Pet Owners: How to give your pet medication-Cats/Dogs... - U2 Feedback

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Old 02-19-2002, 05:29 PM   #1
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Pet Owners: How to give your pet medication-Cats/Dogs...

First -

HOW TO GIVE YOUR KITTY CAT A PILL-

Pick kitty up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As kittycat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and kitty from behind sofa. Cradle kitty in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle kitty in left arm holding rear paws tightly w/left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth w/right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from behind goldfish bowl and kitty cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor w/cat wedged firmly btween knees, hold front and rear paws. IGNORE low growls emitted by kitty. Get spouse to hold head FIRMLY w/one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail,fetch another pill from foil. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat w/head just visable from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, and force mouth open w/pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label and make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 brew to take taste away. Apply Band Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet w/cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Grab another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open w/dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat w/elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on. Drink brew. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot,drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanous shot. Apply whiskey to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw out tee shirt, fetch another one.

Ring fire birgade to retrieve cat from atop tree across the road. Apolgize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid kitty. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie little bastard's front paws to rear paws w/garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining rm table,find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down to wash pill down throat.

Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency rm.,sit quietly while Dr. stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters..

******************************************************************************************

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL-

WRAP IT IN BACON


Diamond

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[This message has been edited by Diamond The U2 Patriot (edited 02-19-2002).]
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Old 02-19-2002, 06:01 PM   #2
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My dog got so wise to pills he even ate around them in peanut butter and canned dog food, I mean even if it was powdered antibiotics!

I don't know why anyone would try to give a pill to a cat. Ask for liquid drops. Sneak up behind him, if he sees you he'll twist away. Hold his head up in the air backwards, pry his mouth open and squirt the medicine in as far as you can. Then run. He will sit there and lick his lips for awhile, and if any spills out his mouth he will lick that too. Cats are obsessive licker and will lick anything that is on them, even gross stuff. If you love your pet, you will always find a way. I have had an even harder time with my little daughter!
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Old 02-19-2002, 06:07 PM   #3
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LMAO. Great post, db9.

(Wow - I never thought I'd hear myself say that! )
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Old 02-19-2002, 06:13 PM   #4
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My dog is good. He eats it plain with no difficulty.

Melon

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Old 02-19-2002, 07:02 PM   #5
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So true!!! LOL

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Old 02-19-2002, 07:23 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by melon:
My dog is good. He eats it plain with no difficulty.

Melon

Melon-
That's because your dog was born Republican according to the offices of DimonInvestigations Inc.

DB9

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Old 02-19-2002, 07:24 PM   #7
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my cats won't even take liquid medication. we get like 1/3 of the liquid dose in their throat, then they jerk their head and the rest of the medicine goes all over us.
it also doesn't help that my mom is expecting me to hold the cat, keep it completely still, and hold their head back.
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Old 02-19-2002, 07:30 PM   #8
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tis OK DB, just a powerful memory, not your fault.She survived and had puppies.I just had that moment where I thought, goodness I've choked the dog.

[This message has been edited by cass (edited 02-19-2002).]
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Old 02-19-2002, 07:40 PM   #9
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So sorry Cass.

db9
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Old 02-19-2002, 07:45 PM   #10
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I've had to have fingers reattached thanks to cats!!!

Dogs'll spit em out too sometimes, but their mouths are bigger and easier to pop pills into.

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My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...

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Well tonight thank God it's them, instead of you...
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Old 02-19-2002, 07:47 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by Diamond The U2 Patriot:
Melon-
That's because your dog was born Republican according to the offices of DimonInvestigations Inc.

DB9

lol DB69!
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Old 02-20-2002, 01:30 AM   #12
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Maybe try a little tuna fish. Good Luck!
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Old 02-20-2002, 01:37 AM   #13
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Old 02-20-2002, 01:45 AM   #14
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That was hilarious! DB9, did you really write that?

Doubtful CK
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Old 02-20-2002, 12:34 PM   #15
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Chris K.
Please be quiet.

Thank You-
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