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Old 10-03-2002, 08:46 AM   #1
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Researchers find the world's funniest joke

It’s Official: The World’s Funniest Joke

By Corey Ullman

L O N D O N, Oct. 3 — After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world's funniest joke was revealed today.

In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people's offerings.

More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and 2 million critiques later, this is it:

"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

National Tastes, or Lack Thereof

Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.

People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:

PATIENT: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."

DOCTOR: "I've got some cream for that."

Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid.

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"

HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

TEXAN: "OK — where are you from, jackass?"

Europeans Dig Surreal Gags

Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'

"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."'

Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:

"A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

"He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'

"The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."'

In Scotland, Death Earns Laughs

Death earned big laughs in Scotland:

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

And animals figured prominently. Take the No. 1 joke in England:

"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'

"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.

"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'

"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk."'

Germans Laugh Most

The survey revealed other fun facts:

Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.

If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.

The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick." Researchers said no one ever found it funny.

The findings can be read at

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Old 10-03-2002, 09:15 AM   #2
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I think Kobi and his pants are funny and they are both hail from the land of the Maple leaves.

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Old 10-03-2002, 09:19 AM   #3
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Old 10-03-2002, 09:48 AM   #4
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OK honestly the only one that made me laugh was the stick one

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Old 10-03-2002, 11:19 AM   #5
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lol I laughed to the one about the strawberry
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Old 10-03-2002, 11:53 AM   #6
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Old 10-03-2002, 01:34 PM   #7
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I think I'm a typical American and Oklahoman. The funniest one to me was the Texas/Harvard grad joke.
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Old 10-03-2002, 01:43 PM   #8
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haha, the joke i found the funniest was the strawberry one. maybe it's a sign i need to move to the uk?

also, i'm part german, on my mom's side, so it all makes sense why that side is always the one with all the jokes and stuff. my mom's family =

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Old 10-03-2002, 01:53 PM   #9
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well, i'm irish, and they don't have the "the irish like anything self-depricating" quote in there. but we do tend to like morbid jokes. heh, i liked the first one the best...make sure he's dead...

like i told april last week:

when irish eyes are smiling...they're up to something.

beware if i say that to you in conversation, right april?
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Old 10-03-2002, 02:31 PM   #10
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Hey, I thought the stick joke was pretty damn funny, but I have a very bizarre sense of humor.
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Old 10-03-2002, 03:39 PM   #11
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Yeah, I thought the "funniest" joke was pretty lame. The strawberry and "I slept with your mother!" ones were way funnier in my opinion.

And you poor Canadians who laugh the least!
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Old 10-03-2002, 03:56 PM   #12
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I liked the hunter one and the weasel one the best.
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Old 10-03-2002, 08:52 PM   #13
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You have it all wrong. The following is the greatest joke ever.

Q: What did the man say when he saw four elephants walking over a hill?

A: "Oh look, here come four elephants."

Q: What did the man say when he saw four elephants walking over a hill wearing shades?

A: Nothing. He didn't recognise them.

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Old 10-04-2002, 08:29 PM   #14
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I think the funniest joke in the world is the fact that there is a study to find the funniest joke in the world. Now THAT'S FUNNY!Why doesn't the British Association for the Advancement of Science go find a disease to cure, or find a way to clean their teeth!
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Old 10-04-2002, 09:17 PM   #15
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I liked the weasel one and the hunter one

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