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Old 12-03-2002, 05:42 PM   #1
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Opposites attract right....but..........

what about people who aren't opposites?
Do you beLIEve there is truth in that?
What if they are exactly the same.
It can work, right?
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Old 12-03-2002, 05:48 PM   #2
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There is NO WAY I'd want to date someone EXACTLY like me.

I piss myself off enough as it is.

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Old 12-03-2002, 05:50 PM   #3
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This is an interesting topic. I will think on it and post a response.
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Old 12-03-2002, 06:21 PM   #4
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Sure, that can work. If you're narcissistic. I know one such couple (several, actually, but one in particular). I adore them. But they are both incredibly narcissistic, and they would be the first to admit it, and thus they are madly in love with each other. They sit around drinking tea and analyzing themselves by looking at the mirror image of themselves in each other. It works amazingly well but if I didn't like them so much, and if they weren't so aware of it and the first to joke about it, it would drive me a bit crazy.

I think opposites attract, though, because most people are drawn to those who have qualities that they themselves lack and would like to develop. I tend to be more quiet, self-sufficient, responsible and laid-back so I am naturally surrounded by a freak show of extremely wild, extroverted and slightly reckless people who make me laugh. They bring me out of my shell, and I help ground them. They like to be onstage, I like to be in the audience. Works like magic.
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Old 12-03-2002, 06:36 PM   #5
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I think I would be completely annoyed by a guy that was just like me.

I know my faults so I am able to tone them down....and I have seen my faults in other people and it drives me nuts.
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Old 12-03-2002, 06:39 PM   #6
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I think it can work, as long as you respect each other. My husband and I are very much alike, and are in our 14th happy year. Opposites surely attract, but can they stay together?

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Old 12-03-2002, 06:41 PM   #7
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Are you talking about someone who has all the same *interests* as you, or someone who has all your faults and personality peculiarities? Being with someone who was like me personality-wise would drive me up the wall!
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Old 12-03-2002, 06:57 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by najeena
Opposites surely attract, but can they stay together?
Sure they can! If their differences complement each other, it can really work. I know many very long-term happy relationships of seemingly opposite personalities but with many shared interests. In fact, I would say this scenario makes up by far the largest percentage of the happy/healthy long-term relationships in my life.

As U2Lynne brought up, I interpreted the original question here as being about people with the same personalities/peculiarities and not just the same interests. The narcissistic couple I mentioned above have almost identical personalities. They're very intense to be around. But it works for them. But I need someone with a very different outer personality than mine but with shared interests and similar core values to get that spark going and lasting.
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Old 12-03-2002, 07:04 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by U2Lynne
Are you talking about someone who has all the same *interests* as you, or someone who has all your faults and personality peculiarities? Being with someone who was like me personality-wise would drive me up the wall!
Same personality, same interests; it's like he's the male version of me.

You know, as far as annoying each other, I'm not annoyed yet, but that doesn't mean anything......the more I get to know him, it may change. I wonder if I annoy him.

Actually, we kind of build on each other.
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Old 12-03-2002, 07:32 PM   #10
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I could never be with someone exactly like me...one of us would end up killing the other one.
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Old 12-03-2002, 07:37 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by najeena
I think it can work, as long as you respect each other. My husband and I are very much alike, and are in our 14th happy year. Opposites surely attract, but can they stay together?

Najeena
I think where personalities are concerned, similarities attract and they certainly have longevity.
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Old 12-03-2002, 07:39 PM   #12
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I think it definitely helps to have opposite qualities in some areas to balance each other out - 2 spenders can be dangerous, 2 savers can be boring, for example. My husband is MUCH more outgoing then I am, he helps to pull me out of my wall-flower-ness. I think what matters most is having similar values and core beliefs, if that's not there you will be banging heads all the time.
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Old 12-03-2002, 07:43 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by bonosloveslave
I think it definitely helps to have opposite qualities in some areas to balance each other out - 2 spenders can be dangerous, 2 savers can be boring, for example. My husband is MUCH more outgoing then I am, he helps to pull me out of my wall-flower-ness. I think what matters most is having similar values and core beliefs, if that's not there you will be banging heads all the time.
Exactly!
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Old 12-03-2002, 08:08 PM   #14
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Remember that one "Seinfeld" where Jerry got engaged to that woman who was just like him...then he realized that's why he couldn't be with her. He's like, "I can't be with somebody like myself! I hate myself!"

It would be annoying and boring to be exactly the same...differences are great, but you do need a little common ground to keep it together.
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Old 12-04-2002, 02:18 PM   #15
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