So, there was this guy who tended the gardens and did some custodial work for this monastery. Every day at noon, he'd see one of the monks ascend to this room at the top of this tower at the monastery. He was really curious to find out what was inside that room. So one day he asks one of the monks, "hey, what's in that room at the top of the tower?"
The monk says, "Oh, I can't tell you, you're not a monk."
The custodian says, "Well, I really want to see what's inside that room at the top of the tower. How do I become a monk?"
The monk says, "Well, did you graduate from college?"
The custodian says, "No, I never went to college."
The monk says, "Well, we think it's a good idea for all monks to have a broad education before they enter the monastery, so you have to have a college education before you join the monastery."
So the custodian gets a bunch of applications and begins the process of applying to some of the most prestigious colleges in the world. Unfortunately, he doesn't get into any of them, so he decides to go to Yale.
The first year, he takes the ordinary classes you might expect a freshman to take--a course on western civilization, introductory economics, psychology, intro biology, et cetera. Being a really sharp athlete, he inquires about tryouts for some of Yale's teams. After three running backs blow out their ACLs in a game against Harvard, he is added to the team. And he has a lot of fun his freshman year.
Over the summer, he's back working at the monastery to fulfill his financial aid deal. Once again he sees a monk ascend the tower. He asks the monk, "Hey, what's inside the room at the top of the tower?"
The monk replies, "Oh, I can't tell you, you're not a monk."
Dejected, the custodian goes back to trimming the bushes.
In his second year at school, the custodian decides he wants to be a physics major, so he starts taking classes in wave mechanics, quantum mechanics and so forth. The football team almost goes undefeated on the year, their only loss coming at the hands of Brown. Brown scores a touchdown as time expires to pull to within 28-27. Brown attempts the extra point to tie the game and send it into overtime, but the custodian blocks the extra point. The kicker picks up the loose ball and runs it in for two points, giving Brown an amazing 29-28 victory.
During the summer, the custodian goes back to the monastery, where once he sees a different monk ascend the tower. He asks the monk, "Hey, what's in that room at the top of the tower?"
The monk replies, "Oh, I can't tell you, you're not a monk."
Dejected, the custodian goes back to mowing the lawn.
During his third year at Yale, the custodian has to take the dreaded upper-level undergraduate physics lab. Like all such labs, the experiments are horrible, and he quickly grows disgusted with physics and considers switching majors. He discusses it with his faculty advisor, who warns him that it could hold him back a year, but he decides to switch to a major in music.
Back at the monastery during the summer, he sees another monk ascend the tower. When the monk gets down, he asks him, "What's inside the room at the top of the tower?"
The monk replies, "Oh, I can't tell you, you're not a monk."
His fourth year at Yale, the custodian has to start a new major, so he takes all the music theory classes he can and does pretty well. He learns quite a bit about Gregorian chants and other such things that would be useful in the monastery.
Back at the monastery again for the summer, he sees another monk ascend the tower. When the monk gets down, he asks him, "What's in the room at the top of the tower?"
The monk replies, "Oh, I can't tell you, you're not a monk."
Back in school for his fifth and final year, the custodian spends much of his time working on a final project for his major. While other seniors are busy flying all over the country interviewing for jobs and spots in medical, law and graduate school, he can rest easy knowing he's going back to the monastery when he graduates.
Finally, he graduates from Yale and moves back to the monastery to join as a monk. The head of the monastery tells him, "before you can be initiated as a monk, you have to undergo a year of training. During this year of training, you will learn to pray and to meditate on the Scriptures."
So the custodian spends much of the year with his fellow initiates, praying and meditating and chanting, and with his training he starts composing some new chants for the monastery.
One year passes, and he is initiated into the monastery in a grand ceremony. The custodian asks the head of the monastery, "Excuse me Father, but could you tell me what's in the room at the top of the monastery?"
The head monk says, "My son, why don't you go up there and find out for yourself?"
So the custodian, now a new monk, runs up the stairs to the room at the top of the tower, turns the knob and finds that it's locked.
He runs back down the stairs, finds the head of the monastery, and asks him, "How do I get inside that room? It's locked."
The head monk says, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, it's locked. You need to have the key to get in."
So at the dining hall, the custodian asks around to find out who has the key, and eventually he finds it. He borrows the key, runs up the stairs to the room at the top of the tower, slips on a step, falls down the entire flight of stairs and suffers some nasty injuries.
Fortunately, some of his fellow monks found him lying unconscious at the base of the tower and immediately get him to a hospital. The doctors tell him that he's suffered some very serious head injuries, as well as a broken leg, and that he's going to be in the hospital for a while while the surgeons start inserting plates and screws inside his body. Furthermore, he's going to have to undergo a couple months of rehab before he's anywhere near ready to climb up a long flight of stairs.
Two months pass, and his leg finally feels well enough that he thinks he can climb the stairs. He grabs the key, starts climbing up the steps really carefully, one at a time. About 1000 steps later, he finally reaches the top of the tower, pulls out the key, unlocks the door, and walks inside.
