Strip Clubs in Relationships

[RademR]

I was wondering what the general consensus was in blue crack about going to strip clubs while you're in relationships (dating or married). Do you have a problem with your "other" going to strip clubs? I know some people blow it off and dont care, and others think of it as a form of cheating.

I ask because I'm going up to Baltimore to the top strip club out there (a famous porn star is performing). I've never been really into strip clubs but my best friends are driving up there and want to make a night out of it at the local bars and that club. And my new girlfriend is tripping out a little bit over it. I don't see the big deal.

Thoughts?

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

thoughts? ya don't tell her, and then if she finds out after the fact, ya tell her "eh i'm sorry... that wasn't what we set out to do but after a few cocktails the guys wanted to go. i wasn't gonna hang around a strange city by myself, so i tagged along. the whole time i was thinking of you though, i sware."




no i haven't used that before


honestly



really



i sware

 

[HelloAngel]

I could truly care less if my boyfriend went to a strip club, and he could care less if I went to one. What matters most is where his is. Hell, I'd go to one with him. There's no shame in my game.

 

[nbcrusader]

Considering that the primary reason for going to a strip club is to lust over another woman, what do you think it says to your girlfriend?

Where do you place the value of the relationship in comparison to the "value" of attending the strip club?

 

[RademR]

no i haven't used that before


honestly



really



i sware

i was expecting a good response from u.

i didnt tell her btw, friend of mine's girlfriend told her.

but i would have.

seriously.

i swear.

 

[HelloAngel]

I lust after people all the time. So does he. It's ok to look. I dunno. I'm really one of the least petty girlfriends I've ever met.

 

[RademR]

I could truly care less if my boyfriend went to a strip club, and he could care less if I went to one. What matters most is where his is. Hell, I'd go to one with him. There's no shame in my game.

thats 100% how i feel. the last part is cool as hell, btw.

I lust after people all the time. So does he. It's ok to look. I dunno. I'm really one of the least petty girlfriends I've ever met.

i think it's natural to look, its in our nature to do so. Whether you act on it or not is when it becomes an issue

 

[BAW]

What Hello Angel said sums it up for me.

As far as I'm concerned, a little freedom goes a long way in a commited relationship.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

Once upon a time I used to have a massive problem with boyfriends of mine going to strip clubs. Terrible arguments would break out because of them. Then I realized I was in a losing battle and just grew tired of me being jealous and upset over them.

I don't care about them now. I have friends who used to strip and I now have a different view point about the clubs. If it is something that a guy that I am seeing wants to do, then fine go for it. He can spend all the money he wants there as long as it is not my money.

Hell some friends of mine make it a night to go with their girlfriends. It works for some people.


I think it only becomes a problem, if the person who goes there becomes obessed with the strip clubs and start to develop a twisted idea of how women are and what they should be.

 

[Dalton]

I think its a bad idea RademR.

I'll elaborate later.

 

[nbcrusader]

Realize that in most situations where a person says "I have no problem with this" - it sounds as if it is a mutual thing between the two parties.

Here, it is clear that your girlfriend has a problem with this.

 

[RademR]

Here, it is clear that your girlfriend has a problem with this.

thats a good point. However, she wasnt like THAT upset or anything. I could just tell in her voice that she didnt want me to go, and when I asked her she said she'd prefer if I didnt, but in the end she didn't care. Ya right....

the situation i'm in isnt a big deal, it just made me think about how others deal with the situation. I know there are people on opposites sides on this issue.

 

[Mr. BAW]

What Hello Angel said sums it up for me.

As far as I'm concerned, a little freedom goes a long way in a commited relationship.

BAW needn't worry about me going; I haven't been to a strip joint since I was 18 .. some 35 years ago...there's nothing to 'em. and its a waste of time and money..

As far as her going, I wouldn't expect that she'd go by herself but if it was with a group of gals, I'd say enjoy it...

 

[neutral]

It doesn't bother me. I have gone to strip clubs while in a relationship, both alone and with my bf.

 

[TwoAmericas]

I think it only becomes a problem, if the person who goes there becomes obessed with the strip clubs and start to develop a twisted idea of how women are and what they should be.

I agree 100 percent.

A lot of guys with wives and girlfriends go to strip clubs, but if they obsess over the girls and start going every single weekend, then that's a big problem.

 

[nbcrusader]

I think it only becomes a problem, if the person who goes there becomes obessed with the strip clubs and start to develop a twisted idea of how women are and what they should be.

Excellent point.

Same thing with pornography. Every viewing begins to twist the idea of how women are and what they should be.




Go to the strip club and you will inevitably compare your girlfriend to the stripper at some level.

 

[BVS]

The only time I've ever been is for bachelor parties. They aren't my thing. I don't get it, you pay money for nothing.

If you use them as a substitute, or they begin to warp your view of women then it becomes a problem.

 

[coemgen]

I tell you what — I was in my best friend's wedding this summer and he and a bunch of other guys went to a strip club after we played some poker at the bachelor party. (I won the entire tournament — first time playing for money!) I declined to go to the club (for personal reasons and because I knew my wife would be bothered by it). My friends respected me (you know, because they're my friends) and they went, spent a crap load of money and saw naked women dance and do whatever. Then they went home to upset wives/girlfriends. I went home and my wife said she felt so respected by my decision and we ended up having ...a great night together. I don't regret my decision one bit.
Also, just because a woman says it doesn't bother her, it probably does. It's almost like an iceberg. What you see as her reaction to you wanting to go may be attached to a larger reaction that's within her (under the water so to speak.) That's just been my experience, and I've had numerous chances to go with friends to strip clubs while I've been in relationships, but I've always declined. I've always been happy about my decisions too.

 

[AvsGirl41]

What I find odd is that the women who so often go nuts over their boyfriends/husbands going to strip clubs would probably think nothing of going to a Chippendales show.

How do guys feel about women going to see male strippers?

I don't know that I would care if my boyfriend went, especially if he was open about it. It's what they don't tell you about that you have to worry.

 

[BVS]

Also, just because a woman says it doesn't bother her, it probably does.

Not unless you are with an honest woman.

 

[coemgen]

Good point BVS. I didn't mean all women are like that. I just think it's something to consider when in this situation.

 

[nbcrusader]

Not unless you are with an honest woman.

Isn't that a little harsh on women who are trying to balance understanding the man's desire with her own feelings on the subject.

It's a two way street - men need to be able to communicated and understand the women's position as well.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

As far as her going, I wouldn't expect that she'd go by herself but if it was with a group of gals, I'd say enjoy it...

I think I know what Char and I are doing next time we see each other...

 

[deep]

Women should charge their boyfriends a dollar everytime they look them in the eye and smile.

 

[dandy]

i can only speak for myself on this, and i do have strong opinions about why i don't think it's a good idea. a lot of women chalk up their intense dislike of their men going off to ogle naked women as irrational jealousy. i don't think that's the root of the problem. it's the fact that a lot of men never stop to think about the overarching implications of the strip club--it's demeaning and disrespectful to women in general. (not to mention tacky, cheap, and incredibly unoriginal.) reducing women to sexual objects to leer at, to throw money at, all for some fleeting sense of gratification.

Same thing with pornography. Every viewing begins to twist the idea of how women are and what they should be.

i agree. extensions of the same problem.

 

[coemgen]

Amen dandy!

 

[BVS]

Isn't that a little harsh on women who are trying to balance understanding the man's desire with her own feelings on the subject.

It's a two way street - men need to be able to communicated and understand the women's position as well.

I don't think so.

Yes it's a two way street. But honestly is the only way. If acting like you're OK but you really aren't, you aren't helping anyone. Keeping things like that just build up. Nothing is worse than built up anger. Believe me I speak from experience.

 

[Blue Room]

Eh, its overrated and an incredible waste of money.

If you are in a relationship and she doesnt like it, why go? Its just not worth it. It is a little disrespectful to the girl. Save yourself some money. The only way I can see going is for some type of special occasion, like a buddies bachelor party. Then its more of a traveling party that has that as one of the stops. It may just be me, but it seems odd to want to go there just because its friday.

Honestly though I dont think most guys that go or have gone would actually want to get together with any of the girls that work there and I doubdt the girls would want to get together with them either! Certainly didnt give me a false perspective of what women should be like. It made me appreciate the girls that werent there if anything.

 

[lauren430]

I agree they're overrated but don't think it's a big deal for either party to go to one.

 

[Windmilllane]

God Bless Hot Strippers

There is nothing more important in life than being Hot-looking.