teenagers

[angelordevil]

oh, erm with regards to teenagers and kids these days, i think its safe to say kids have always been unruly and hard to control, but in this day and age, kids are growing up to fast. they seem to forget childhood completely, and are missing out the innocent part of their life. its a shame, because if things keep going the way they are, id hate to bring my kids up (if i ever have any) in this sort of environment. i see it in school, not even like rumours, but people openly disscusing who slept with who, and people taking drugs downtown at lunchtime. i know for fact at least 2 people in my year have been, or are pregnant.

its gone too far.

Just reading back at a few other posts, I have to say that I think it all starts at home. It’s too easy to blame society, when many of these attitudes are fostered in our homes and only later hit the street and become "the norm." I’m not in kid-mode at the moment, though one day I’d like to have kids. What I’d tell them is that life is a rush of craziness, chaos, and beauty, and it’s important to have a kind of moral compass to sift through it all. I’ve often found myself cringing in the company of some of my friends’ parents and relatives. Some of the attitudes about women, other races, other countries, and other people, in general, are scary. These are attitudes that repeat themselves, unless there’s a way for kids to leave the ignorance of the last generation behind.

love_u2_adam, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders for your age. If you take pride in your originality, great things (and great friends), will follow.

 

[love_u2_adam]

^THANKS!

 

[nbcrusader]

This is an issue with bad parenting, not "bad teens" in general. If parents spend thousands of dollars so a friggin 10 year old can have his own PC and unmonitored access to the web, that's a different issue altogether.

Even beyond providing the tools, parents must teach them how to self-regulate behavior.

 

[love_u2_adam]

ya parents have to say you cant do this and u can do that!

 

[joerags]

It's all about being cool. When you're a teenager, you have to deal with peer pressure constantly. You want people to like you and think you are cool. It's not about being yourself. I was a closest U2 fan when I was a teenager, and I bet there are many teenagers today who are closet U2 fans. For 25 years, U2 has never been cool to teenagers.
Anyway..
It's all about being rebellious and doing whatever you want and disrespecting your parents. Hating your parents and disobeying them is a given when you a teenager.
If you're not smoking, doing drugs or having sex, you are a LOSER!!!
Why do you think teenage suicides are so high? Hell, when I was a teenager, I always thought about suicide. I still do. But when I was a teenager, it was so hard to be cool and think people are cool. Teenagers have to deal with this EVERY SINGLE DAY. So today, they have to like rap music, crappy pop/punk rock music, because it is so OMG cool.
Even the nerdy teenagers like me had to deal with pressure to get good grades.
A good movie to see is The Breakfast Club. That movie is so timeless. You can play that movie 50 years from now and teenagers could relate to it.

 

[love_u2_adam]

^its true today to, no one thinks im cool cause im in love with u2 but i dont care

 

[Carek1230]

Just reading back at a few other posts, I have to say that I think it all starts at home. It’s too easy to blame society, when many of these attitudes are fostered in our homes and only later hit the street and become "the norm." I’m not in kid-mode at the moment, though one day I’d like to have kids. What I’d tell them is that life is a rush of craziness, chaos, and beauty, and it’s important to have a kind of moral compass to sift through it all. I’ve often found myself cringing in the company of some of my friends’ parents and relatives. Some of the attitudes about women, other races, other countries, and other people, in general, are scary. These are attitudes that repeat themselves, unless there’s a way for kids to leave the ignorance of the last generation behind.

love_u2_adam, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders for your age. If you take pride in your originality, great things (and great friends), will follow.

I disagree tho not entirely. and I do so with firsthand knowledge and experience. I was a single parent, struggling to raise my son who is soon to turn 20 (on Bono's b'day). It was hard working FT plus keeping a watchful eye on him. I tried keeping him in extra curricular activities and going out of my way driving him all over town to have a decent social life with the kids he was friends with. He was a GATE student but all that went to the wayside in high school when peer pressure got the best of my son along with others. My son got into drugs and stealing from me, he turned evil and would throw things, push me around, curse me. I would call his father for help and he didn't know what to do. He insisted on buying the child a car when he began to drive which I was against and that is when everything really went to hell. My son's grades plummeted and he started cutting school, sneaking out of the house and having friends sneaking in. There was no trust. It was a living nightmare. I had a sign posted on the wall that said "Check Out Time: 18 Years". I couldn't wait until his 18th birthday. I called police many times for many reasons but my son and his friends were one step above the law every time. I tried counseling but my son walked out. I continued counseling to save my own sanity. One day my son decided he didn't need high school anymore, it was stupid and boring he said, so he chose to home school himself at an independent program in the school district. He went thru the motions and got his high school diploma and even walked with his class at graduation. 2 weeks before his 18th birthday he decided to move out since I'd lost my child support and could no longer afford where I lived. Altho I was moving to a cheaper 2 bedroom place he chose not to move with me. He did ok on his own and has never moved back home. He started college and is doing alright, now in his 2nd year. He has cleaned up his act although he parties too much. He could get better grades but he doesn't apply and challenge himself. He is working and his dad is helping him financially. He just bought a new car. I am one of the lucky ones that things seem to have worked out and my son wasn't one of those with burnt brain cells or one of the ones found in the gutter or in an auto accident. I believe PEER PRESSURE these days is the worst "drug" out there in the teen world, and teens are SO critical and MEAN to one another. I would NOT want to be a teen ager today. It is survival of the fittest, and a fight to be popular or find yourself a niche to fit into.

The best thing of all with my son and I now is that he is always telling me he loves me and apologizing for things he did that hurt me. It was a rough road and I wouldn't wish those times upon my worst enemy.

Any parents out there going through this or those with kids not yet in the teens.....good luck. Be tough, keep your sanity, and if there are two parents in the household, stick together as a team. Also remember there are all kinds of resources out there in communities, churches, schools, etc. to get help when you feel you need it. You are not alone.

To the young people here on Interference I commend you as you seem to be quite mature and respectful with values. Music has a great deal to do along with society with teens choosing how they want to act and who they think they want to be, and in my opinion the teens who are U2 fans are classy kids. My son, thank goodness, is slowly becoming a U2 fan. I only wish he would have done this much earlier, as I do feel it could have been a big difference in a very positive way in the interaction between he and I.

 

[love_u2_adam]

WOW^

 

[trevster2k]

Thanks for sharing that Carek,

 

[Carek1230]

It's been a rough road, but I am so glad I survived it. I am so glad that slowly my son is growing up and maturing and realizing the things he did to hurt me....not only that he has come up with some interesting things about teen agers today. He feels they are mean and tougher than any other generation ever was and that it is because of MTV.....too much sex and violence on television and in music. And he tells scary stories about the peer pressure he fought, things that went on in his high school....drug deals and sex in the restrooms and all over campus, how students stayed a step ahead of cops....places where they partied and what they would do when they cut school. What really scares me is what some of the kids did to raise money for drugs and the available drugs that are out there. Seriously there should be a course on peer pressure and it should be taught in grammar or elementary school!

 

[angelordevil]

It's been a rough road, but I am so glad I survived it. I am so glad that slowly my son is growing up and maturing and realizing the things he did to hurt me....not only that he has come up with some interesting things about teen agers today. He feels they are mean and tougher than any other generation ever was and that it is because of MTV..

You should be very proud of yourself. It’s difficult to be a single parent. I’ve seen this firsthand, as I grew up without a father around. In many ways, I think I actually benefited from the environment my mother created, but I sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like to have a guy in the house to look up to.

In terms of peer pressure, it certainly was there. Not so much drugs, but definitely drinking, etc. Outside of my mother, who was often busy at work, I was lucky to have my grandparents around me. They lived just down the street, and that proximity probably kept me from doing too many stupid things.

I completely agree that it’s probably more challenging to raise a child these days, with the overwhelming amount of violence depicted in the media, the easy access to drugs, and the overall lack of hope that many of them feel. We need better role models, better leaders, and as a product of a single parent family, I have to say, we need better men.

 

[MacHat]

When I was a teen the main thing my parents razzed me about was "you teenagers think you know everything, but you don't know diddly-squat", which I think is true in many cases .

As I got older, about 16-18, I realized what prats teens can be (not all, but a significant portion!)

 

[Liesje]

Even beyond providing the tools, parents must teach them how to self-regulate behavior.

I believe parents can achieve this simply by setting an example. It only works in some cases, since every child is different, but take me for an example - I've never had a curfew, I've never had set "chores", I've never not been allowed to do this or that...no rules, none. Here's the flip side - my parents stopped giving me money when I got my first job at age 14, I've never had access to a car so "doing whatever I wanted" meant I had to figure out how to do it and how I could afford it. Staying out until 4am meant I was on my own trying to drag myself out of bed for work/school/gymnastics the next morning. During middle school and high school I got good grades, had friends who could have a good time without all the bf/gf drama, didn't party or drink, no sex....and never once did I have a single rule imposed on me by my parents. I learned by watching their hard work and sacrifices how to make intelligent, responsible choices. I knew they would never bail me out and that once I turned 17 and left for college, I was on my own forever and better know how to deal. I wouldn't really say I was close to my parents, but we never fought and I was never punished. Making a bad choice and letting them down would've been punishment enough.

 

[Carek1230]

You should be very proud of yourself. It’s difficult to be a single parent. I’ve seen this firsthand, as I grew up without a father around. In many ways, I think I actually benefited from the environment my mother created, but I sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like to have a guy in the house to look up to.

In terms of peer pressure, it certainly was there. Not so much drugs, but definitely drinking, etc. Outside of my mother, who was often busy at work, I was lucky to have my grandparents around me. They lived just down the street, and that proximity probably kept me from doing too many stupid things.

I completely agree that it’s probably more challenging to raise a child these days, with the overwhelming amount of violence depicted in the media, the easy access to drugs, and the overall lack of hope that many of them feel. We need better role models, better leaders, and as a product of a single parent family, I have to say, we need better men.

Thank you, so much for your post. This proves that some single parent homes CAN raise decent young people and CAN set values and guidelines for their children. I have had so many people tell me that raising a child as a single parent is the most challenging role in our lives, and that one day we would reap the rewards. I see this happening in posts such as this and each time my son saws something so mature or apologizes for something dumb he did or said. Makes a lot of the struggle seem so worth it.

How lucky you were to have your grandparents. I moved from No. Calif. to So. California to be near family, two older male cousins who had promised to be there to help and be the mail influence in my son's life. They weren;t there. I think one cousin took my son to a baseball game and spent the entire $60 I'd given them for the outing, and the other cousin did nothing but complain about how horrifying it was to hear the way my son talked back to me (and HE was a cop). I don't think the male influence always is the answer.

 

[larryslass]

I also think you should be proud of yourself. Raising kids is one of the hardest jobs there is especially as a single parent in todays society. Glad to hear you both seem ok now. My son turns 13 tomorrow and i'm dreading it in a lot of ways. He's already starting the attitude!!!

 

[GibsonGirl]

I was thinking about this the other day, and it's somewhat related to the theme of this thread.

I'm very surprised at the speed young kids are growing up these days. Very surprised, and quite concerned. I was having a meal at the mall last summer, when I recognised a pair of little girls (aged nine and ten) in the booth ahead of me. Their mother works with my father. She had obviously left them there to run a quick errand. Anyway, they were both smothered in make up and nail polish, wearing short little skirts and petite little shoes with heels. They honestly looked like two underaged prostitutes. I don't know how their mother let them go out like that. That wasn't the least of the problems - the kids would not stop going on and on about all the "cute boys" in their classes and how much they wanted to "kiss them all over." I was kind of amused, repulsed and amazed at the same time. When I was nine, I was wearing Lion King t-shirts and baggy pants, playing rugby with the boys. Or I was at my friend's house colouring and watching cartoons. We NEVER spoke about boys and celebrities. Hell, I only began viewing boys as something more than lumbering oafs when I turned fourteen/fifteen! At the age of nine, not even the girly-girly girls in my school spoke about boys. We didn't care about Hollywood, we didn't care about make up and sexing ourselves up. That sort of thing was "icky!"

Scary thing is, there's only about ten years' difference between myself and these girls. It's not the only shocking case either. My younger sister told me the other day that a twelve-year-old in her old middle school was supsended for having weed in his possession. Fucking hell, smoking weed at the age of twelve. There's something wrong about that.

You can blame parents if you want, but I think 80% of the blame lies in the Internet and television (MTV in particular.)



By the way Carek, thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

 

[love_u2_adam]

^ya i saw 10/11 year olds making out a the swimming pool and i didnt start waring makeup till gr 8!!and i did not care about boys till gr 8!! and i still dont DRESS LIKE A SLUT!!!(AND NEVER WILL )

 

[angelordevil]

I was thinking about this the other day, and it's somewhat related to the theme of this thread.

I'm very surprised at the speed young kids are growing up these days. Very surprised, and quite concerned.

I don’t know if any one thing is to blame. Raising kids these days must be like watching a multitude of intersecting daggers flying through the kitchen. There’s so much stuff going on, it’s like “where do I begin to inject some meaning and soul.” We’ve got so many heartless multinational corporations pushing product on young people for no higher purpose than to make money. Why many of the young people who are watching the videos, look up to the ass-shaking, Get Rich or Die Tryin’ attitude is a complicated issue. I look at it as a moral one, and something filled with a loss of innocence, as you so eloquently put it. I also think that it leads to a loss of imagination and creativity, and gets replaced with bland sameness.

Sometimes I think that we’re in a cultural void. It’s certainly a bleak time leadership-wise, with our governments. Today's kids are growing up watching wars on television that are sponsored by oil and greed. As well, as many places are prospering, the often hidden story is how in the underbelly of many economic successes, there’s poverty, or at least much struggling. A little known fact, for example, is how locally, St. John’s is booming with its oil revenues, while the demand for subsidized housing is at record levels.

Looking nationally, and globally, there seems to be a lack of hope for many youth. Parents are struggling, and raising a child in many environments is the ultimate version of Survivor. For single parents, this is doubly so.

I still say that it’s too easy to “blame society,” “the media,” or one particular force in looking at the life of a modern kid.

However, I do think that there is great power in equipping children through education, love, etc. It can start in that kitchen I mentioned earlier, with communication, and fostering a sense of purpose. Winning all of the battles is impossible, and for other kids, it may take a long time to reach the real person hidden behind the prostitute-like makeup, or the Pornstar brand shirt.

But, through all of the madness, if someone says that they love you (as Carek has had happen), that’s a great starting point--and an innocent one.

 

[She Is Raging]

Kids are definetly growing up faster nowadays, it's unbelievable. Makes the idea of having kids even scarier, since I'm at the age where I'm considering this kind of thing.

About a month ago - I had to run a pregnancy test on a 13 year old, because she was afraid she was pregnant. Just last week, I had a 14 year old with a pierced cl*t. Seriously, how is it possible to be 14 years old and WANT that done?

 

[Doozer61]

i am getting ready to move into a home where there is a 17 year old that is so self-centered and has this outrageous sense of entitlement. She is inches away from not graduating and has no idea that the solution is in her hands because "all the teachers hate me" has taken over.

 

[Canadiens1131]

i am getting ready to move into a home where there is a 17 year old that is so self-centered and has this outrageous sense of entitlement. She is inches away from not graduating and has no idea that the solution is in her hands because "all the teachers hate me" has taken over.

Someone needs to have her cell phone priviledges revoked for a week or two to shape up

 

[Doozer61]

Someone needs to have her cell phone priviledges revoked for a week or two to shape up

oh, if you only knew...

 

[Irishteen]

Teenagers are really strange, I am one, now I can no longer look at myself the same way

 

[love_u2_adam]

^ur irish ur fine!!

 

[Irishteen]

You don't know any Irish teenagers do you

 

[love_u2_adam]

i know they do do stuff but not as bad as over here!!!

 

[Irishteen]

It isn't as bad as over there what do you do

Teenagers, French kissing several dozen people in 2 hours, teenagers having sex with strangers, about 50% of teens I know do hash

 

[love_u2_adam]

10/11 yr olds making out in public, little girls looking like sluts and wearing tones of make-up and coping our horrid celebritys and there sayings(paris hilton, i dont know if u know her), our teens birth rate is up from 10 yr ago and r u a girl?i am and this effects me!!and yes most of the people i know do pot!

 

[Irishteen]

No, I'm male, well that's what i told my girlfriend anyway, so I better be

16 year olds french kissing 11 year olds

6 year olds own make up sets

 

[love_u2_adam]

ya, its pritty nasty, theyll go with anyone they find not 16yr olds but like theyll flirt with them!!it scares me!!

and they all worship the sluts of our time etc brittany spears, paris hilton, cristina agulara(i cant spell her name), and well all the other ones...i cant think of then right now but i dont lisen to pop music sooo i dont need to know there names!