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Old 09-12-2002, 06:50 AM   #1
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wink She Shower, He Shower..

i. How to Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see your partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note - must do more sit-ups.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).
Shave armpits and legs.
Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your partner flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
Turn off the shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray anti-mould solution on spots on shower walls.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit.
Tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see
your partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom.
Spend and hour and a half getting dressed.

ii. How to Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake dick at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pects (no).
Admire the size of your dick in the mirror and scratch your ass.
Fart.
Get in the shower.
Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
Pee (in the shower).
Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off.
Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, and admire dick size
again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake dick at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed.
Get dressed in under two minutes.
Fart.
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Old 09-12-2002, 07:02 AM   #2
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its like you've known me all my life!
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Old 09-12-2002, 07:11 AM   #3
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tell that to the chick who wrote it, buddy

shower mohawks and devil horns are fun
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Old 09-12-2002, 07:46 AM   #4
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really?
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Old 09-12-2002, 07:55 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cowgirl
tell that to the chick who wrote it, buddy
Yeah, and tell her she forgot the part about 'spanking the monkey' too.

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Old 09-12-2002, 11:12 AM   #6
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Quote:
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
baaaaaahahahaha this is SO true!

i never knew such large towels existed before i moved onto an all-girls floor in the dorms.
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Old 09-12-2002, 11:46 AM   #7
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Re: She Shower, He Shower..

Quote:
Originally posted by Cowgirl

If you see your wife along the way, shake dick at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.


I thought this only happened at my house
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Old 09-12-2002, 12:35 PM   #8
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Old 09-12-2002, 01:49 PM   #9
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Old 09-12-2002, 01:54 PM   #10
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Old 09-12-2002, 02:23 PM   #11
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Old 09-12-2002, 02:27 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by DrTeeth


Yeah, and tell her she forgot the part about 'spanking the monkey' too.

Why, DrTeeth, you have scandalized me!!!!

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Old 09-12-2002, 03:27 PM   #13
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hahah... I got that email soooo long ago, I had forgotten entirely how funny it was until I read the first 3 sentances and went omb i remember this!!! wooo!!!
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Old 09-12-2002, 04:54 PM   #14
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hahaahaha..so true...
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Old 09-12-2002, 06:21 PM   #15
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very very true

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