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Old 02-18-2004, 05:52 PM   #1
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http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1976
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Old 02-18-2004, 05:59 PM   #2
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"Polyphonic Spree: What the fuck?
-Kaijin Noodle


Lots of bands annoy me, but Polyphonic Spree is one of the only bands that really scares me. In case people out there haven't heard of them, they're what you'd get if you crossed the Partridge Family with Heaven's Gate. It's some sort of a band/cult/hippie commune that plays uplifting, energetic, highly disturbing music. It's sort of like Spiritualized, but instead of songs about heroin you get songs about non-specific spiritual enlightenment. If some guys in robes ever corner you in a dark alley and ask if you want to join a band, kill as many as possible and run away as fast as your legs can carry you"

Joining the Polyphonic Spree is my dream.
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Old 02-18-2004, 07:06 PM   #3
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I saw a TV commercial for some album by the Polyphonic Spree. I thought I was watching one of those "fake" commercials SNL does - there is no way anything that horrifically cheesey could be real!
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Old 02-18-2004, 09:51 PM   #4
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Haha, some of those are funny. Some hurt my feelings.
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Old 02-19-2004, 12:41 AM   #5
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most of them hurt my feelings

just kidding, i don' t have feelings. but i did laugh quite a lot about this one:

Who's better? Sex Pistols or The Clash?

The traditional answer to this question is that if you're looking for actual musical merit, you'd go for the Clash. However, not being a traditionalist, I'm going to tell you that if you're looking for actual musical merit you wouldn't be listening to punk music.
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Old 02-19-2004, 01:12 AM   #6
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What are your views on the rock and roll god Wesley Willis?
-Descendant

If I wanted to listen to a retard tunelessly howling about who or what he had sex with I'd listen to Limp Bizkit.


That one really made me crack up! Good stuff.
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Old 02-19-2004, 01:20 AM   #7
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Despite anything bad he may say, he has my total respect for this one:

"If you could smite one person/band from the musical scene, who would it be and why?
Male version of Cher?

- Faaip De Oaid


I'm sure you'll be disappointed that I'm not picking some audacious and daring option like Jack White or Thom Yorke, but I have to be honest with you and with myself. I'd definitely smite the lead singer of Nickelback, who looks like a greased Canadian Jesus and sings heartfelt, gravelly-voiced odes to tough, manly love affairs. This website is usually above printing lowbrow potty-humor, but I must admit that his straining voice makes it difficult to avoid imagining that he does his best studio vocal work while on the toilet working out a particularly complicated intestinal blockage."
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Old 02-19-2004, 02:02 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by jkayet
This website is usually above printing lowbrow potty-humor, but I must admit that his straining voice makes it difficult to avoid imagining that he does his best studio vocal work while on the toilet working out a particularly complicated intestinal blockage."
...you know, now that he mentions it......

Wonder what he has to say about U2?

Angela
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Old 02-19-2004, 08:45 AM   #9
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U2 is so far below "SomethingAwful" - they don't even get mentioned anymore.
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Old 02-19-2004, 09:33 AM   #10
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Why do Kurt Cobain and Jack White get on 'best guitarist' lists?
-swander


I assume you're talking about the surrealistic farce that appeared in Rolling Stone magazine. When reading it, one could tell that Rolling Stone employed a few cool old dudes who knew their stuff and threw in people like John Cipollina and Tom Verlaine, but their staff mostly consisted of the sort of people who decide to put Britney Spears on the cover of what was once considered a reputable rock magazine. The decisions to include Jack White and Kurt Cobain probably went something along the lines of "hey, Jack White plays the guitar, he's so hot right now!" and "well, Kurt Cobain was technically a guitarist, and mentioning Nirvana still sells copies to the generation-X unemployed stoner demographic." My question to you is this: why would anyone in their right mind still read that disgusting, worthless rag?


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Old 02-19-2004, 09:39 PM   #11
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SA

i just ordered an SA license plate frame.
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Old 02-20-2004, 12:02 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stories for Boys
most of them hurt my feelings

just kidding, i don' t have feelings. but i did laugh quite a lot about this one:

Who's better? Sex Pistols or The Clash?

The traditional answer to this question is that if you're looking for actual musical merit, you'd go for the Clash. However, not being a traditionalist, I'm going to tell you that if you're looking for actual musical merit you wouldn't be listening to punk music.
blah....i wish i had a dollar for how many times i've heard people use that as a valid arguement

mr thorpe looks vaugly like morrissey. only without the hair.


now this on the other hand is funny!
Quote:

Why didn't that guy from Drowning Pool choke and die on his own vomit sooner?
-jaym


Is that what happened to him? If so, I have no idea why it didn't happen sooner. It seems like it was a long time coming. He affected such a stupid back-of-the-throat growly voice that one would imagine he would be unintentionally tripping his gag reflex all the time during the normal course of singing. For this reason, I'd imagine he'd be used to throwing up constantly and would have worked out some sort of system for avoiding inhalation.


edit cos i have copy and paste issues...
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Old 02-20-2004, 05:57 AM   #13
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Anyone who insults Tom Yorke and Jack White is okay with me.
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Old 02-20-2004, 05:35 PM   #14
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Fantastic.
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