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Old 01-16-2002, 03:37 PM   #1
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Survey Results

Received from a friend in Canada:

The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.

The following were some of the winning entries:

Coffee (n.) a person who is coughed upon.

Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent

Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Circumvent (n.) the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

Rain from Heaven.

"I can't get no sleep."

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Old 01-16-2002, 03:38 PM   #2
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Funny shit.

Cut out the poetry
Let's hit the main artery
No time for a tourniquet
Let the colour's all run out of me

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Old 01-16-2002, 05:28 PM   #3
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Originally posted by Mirrorball Man:
Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
LMAO!!!! These are my favorites!!!! BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!

BONO: FOAD, Lawrence. Just FOAD. (LOL, Mona)

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Old 01-17-2002, 04:28 AM   #4
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LOL! Love the Frisbeetarianism one. I think I might convert.
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Old 01-17-2002, 04:30 AM   #5
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ok that was one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

I abdicate constantly.
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Old 01-17-2002, 04:39 AM   #6
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hahaha very funny!

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