Serious Poll For NonVirgin Women re Promiscuity..motives ect

[diamond]

I once was madly in love w a woman.
She was beautiful.
She was professional successful on the surface together
Owned 2 homes made 6 figures ect

She confided in me though this- That independent women /girls that sleep around CLAIMING it is ONLY for sex..is basically a lie.
A myth.
The whole Sex In The City mentality is really not true...
Girls want a man to b head over heels for them once they decide to sleep w them.
This made me THINK alot
So is this true or not?

Oh we ended up breaking up after 3 months cuz of a drug addiction she had..plus she said I was a lousy lay.
I did get some free tickects to U2 Phx Show April 2001 out of her(GCs!) where Bono waved at me during NYD..before he even met me
She was busy dancing w other fellows but I did not care..
I was in Bono's house

So please vote and reply if you wish.
thank you-
diamond

 

[DrTeeth]

Although I am a man, I voted yes. Sometimes, women look almost human...

 

[ghetofabu]

I think some are.

*runs from thead before Sicy catchs me here*

 

[Sicy]

please post more sex threads there arent enough

 

[DrTeeth]

Okay, who voted 'No'?

And relax Sicy, who else is gonna guide Hoo Hah through puberty?

 

[Sicy]

I did you got beef?

 

[diamond]

Dr Teeth-
altho u could b a bit sexy ..u r not a nonvirgin girl or woman..
what r u doing in here?
thank u
db9

 

[joyfulgirl]

Diamond, I agree with your lady friend.

I love "Sex & the City" but I have never known American women whose views on sex are even remotely like that of those characters. Never. And I'm old and I've been around and talked about sex a lot with women and lived in NYC for 15 years (which of course still doesn't mean I'm right--just my experience, though).

Which is not to say that I'm all moralistic about sex by any means--I wish we women were freer about it, but in my experience it isn't normally the case. Of course, I know a lot of women who experiment with casual sex and can have the occasional fun romp in the hay with someone they don't know, but more often than not it is unsatisfying all around--sometimes even traumatic.

I also think European women might have a different kind of attitude and openness about sex than American women, speaking very generally, but I don't have any real evidence or well-thought-out theory about it, just kind of a vague perception.

plus she said I was a lousy lay.
too much information

 

[diamond]

Diamond, I agree with your lady friend.

I love "Sex & the City" but I have never known American women whose views on sex are even remotely like that of those characters. Never. I also think European women might have a different kind of attitude and openness it, just kind of a vague perception.

plus she said I was a lousy lay.
too much information

Cool.
Thx for your response
I will call my travel agent
Lousy lay part was a joke..btw

DB9

 

[ghetofabu]

 

[joyfulgirl]

Lousy lay part was a joke..btw

DB9

yeah...rrright

Let me just add that I think women like on Sex & the City probably are out there, but that they are rare.

 

[Ana]

Quick Question:

Can a person really have sex with another one without involving romantic feelings?

 

[thefrenchgoddess]

sex and the city a myth?? i think not

Diamond, I agree with your lady friend.

I love "Sex & the City" but I have never known American women whose views on sex are even remotely like that of those characters. Never. And I'm old and I've been around and talked about sex a lot with women and lived in NYC for 15 years (which of course still doesn't mean I'm right--just my experience, though).

Which is not to say that I'm all moralistic about sex by any means--I wish we women were freer about it, but in my experience it isn't normally the case. Of course, I know a lot of women who experiment with casual sex and can have the occasional fun romp in the hay with someone they don't know, but more often than not it is unsatisfying all around--sometimes even traumatic.

I also think European women might have a different kind of attitude and openness about sex than American women, speaking very generally, but I don't have any real evidence or well-thought-out theory about it, just kind of a vague perception.

plus she said I was a lousy lay.
too much information

um, i really have to disagree with this... maybe its traumatic for some women to have casual sex, but i can think of a lot of men who also have a hard time not involving feelings with sex. I think it depends on your personality.... and what you want and if anything i think casual sex is becoming more of a norm for women because their lives dont revolve around marriage but rather many focus on their career and have a hard time balancing a job with a relationship... and casual sex is easy with no commitments...

im not saying every woman is like Carrie Bradshaw, but Id hardly call Sex and the City a myth....

 

[Bonochick]

Re: Quick Question:

Can a person really have sex with another one without involving romantic feelings?

Yes.

To me, sex involving romantic feelings is considered making love...that's different from sex.

I never want to have just sex; I only want to make love.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Re: sex and the city a myth?? i think not

um, i really have to disagree with this... maybe its traumatic for some women to have casual sex, but i can think of a lot of men who also have a hard time not involving feelings with sex. I think it depends on your personality.... and what you want and if anything i think casual sex is becoming more of a norm for women because their lives dont revolve around marriage but rather many focus on their career and have a hard time balancing a job with a relationship... and casual sex is easy with no commitments...

im not saying every woman is like Carrie Bradshaw, but Id hardly call Sex and the City a myth....

Sorry, but you cannot disagree with my experience because it is my experience! j/k--but seriously, I think I tried to make it clear that I was speaking in generalities and that there are of course exceptions, and later I added that:

Let me just add that I think women like on Sex & the City probably are out there, but that they are rare.

I also think that men are able to have casual sex more freely than women because it's about the actual pleasure of sex. I honestly think sex is more complicated for women in our society because of social norms, the frequency of sexual assault and abuse (1 in 6 women are sexually assaulted in America in their lifetime, usually by people they know) so sex isn't just about pleasure for women (except within a loving relationship), it's too often about power and misuse of power, etc. In other words, society simply does not make it all that easy for women to be sexual beings without guilt, without labels of 'slut', etc. I really would like to see that change in my lifetime. And maybe you're right about it changing--I'm from a different generation than most of you although I don't know how old you are--but perhaps the 20+ generation today is having more fun with sex. I think in general, America is sexually dysfunctional.

 

[Dub]

Before I vote, are you looking for our own, personal attitude, or womenkind in general all over this planet?

 

[ghetofabu]

Re: Quick Question:

Can a person really have sex with another one without involving romantic feelings?

yes

 

[Sicy]

Re: Re: Quick Question:

I never want to have just sex; I only want to make love.

That's beautiful.

 

[Peaseblossom]

I think it's definately possible for a woman to be into random/non-=committal sex, I've known some. I just don't happen to be one of them.

Sometimes I wish I could be. I could really use some action right about now.

 

[Bonochick]

Re: Re: Re: Quick Question:

That's beautiful.

Why the ?

 

[diamond]

Before I vote, are you looking for our own, personal attitude, or womenkind in general all over this planet?

in general
db9

 

[Ana]

Re: Re: Quick Question:

yes

That I want to experience

 

[Angel]

resident whore checking in...

Ok... the answer is yes! Of course it is yes. Not like every weekend, or every month or anything, but sure!

My feelings re. men--> I am picky. I don't like to just jump into a relationship with anyone. My time is valuable and my heart is sacred. However, does this mean I have to remain celebate during the off seasons? There is nothing wrong with the odd non-committal act of sex. If you are careful, responsible, and emotionally strong, then I say get some action. Non-comittal sex IMO, is way less emotionally damaging and moral, then people who jump from relationship to relationship.

Flame me, I don't care. Alot of you take sex WAY too seriously. I am not ashamed. I have no regrets. Now, if I am in love with you, I'll probably make you wait months.

 

[BAW]

I know a few women who claim that they prefer casual sex with no commitment but they are also very unhappy, negative people who use drugs and alcohol, probably in the same way they use sex to make themselved feel better.

I'm not saying that all women who do this are unhappy, just the ones I'm acquainted with.

Now, deep dark secret time. After my first divorce, I was pretty down on men and REALLY pissed at my ex-husband. I decided I would sleep with a friend of ours who my ex always accused of being interested in me and I would make sure he found out about it.

The guy was only 19 (I was 22 I think) and I invited him over, fully planning to seduce him once and that would be the end of it. It all went according to plan.. I seduced and he spent the night. But a funny thing happend the next morning. He told me he loved me! (I know, it was lust). To make a long story short, he didn't leave for the next 2 months other than to go to work and to pick up clothes at his mom's house.

It didn't work out because he was too immature but it proved to me that I couldn't be like a guy and sleep with someone without a relationship or feelings.

 

[joyfulgirl]

I know a few women who claim that they prefer casual sex with no commitment but they are also very unhappy, negative people who use drugs and alcohol, probably in the same way they use sex to make themselved feel better.

this was part of a point I was trying to make...not so much about women who engage in casual sex tending to be negative, but rather that for women the pursuit of casual sex usually isn't about the pursuit of simple sexual pleasure. It's about something else. Loneliness, looking for love, often low self-esteem except for people like Angel who dig sex and have a healthy self-image (you go girl!), etc. For men (and correct me if I'm wrong, guys) it's not that they are only interested in sexual pleasure with regard to casual sex, but that it's easier for them to enjoy it in that way. Certainly there are men who approach sex more the way the typical woman does (i.e., emotional connection) and there are women like Angel who like to 'get some action during the off-season' as she says...and this is great. I just tend to think that with women it's the exception rather than the norm in terms of getting some kind of real satisfaction from it. And I apologize if this all sounds stereotypical.

 

[Angel]

Ok, I am done with the sex threads...

...and there are women like Angel who like to 'get some action during the off-season' as she says...and this is great.

Oh I sound so horrible!!! I really am not a slut that sleeps around... I guess I just don't feel the need to be a born again virgin just 'cause I haven't fallen in love recently. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a virgin!!!!) I dunno... I know I am rare... my friends have said so (particularly my guy friends). I would prefer to be in a relationship, but... you can't always get what you want, so you go for the next best thing Oh my....

One last thing.... For the record--> it has been awhile.

 

[Bono's shades]

I don't think women in general, at least the ones I know, are into random casual sex. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. For example, one of my college roomates made the women on Sex and the City look like nuns. But like the women Bono's American Wife mentioned, she was not a happy person and abused alcohol and sometimes drugs to make herself feel better, and may have been using sex in the same way.

As for me personally, I believe the phrase "casual sex" is an oxymoron. I just don't understand how people can share something so intimate with someone they never plan to see again. And I don't think I'm some sexually repressed, dysfunctional person for feeling that way.

 

[BAW]

Re: Ok, I am done with the sex threads...

Oh I sound so horrible!!! I really am not a slut that sleeps around... I guess I just don't feel the need to be a born again virgin just 'cause I haven't fallen in love recently. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a virgin!!!!) I dunno... I know I am rare... my friends have said so (particularly my guy friends). I would prefer to be in a relationship, but... you can't always get what you want, so you go for the next best thing Oh my....

One last thing.... For the record--> it has been awhile.

You're not a slut Angel! You sound like you have good self-esteem and a healthy attitude towards sex. I know women like you do exist but are rare and I've never met one. I kind of wish I could have been like you when I was single Everytime I had sex with someone, I ended up in a relationship, and more times than not, it was a bad one.

 

[~LadyLemon~]

One of my friends slept with 9 different guys in a span of two weeks. I wish I were joking...

 

[Angel]

One of my friends slept with 9 different guys in a span of two weeks. I wish I were joking...

never done that.