Shuttlecock XXIII: Shit Pants, Move to Trash

[Lancemc]

If only The Blum were still here to share this tender moment with us.

 

[No spoken words]

If only The Blum were still here to share this tender moment with us.

I miss him, Lance. I miss him a lot.

 

[Reggo]

Congrats on the new car, Pfan.

 

[LMP]

If only The Blum were still here to share this tender moment with us.

I miss him, Lance. I miss him a lot.

After seeing The Fly, I've come to the conclusion that real-life Geena Davis probably killed him. With a real-life shotgun.

Whether or not he morphed into a human/fly-hybrid is up for debate.

 

[Reggo]

I'm discombobulated. Would someone care to straighten out any fallacies in the following plot points of the first 3 Star Wars movies I think I understand? Someone tried to explain the plots to me and just confused me even more.

Leia is kidnapped by the Empire (?) and sends a message via R2D2 to Obi-Wan Kenobi to rescue her. Luke Skywalker finds R2 or R2 malfunctions and plays the message and Luke goes over to Obi-Wan's and shows him the message and Obi-Wan starts training Luke to become a Jedi because Luke wants to rescue Leia.

This is also the one where they blow up the first Death Star, right? Is Yoda in this one? Who's Emperor Palpatine and how does he figure into it all?

Then in the second one, Boba Fett captures Han Solo for Jabba the Hutt and freezes him. But he doesn't get rescued till Return of the Jedi and even then, it's Leia and Chewbacca who do it, not Luke. Well, where the hell is Luke and what happened to the Empire and Darth Vader?

Basically, I guess I'm just asking one of you guys to give me a basic synopsis of these before I watch them. I've garnered some information from spoofs and clips I've seen, but apparently, I'm still missing out on a lot.

 

[bono_212]

I'm discombobulated. Would someone care to straighten out any fallacies in the following plot points of the first 3 Star Wars movies I think I understand? Someone tried to explain the plots to me and just confused me even more.

Leia is kidnapped by the Empire (?) and sends a message via R2D2 to Obi-Wan Kenobi to rescue her. Luke Skywalker finds R2 or R2 malfunctions and plays the message and Luke goes over to Obi-Wan's and shows him the message and Obi-Wan starts training Luke to become a Jedi because Luke wants to rescue Leia.

This is also the one where they blow up the first Death Star, right? Is Yoda in this one? Who's Emperor Palpatine and how does he figure into it all?

Then in the second one, Boba Fett captures Han Solo for Jabba the Hutt and freezes him. But he doesn't get rescued till Return of the Jedi and even then, it's Leia and Chewbacca who do it, not Luke. Well, where the hell is Luke and what happened to the Empire and Darth Vader?

Basically, I guess I'm just asking one of you guys to give me a basic synopsis of these before I watch them. I've garnered some information from spoofs and clips I've seen, but apparently, I'm still missing out on a lot.

Well, in general, a viewing of the movie really is necessary, and would be more entertaining then having the movies summed up for you. Palpatine is, well...the Emperor, but in the OT he really doesn't show up until Return of the Jedi.

There's no REAL answer to "Where the hell is Luke" but if you're ever THAT interested, there's a pretty cool Star Wars book called Shadows of the Empire that attempts to bridge the gap between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.

 

[No spoken words]

I'm discombobulated. Would someone care to straighten out any fallacies in the following plot points of the first 3 Star Wars movies I think I understand? Someone tried to explain the plots to me and just confused me even more.

Leia is kidnapped by the Empire (?) and sends a message via R2D2 to Obi-Wan Kenobi to rescue her. Luke Skywalker finds R2 or R2 malfunctions and plays the message and Luke goes over to Obi-Wan's and shows him the message and Obi-Wan starts training Luke to become a Jedi because Luke wants to rescue Leia.

This is also the one where they blow up the first Death Star, right? Is Yoda in this one? Who's Emperor Palpatine and how does he figure into it all?

Then in the second one, Boba Fett captures Han Solo for Jabba the Hutt and freezes him. But he doesn't get rescued till Return of the Jedi and even then, it's Leia and Chewbacca who do it, not Luke. Well, where the hell is Luke and what happened to the Empire and Darth Vader?

Basically, I guess I'm just asking one of you guys to give me a basic synopsis of these before I watch them. I've garnered some information from spoofs and clips I've seen, but apparently, I'm still missing out on a lot.

Luke rescues Han with the help of R2D2, Lando, Chewie and Leia. But it's Luke's plan and he figures prominently in the rescue. That's in Return of the Jedi. So that's where Luke is, plotting the rescue, and then doing the rescue.

Emperor Palpatine is......well, the Emperor. Vader's boss, if you will. He likes to dominate shit.

The things you say about the first film are more or less correct. Yoda is not in the first film, though. Yoda shows up in Empire Strikes Back.

Vader and Luke square off in Jedi, and Luke beats him.....then the Emperor starts to kill Luke's ass, and Vader then picks the Emperor up and tosses that motherfucker down a shaft, saving Luke, who is Vader's son. Vader earns redemption at last, after killing several billion people.

 

[Lancemc]

The real question is "Where was Jar-Jar during the events of episode 4?"

I assume he got his Gungan ass blowed up some time after Revenge of the Sith? I think Lucas needs to do a New Hope re-revisit and CG in some scenes explaining the fate of Jar-Jar. Ehh? Anyone? I'll write him a letter.

 

[LMP]

Wasn't there a rumor of there being a cutaway to Jimmy Smits and the rest of Alderaan getting blown the fuck up by the Death Star in a future "special" edition.

I'd love to see Greedo kill Jar-Jar.

 

[No spoken words]

The real question is "Where was Jar-Jar during the events of episode 4?"

I assume he got his Gungan ass blowed up some time after Revenge of the Sith? I think Lucas needs to do a New Hope re-revisit and CG in some scenes explaining the fate of Jar-Jar. Ehh? Anyone? I'll write him a letter.

I hope Avatar sucks.

 

[No spoken words]

Wasn't there a rumor of there being a cutaway to Jimmy Smits and the rest of Alderaan getting blown the fuck up by the Death Star in a future "special" edition.

I'd love to see Greedo kill Jar-Jar.

I don't know why, but a cut away to Smits before Alderaan gets blowed the fuck on up would crack me up.

You prefer another cutaway, a military cutaway? Then name the system.

 

[bono_212]

Wasn't there a rumor of there being a cutaway to Jimmy Smits and the rest of Alderaan getting blown the fuck up by the Death Star in a future "special" edition.

I'd love to see Greedo kill Jar-Jar.

I'd buy it again for that.

 

[Lancemc]

You know what else I'd like to see? I new Pod-Racer video game. Anyone play that back on the N64/PC? Shit was awesome.

 

[LMP]

I don't know why, but a cut away to Smits before Alderaan gets blowed the fuck on up would crack me up.

You prefer another cutaway, a military cutaway? Then name the system.

You're far too trusting.

Leia's faux-British accent kills me.

You know what else I'd like to see? I new Pod-Racer video game. Anyone play that back on the N64/PC? Shit was awesome.

Yep. And the arcade game, honky.

 

[No spoken words]

You know what else I'd like to see? I new Pod-Racer video game. Anyone play that back on the N64/PC? Shit was awesome.

Someone shoot this fuck with the ion cannon.

 

[LMP]

They're re-doing Star Tours at Disney in the next year or so. Instead of Pee-wee Herman fucking up a trip to Endor, instead you get chased by Boba Fett while ADMIRAL ACKBAR speaks to you on the ride.

Holy fuck.

 

[Lancemc]

I don't know why, but a cut away to Smits before Alderaan gets blowed the fuck on up would crack me up.

You prefer another cutaway, a military cutaway? Then name the system.

I think the film should be re-written do that the Death Star doesn't just blow shit up within seconds, but instead causes some more Romulan-mining lazzzar style shit-fucking-uppedness that takes a while to get done. That way lucas could hire Roland Emmerich to film his own 40-minute disaster style sequence of Alderaan geting its ass handed to it.

 

[No spoken words]

I think the film should be re-written do that the Death Star doesn't just blow shit up within seconds, but instead causes some more Romulan-mining lazzzar style shit-fucking-uppedness that takes a while to get done. That way lucas could hire Roland Emmerich to film his own 40-minute disaster style sequence of Alderaan geting its ass handed to it.

Someone point the Death Star toward the Hotel this fuck works at.

 

[LMP]

Someone point the Death Star toward the Hotel this fuck works at.

Lance's Mom's Brothel... you will never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

 

[bono_212]

They're re-doing Star Tours at Disney in the next year or so. Instead of Pee-wee Herman fucking up a trip to Endor, instead you get chased by Boba Fett while ADMIRAL ACKBAR speaks to you on the ride.

Holy fuck.

Serious? I haven't had an urge to go back to Disney, but for this, I might have to change my mind.

 

[No spoken words]

Serious? I haven't had an urge to go back to Disney, but for this, I might have to change my mind.

You don't have the $$$ for a CD, but you're gonna head on down to Disney for a new ride? What do you think Yoda would say about that?

 

[bono_212]

You don't have the $$$ for a CD, but you're gonna head on down to Disney for a new ride? What do you think Yoda would say about that?

He said years from now. If I still don't have money for a cd by then, I'll be quite disappointed.

No, I more or less just meant in the life of the home here, I am finally on board a Disney vacation, if of course such a thing is even a possibility for me by then.

 

[LMP]

Serious? I haven't had an urge to go back to Disney, but for this, I might have to change my mind.

Secret Star Wars Production Shooting in Hollywood | /Film

And the new Toy Story ride is an absolute blast.

Don't you when it'll open... but it's definitely trying to compete with the Harry Potter section opening at Universal soon.

 

[No spoken words]

He said years from now. If I still don't have money for a cd by then, I'll be quite disappointed.

No, I more or less just meant in the life of the home here, I am finally on board a Disney vacation, if of course such a thing is even a possibility for me by then.

Start saving now.

 

[bono_212]

Secret Star Wars Production Shooting in Hollywood | /Film

And the new Toy Story ride is an absolute blast.

Don't you when it'll open... but it's definitely trying to compete with the Harry Potter section opening at Universal soon.

That all seems pretty cool. We've been wanting to take my little brother to that whole area for the last couple years, but we just haven't been sure if he was old enough yet (My sister and I went when we were 8 and 4 and it really wasn't a good idea). He's going to love the sound of both of those.

 

[Lancemc]

Someone point the Death Star toward the Hotel this fuck works at.

DUUUURRRRRR, Mike. The Death Star would blow up the whole planet and you'd die too, DUUUURRRRRRRRR. You fool! DURRRRRRRRRR!

 

[LMP]

Oh yeah, Universal and Islands of Adventure are an absolute blast. The old Earthquake ride at Universal was replaced by a disaster movie spoof with Christopher Walken in it. That shit makes me smile.

I'm actually planning to take the Lady Friend out to CityWalk sometime this weekend, eat at Bubba Gump or something.

 

[Reggo]

Time for a new thread. And thanks for your answers, guys. I think i'm ready to try to watch these again.

 

[Lancemc]

Oh yeah, Universal and Islands of Adventure are an absolute blast. The old Earthquake ride at Universal was replaced by a disaster movie spoof with Christopher Walken in it. That shit makes me smile.

That's a bit sad. Earthquake was one of my favorite attractions at Universal. Of course, the one time I went there was like 12 years ago, so I'm sure things have gotten a bit more interesting since then. But still. Good memories there.

 

[bono_212]

Oh yeah, Universal and Islands of Adventure are an absolute blast. The old Earthquake ride at Universal was replaced by a disaster movie spoof with Christopher Walken in it. That shit makes me smile.

I'm actually planning to take the Lady Friend out to CityWalk sometime this weekend, eat at Bubba Gump or something.

They replaced the Back to the Future ride as well, right? I really had fond memories of all of that, including the little movie you watched in the line, good times.

I almost went to Bubba Gump's last week, but Forrest was charging far more for his shrimp than I anticipated.