Pocket knife woes

[Not George Lucas]

So, I bought this pocketknife, y'see, and from all outward appearances, it looks like a quality tool. Then I tried using it for strange things that no pocketknife should ever do. For example, I used the bottle opener part to open a beer bottle. Ok, several beer bottles (no, they were not all mine), and it took at least two tries per bottle, and it bent. The nail file looks like someone just cut a dozen large grooves into the nail-file-shaped chunk of metal. The blade was pre-dulled for my safety. There's two saw blades, one of which looks like it's supposed to be a crude device for scaling fish, and the other would probably be much more effective as a comb. The tweezers are small and flimsy. The toothpick is also small and flimsy, and constantly falls out, unless, of course, you jam it in real good. No one's using that again. I haven't tried the can opener yet. The scissors are dull and don't fold in properly. The Philips screwdriver looks fine, but I haven't tried it. I haven't used the corkscrew either, since I don't really want it to break off in the cork. Then there's the leather punch. Ideally a leather puch is sort of shaped like a small blade with a long groove on the side and a hole, right? The one on this looks like someone got it started, but didn't know where to put the hole, and the top looked like as good a place as any. Then he went home early. Then there's the last part. It's shaped like a traditional leather punch, small, narrow, blade-shaped, only there's no groove, no hole, and it's not even trying to be sharp. It is a useless chunk of metal. I can't tell you how many times I've needed one of those. I remember going on those Boy Scout hikes, whipping out my pocketknife to rescue an injured raccoon, only to realize that the poor little Rocky's fate was sealed the day I bought that knife, because I neglected to get one with the useless chunk of metal. What in the hell?? It seems to me more and more, that this knife was a complete waste of dollar. I should have bought the green Galaxy Trooper instead.

--edit--

Spelling error.

 

[meegannie]

Is it wrong that I actually enjoyed this post?

 

[ABEL]

sorry NGL

when I read this thread, the first thing that pops to mind is the scene from the Crocodile Dundee movie, where Mick is about to be robbed and says:

"That's not a knife. This is a knife!"


I tried to find a pic of it but couldn't