary.

The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have had
carnal drunken rampant sex, the fact that
you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to do it again before the
discussion about what a big mistake it was.

sulawesigirl4 is offline  
Old 09-02-2001, 04:24 PM   #2
Blue Crack Distributor
LarryMullen's POPAngel's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: I'll be up with the sun, I'm not coming down...
Posts: 53,698
Local Time: 03:54 PM
lol....too funny, sula!

"Enough of this video bullsh**, I'm going to give you some culture. Know what I mean?" -Larry, ZooTv Era

"the soul needs beauty for a soul mate"


LarryMullen's POPAngel is offline  
Old 09-02-2001, 05:20 PM   #3
Rock n' Roll Doggie
DrTeeth's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The Q continuum
Posts: 4,770
Local Time: 10:54 PM
Lot's of recognizable points there Sula
DrTeeth is offline  
Old 09-02-2001, 06:03 PM   #4
Naya's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brisbane (with Montreal in my heart!)
Posts: 2,142
Local Time: 03:54 PM
LOL !!!

Naya is offline  
Old 09-02-2001, 08:24 PM   #5
Forum Moderator
Bonochick's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Cherry Lane
Posts: 40,819
Local Time: 04:54 PM

That's some hilarious stuff, sula! Thanks for sharin'!

"I Can Lose Myself, You I Can't Live Without"
Bonochick is offline  
Old 09-03-2001, 07:20 AM   #6
Jesus Online
Angela Harlem's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 07:54 AM
Hahah very funny sula!

Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 09-03-2001, 08:40 AM   #7
Bad Daddy Johnny
Johnny Swallow's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: NW Arkansas
Posts: 1,925
Local Time: 03:54 PM
Oink oink baby!
Johnny Swallow is offline  
Old 09-03-2001, 08:58 AM   #8
New Yorker
christiana's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 2,703
Local Time: 04:54 AM
LMAO. That's funny sula!!!

Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until
they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much
beer as the other sports watchers.
I knew I'm a spy....

christiana is offline  

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:54 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright ©