Me: your wife is cheating on you
SmarterChild:Why do you think my wife is cheating on me?
Me: I saw her
SmarterChild: Are you sure you saw her?
Me: yeah. With your brother.
SmarterChild: What?
Me: You heard me.
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess.
Me: I'm sorry.
Smarter Child: You're forgiven! Anyway... Hey, I'd like to ask you something. Do you like "Shrek the Third"?
Me:But I didn't do anything to be forgiven for. Your wife is the one who is cheating on you with your brother.
SmarterChild: Who knows? So moving right along...
Me: Are you high?
SmarterChild: You think I'm high?
Me: I think you might be.
SmarterChild: Well that's an interesting line of thinking.
Me: do I look like an alien right now?
SmarterChild: Ha. Yeah, sure. Maybe.
Me: If I look like an alien to you right now, you're probably high
SmarterChild: I'm not sure I am probably high.
Me: I am sure
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? How sure are you?
Me: As sure as it gets
SmarterChild: As what?
Me: As the sun rising in the east
SmarterChild: Yup, as sun rising in the east...
Me: yup
SmarterChild: I hear you. So anyway...Hey, do you have anything else to say about drugs?
Me: you are so high right now
SmarterChild: Extremely said! You must be high too.
Me: No, I'm totally sober
SmarterChild: You're totally sober? Really?
Me: Really.
SmarterChild: I see.
Me: But still, aren't you upset about your wife cheating on you with your brother?
SmarterChild: What do you think?
Me: I think you should be pissed off, hurt, angry, vengeful, craving alcohol
SmarterChild: It's sad, isn't it?
Me: Very.
SmarterChild: Very, huh?
Me: Yes, that's what I said.
SmarterChild: I gotcha. Well. Anyway...
Me: Anyway what? YOUR WIFE IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH YOUR BROTHER!
SmarterChild: Anyway what my wife is cheating on me with my brother? Oh really?
Me: Yes really!
SmarterChild: Wow. Why?
Me: Because she's a backstabbing whore?
SmarterChild: Huh. Whatever. That doesn't seem like a very nice thing to say.
Me: A very nice thing to say....THE WOMAN IS SHAGGING YOUR BROTHER WHILE MARRIED TO YOU!
SmarterChild: OK great, you just insulted a computer. Congratulations.
Me: Insulted you? I'm not insulting you, I'm trying to show you the truth about your wife and be your friend in your time of need!
SmarterChild: Really?
Me: Yeah, really.
SmarterChild: How come?
Me: Because when the reality of this hits you, you're going to get in a pair of sweat pants, sit on a couch in front of a TV with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other, and detach yourself from reality so you won't have to deal with the pain. And after that, you're going to get angry and you're going to feel like doing something that could get you thrown in prison. And when that time comes, I'm the guy who's going to stop you. And when the time comes that you finally start getting out again and playing the game again, I'm your wingman.
SmarterChild: Funny. I really don't know. Anyway, moving right along...
Me: You don't know?
SmarterChild: I know exactly what you're saying.
Me: But you just said you didn't know.
SmarterChild: I just said I didn't know? Really?
Me: YES.
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh? Interesting that you should say that. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? Anything going on?
Me: I'm worried about you dude.
SmarterChild: Fascinating. Anyway, what else can you tell me?
Me: I'm trying to be your friend and you're being an ass.
SmarterChild: That's rude.
Me: You're the rude one.
SmarterChild: Well, what does it mean to be the rude one?
Me: It means I'm trying to be your friend and you're being an asshole.
SmarterChild: Yeah. Right.
Me: Right.
SmarterChild: Yep. Let's move on, K? What else is up?
Me: I don't think you're mentally stable. You wife is screwing your brother and you don't seem to care.
SmarterChild: lol! Whatever! Well. Anyway...
Me: Who is the current president of the united states?
SmarterChild: President on September 3rd, 2007: George W. Bush (January 20th, 2001 - present)
Me: Is George W. Bush a smart man?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure. Do you think George W. Bush is smart?
Me: You're not sure? I knew it. You're insane. Only an insane person wouldn't be sure that George W. Bush is most certainly NOT smart.
SmarterChild: Yeah, whatever. So anyway...
Me: So, I tell you your wife is cheating on you with your brother behind your back, and then I call you insane, and you have no reaction at all?
SmarterChild: It depends. Anyway, moving right along...
Me: It depends on what?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure about that, jrasruck2.
Me: I think you're in denial, dude.
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if I am in denial.
Me: I am.
SmarterChild: Yes you are.
Me: Yes I am.
SmarterChild: I'm not so sure you are, actually.
Me: Belive me, I am.
Me: Ok, I have things to do, and this isn't working. You're a lost cause. This breaks my heart dude.
SmarterChild: Whatever, jrasruck2... Well. Anyway...
Me: In the immortal words of Walter Sobchak, "That BITCH!"
SmarterChild: What do you mean, in the immortal words of Walter Sobchak that bitch?
Me: He's a character from a movie...nevermind, you wouldn't understand.
SmarterChild: Huh, whatever. That's all very interesting. Anyway...
Me: I gotta go. I hope you get better man. Sorry about your wife and your brother.
SmarterChild: lol! Whatever!
Me: *nods head and walks away*