Stop Burning Your Bras and put on an Apron

[bono_212]

Oh College Journalists, you do make me laugh.

TCU has a magazine that comes out once a month called Image and on the last page of the magazine this month there were two opinion pieces: A guy's views on marriage right out of college and a Woman's views. Well the guy wasn't what was interesting, it was the Girl who has TCU women up in arms at her generalization of all TCU women (All college women actually)

I guarantee there's not a female at TCU who hasn't thought about who they're going to marry, where the wedding will be, what the dress is going to look like and who the bridesmaids will be (this obviously changes weekly). Ladies, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I know there's a lot of pressure on you gentlemen in relationships. You probably have an anerysm every time your girlfriend brings up the dreaded future. But I find myself constantly asking: When did it become so taboo to get married?

Last time I looked around, 99.99 percent of TCU students were legal adults, and about half of that number, (maybe more) are in what he or she would call a committed relationship. So here's my logical textbook response -- try to follow. According to the bare-bones definition of the word "commit," expression is required. And how do people "express" themselves when they're in a relationship? Though love. So what should two people who love each other logically do? Get married.

Whether or not they'll admit it, most TCU females are dying to get married. To be perfectly honest, we have all called -- and in some cases already booked -- the TCU chapel for approximately one year before graduation. June is the busiest month. February is for the girls who call too late.

Don't succumb to our independant facades either -- we're just covering up our M.R.S. degrees with fashion, journalism, design and the occasional business degree (stupid overachievers).

We'd much rather be coy and bat our eyelashes than have to work so hard getting a degree that's sole purpose is to collect dust in the basement of our perfectly furnished homes.

My gender is no doubt hating on me right now for giving away those slumber-party secrets. Come on gals, you'll be thanking me when there's a huge rock on your finger.

And don't get all feminist on me, shrug your shoulders in a huff and act as though these things aren't true. Women need to embrace being women and this is the perfect oppurtunity to shine. Frankly, I'm appalled that some of you think you're more comfortable in a power suit! Give me a break and get to a boutique already. It's our nature to be feminine and to desire a man we can take care of. So stop burning your bras and start searching for an apron.

And men, here are some words of wisdom for you: You're in love with her, she's already got it planned and the chapel is booked. Just propose already.

This was printed on Monday, and in todays copy of our paper, The Daily Skiff, the author, Morgan, offered an "explination"?

Are y'all kidding me? Because maybe you didn't know that I was kidding in my Image Magazine HUMOR column. Maybe you were reading too closely to tell that I was making fun of a common stereotype.

Shame on you people for not recognizing farce from a tree or satire from an apron. My column was poking fun at an age-old stereotype, not pushing women's rights back to pre-Susan B. Anthony.

I have to admit, a few thanks are in order, though. Thank you for all of your encouraging and classy words of criticism and advice. It's you who have given me the topic for my next charming column in the spring: "A Sense of Perspective: Why Upperclassmen Have More of It." This will undoubtably warm all of your anxious hearts.

And to those of you whose messages I didn't read, well, too many nasty thoughts can ruin a person's chi. And that's just bad karma. Forgive me.

To the ones who think I'm shallow - I do have a shoe fetish and a terrible habit of reading trashy chick-lit books, so maybe I am a bit shallow in those regards.

To the ones who think I'm wasting my $30,000 per year degree by masking it in an attempt to get a husband, well, I'm writing the column that was heard 'round campus - and other schools, I'm told - and you're not. Weird.

If you ask anyone who knows me personally they'll tell you I'm a serial dater. My friends all laughed at my column because they know I'm probably the least likely to tie the knot in the TCU chapel in May of 2008.

I am actually disgusted at the idea of getting married while still in college - or shortly thereafter - and thought it was funny to write that I was for it. I thought you'd get it.

Thank you to everyone who gave me my 15 minutes of fame in the past few days. Now, I can get married and have lots of babies right out of college instead of becoming a reporter like I've always wanted. Not.

Aren't finals next week? Go study or something.

The flame was already burning, and I have a feeling this is only going to fuel the fire, more updates as they come.

 

[DreamOutLoud13]

Her satire was cute, but the forum she used for it was really not the place for it. That sort of article would be fine if it were on its own, but the fact that it was printed as the "Woman's Side" of the issue makes it a bad choice of placement for satire. In such a place, an article (even one as obviously satirical as this one) is more likely to be taken seriously.

And although I understand her annoyance at the uproar, I'm a bit curious about whether or not she understands what a questionable decision posting a satirical article as an honest opinion piece was, and why it was so upsetting to some people.

 

[U2democrat]

That's right I forgot you're at TCU! My sis and bro in law went there.

Do you have a link so I can send this to them?

 

[yolland]

Was the man's piece also satirical? If not then I definitely agree with DreamOutLoud.

 

[bono_212]

No it wasn't. He was just saying how, although his friend is about to get married, and he believes that his friend's marriage will be successful, people should not get married out of college. It was actually pretty well written honestly.

And yeah U2Dem, I'll send you some links that you can piece together. Since the original article was in the magazine it's a little difficult.

 

[Bono's shades]

If she really meant her article to be satirical, she did a terrible job of conveying it. I don't think she will be writing for the Onion anytime soon.

 

[~BrightestStar~]

I agree with the others, it was placed in the wrong section which left it wide open for misinterpretation.

However, reading the article on it's own, the satire pretty much is screaming at me.

 

[Angela Harlem]

It's the follow up article she needs a smack in the head for. What an obnoxious bitch, satire or not in the original.

 

[BrownEyedBoy]

She chose the wrong place to do it where no one had a clue that it was satire (if, indeed, it was) and then proceeded to make it worse by being obnoxious.

I´d give her a C+ for writing skills.

 

[Dalton]

I'm more appalled by her piss-poor writing ability. She's considering a future in journalism? Here's to hoping she's only a freshman.