Shuttlecock XXIX: You Snooze, You Get a Boring Thread Title

[mikal]

Hey Irvine, Meredith Baxtor's announcement today got me thinking. If you were to have sex with a lesbian, would it be considered "switching teams" or would it be more akin to throwing an interception?

maybe "roughing the passer" or "intentional grounding"?

 

[Irvine511]

Hey Irvine, Meredith Baxtor's announcement today got me thinking. If you were to have sex with a lesbian, would it be considered "switching teams" or would it be more akin to throwing an interception?

i haven't heard, but i assume that she's now a lesbian?

what's funny is that i almost had sex with a lesbian once in college, but we were both like, eh, maybe not. we were both not yet out but it just seemed like watching Dawson's Creek would have been a better use of time.

in sports terms, wouldn't it be like scoring on your own team, like in soccer?

 

[Dalton]

Wow. You really are a gay. I'll need to explain the straight guy continuum. Top is "most hetero the farther down you get the gayer it is ... you know cause gays go down ...

Straight sex with multiple women
^
^
Straight sex with one woman
^
^
Lesbian sex
^
^
Straight sex with a woman and another guy
^
^
Queer as Folk marathon

 

[Dalton]

BTW - read you're fucking playbook! She isn't "NOW a lesbian". She finally came to terms with her genetic disposition.

Rookie.

 

[Irvine511]

Wow. You really are a gay. I'll need to explain the straight guy continuum. Top is "most hetero the farther down you get the gayer it is ... you know cause gays go down ...

it took me many reads to understand this sentence.

at first, i thought you were talking about the top/bottom dichotomy, and how it isn't *really* gay if you are the top, or if the gay is going down on you. that's just being an Aussie rugby player/Spanish footballer/A-Rod.

but now i understand you.

 

[Irvine511]

BTW - read you're fucking playbook! She isn't "NOW a lesbian". She finally came to terms with her genetic disposition.

Rookie.

fair enough.

also, it's "your."

philistine.

 

[Dalton]

My apologies Sodomite, I'm trying to listen to a lecture while I toss out these nuggets of heterosexuality.

 

[Dalton]

BTW - it took me awhile to decide if Lesbian Sex ever comes before any type of straight sex, but I'm comfortable with my final determination.

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

 

[phillyfan26]

BTW - read you're fucking playbook! She isn't "NOW a lesbian". She finally came to terms with her genetic disposition.

Rookie.

"You're" grammar is shit.

 

[phillyfan26]

My apologies Sodomite, I'm trying to listen to a lecture while I toss out these nuggets of heterosexuality.

Lecture? Are you back in school? That sounds like something I should be saying as an excuse to not following the discussion.

 

[Dalton]

Irvine, in one careless post, throws out years of progress won by the flamboyant, a-sexual sidekicks on countless sitcoms and chick flicks and I'm the one catching hell? For my grammar?

You're parents would be proud.

 

[Dalton]

Lecture? Are you back in school? That sounds like something I should be saying as an excuse to not following the discussion.

In my job, I'm often "invited" (read: required) to attend professional lectures in which we find different ways to congratulate ourselves on being captains of the titanic.

 

[phillyfan26]

Irvine, in one careless post, throws out years of progress won by the flamboyant, a-sexual sidekicks on countless sitcoms and chick flicks and I'm the one catching hell? For my grammar?

You're parents would be proud.

Irvine hasn't capitalized a word in his life; we gave up on him long ago. We held you to higher standards. And you failed us.

 

[Irvine511]

Irvine, in one careless post, throws out years of progress won by the flamboyant, a-sexual sidekicks on countless sitcoms and chick flicks and I'm the one catching hell? For my grammar?

You're parents would be proud.

my parents don't know i'm a lesbian.

 

[phillyfan26]

In my job, I'm often "invited" (read: required) to attend professional lectures in which we find different ways to congratulate ourselves on being captains of the titanic.

Are they "inviting" you to go down with the ship?

 

[Dalton]

Irvine hasn't capitalized a word in his life; we gave up on him long ago. We held you to higher standards. And you failed us.

I have let my fans down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my fans deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with a sock. Those feelings should be shared by me alone.

 

[phillyfan26]

I have let my fans down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my fans deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with a sock. Those feelings should be shared by me alone.

This is why you should have put her in your phone as "Pizza Place."

 

[Irvine511]

are you guys talking about sports?

 

[phillyfan26]

are you guys talking about sports?

One particular athlete who's been in a bit of a jam lately.

 

[Dalton]

This is why you should have put her in your phone as "Pizza Place."

areolas the size of pepperonis

 

[Dalton]

One particular athlete who's been in a bit of a jam lately.

More of a "jelly". Jam don't shake like that.

 

[phillyfan26]

areolas the size of pepperonis

Fast delivery, too.

 

[Irvine511]

so Tiger went in for a slice?

 

[Dalton]

Has The Jew left the site again? I haven't seen a post from him in a couple of days.

 

[Irvine511]

Has The Jew left the site again? I haven't seen a post from him in a couple of days.

he was supposed to tell me all about the TV he swindled bought but has yet to do so.

 

[phillyfan26]

Has The Jew left the site again? I haven't seen a post from him in a couple of days.

He's on one of his indefinite leaves from the site or something.

 

[Dalton]

He's on one of his indefinite leaves from the site or something.

I'll never again wait around for a Jew who tells me he'll be back "one day". Jesus ruined that for me.

 

[u2popmofo]

Irvine, please tell me your thoughts on this sound bite.

Utah Senator Misspeaks About Gay Rights�Video

 

[phillyfan26]

Irvine, please tell me your thoughts on this sound bite.

Utah Senator Misspeaks About Gay Rights�Video

The comments there are just sad.

 

[u2popmofo]

I haven't looked at the comments, I just loved the sound bite. You know the guy in the editing room was having a laugh on that one. That Butters guy IS a complete tool and embarrassment in every possible way though.