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Old 01-31-2005, 09:05 PM   #1
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personal advertisement

when your love lets you go, you only want love more even when love's not what you're looking for.

so here's a personal ad, please contact me if you're interested in love. i'll make all your wildest dreams come true.

----

swm in dead-end job seeks unattractive neurotic for mutual psychological torture, unsatisfying and uncomfortable sex, and co-dependency.

i enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

i can't stand movies, and the last album i bought was the starland vocal band's "from us to you - our very best bsides!".

i have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

i'm 23 but i look 40 and i feel 60.

you are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. in time you will become cold and hostile when i don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had.

bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and now want to take it slow with me.

my perfect night would include getting hammered in a shit-hole bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match.

i would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills.

no friendships whatsoever.

age unimportant, but i will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.

serious replies only, please.
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:12 PM   #2
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Is this from the voice of experience? Because, Christ, thats accurate
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:14 PM   #3
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[q]bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and now want to take it slow with me.

my perfect night would include getting hammered in a shit-hole bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match.[/q]

no thanks, I have already dated you.
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:15 PM   #4
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it's called lowering your expectations to a reasonable and highly unsatisfying level.
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:20 PM   #5
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You forgot:

"As I like to use my car as a mobile rubbish dump you will be expected to sit on filth with your feet on the dashboard"
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:23 PM   #6
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but you assume i have a car in the first place.
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:24 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zoomerang96
but you assume i have a car in the first place.
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:39 PM   #8
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now i remember you own me a orgasm...lol...
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:41 PM   #9
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Hot.







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Old 01-31-2005, 09:49 PM   #10
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own you?
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:50 PM   #11
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oh by the way, is elvis presley happy now? no?

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Old 01-31-2005, 09:51 PM   #12
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you had me at pornography.
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:53 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by bonosgirl84
you had me at pornography.
even if i wear white pants?
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:56 PM   #14
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Do you have to start a new thread every single night?

merge
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Old 01-31-2005, 09:56 PM   #15
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i prefer my pornography without pants, so...no.
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