nothing terribly new here

[Zoomerang96]

i really need some opinions.

its about priority number 1. she finally was working today and i went through her till and i simply didnt execute. i seemed fine but i didnt even has how she was. i said here and thank you, i think. and u2 when she said to have a nice day.

shes onto me though. i could sense it on her. my friend keeps saying stuff at her from a distance like "priority number 1 your hot!" and so forth.

she knows im friends with him. surely she knows im up to no good.

so lately ive been mulling over material to talk to her about. im going to blitzkrieg her ass with a ton of my special "a" material.

check this out:

1. formalities aside of hello and what not.

2. a previous time i pretty much yelled at her and her bagger for not having a bigger jones soda selection. i told her to write that in their journal of store improvements (ofcourse no such thing exists). well next time im going to ask how she made out with that, and whats taking so long getting the brand new "fun" flavour in.

3. then, (she works at a place called Penner IGA, or just Penners) i will ask her casually... "so you work at penners...eh?"

obviously.

4. heres the killer. my friend though about it today. im going to ask her where the suggest box is. then i will proceed to ask where the "lost and found" is located.

all this WHILE BEING RECORDED BY MY AUDIO RECORDER FROM WORK. if i try to lame this whole thing up, i think i might have a better chance of loostening up or something.

me and my friend have dubbed this mission "operation panama"

its code name is "picnic"

i trust you wont tell her.

so anyway, after we record the bugger, (she ofcourse wont know im recording it) we will analyze everything and proceed from that point. im great at espionage, ciiii?!?!!?!?

do you have any other things i could say to her?

should i be mad at her the whole time?

its a good move i think.

let me know PLEASE...i think i will try to execute "picnic" tommorow afternoon.

 

[The Wanderer]

tell her about the new radiohead mp3s, just to impress her some, then ask her if she likes pure water, and quote my signature, but don't tell her you didn't write it

 

[Zoomerang96]

good idea.

someone else aslo said i should give her a list of items i need, and get her to pick them off the shelves.

thats a good move. girls like that.

oh and thanks to all you asses that are viewing this thread and arent replying, thanks alot for your silent input.

i always reply.

always.

never.

 

[Angel]

oh bear

How about..... would you like to go for coffee some time?

If that fails.... the operation panama sounds very good.

*I like the way yo call her priority one.

 

[Zoomerang96]

thanks angel for your help, but i cant really look her in the eye.

she is a force to be reckoned with, why do you think im mad at her all the time? same with dentist office.

i saw dentist office today and i gave her a very rock and roll cold shoulder. it felt good.

she thinks im a creep cause i dont talk to her, her friend tells me. ill talk to her alright, ill talk to her on her face!

thats been well-played out here at interference, im sorry i ever brought that phrase to the board.

i cant wait for tommorow.

although i do have to shave.

 

[Angel]

I can't help you. I am out of creativity tonight. Have a good one and for bear's sake, be yourself. It works for me. Though being weird is being yourself. *Sigh... One day, someone is gonna fall hard for you.

 

[Stories for Boys]

don't kill yourself over this.....just do it

i'm with angel on this one.................

 

[The Wanderer]

argue with her about the prices, if she argues back demand to see her manager

 

[kariatari]

Ummm...yeah. Maybe you could catch her off guard and maybe look into her eyes flash a devastatingly handsome smile at her. People always wonder what you're up to when you smile for no reason.

Em...just curious, but do you know priority number one's name?

 

[Zoomerang96]

one person did fall for me and we dated for two months.

unfortunately they fell for me because they tripped on reality. i didnt like her much either. we are still friends.

thanks angel, for the nice words.

im trying to make light of this terrible situation im in, cause really, ever since i got dumped 4 years ago (july 24 was the day) i cannot approach anyone. its annoyingly hard. i can be an ass to them but i cannot for the life of me come across as being serious about anything.

that is, to strangers. i have many great girlfriends, but its different cause i already know them.

bah.

lets go for a picnic.

 

[Zoomerang96]

Ummm...yeah. Maybe you could catch her off guard and maybe look into her eyes flash a devastatingly handsome smile at her. People always wonder what you're up to when you smile for no reason.

Em...just curious, but do you know priority number one's name?

yes, i do know her name. but for military purposes, weve chosen to give all prospects secret code names.

i dont know how to smile.

thanks for the advice though kari!

wanderer, i serious laughed when i read that. thats pure gold, gold jerry! gold!!

i will pull out all the stops one day.

lets go for a picnic.

 

[kariatari]

*packs her red checked blanket, some PB&J, bananas, gummi bears, and formaldehyde

 

[Zoomerang96]

*packs her....formaldehyde

lol!

 

[kariatari]

i dont know how to smile.

so umm...you know how to "LOL", but you can't smile??

Ask her if/where she goes to school. (If you don't know already anyway...)

Ummm....you could buy something new (like that nasty Pepsi Blue) and ask her if she's tried it yet and tell her that if you don't like it then you are going to blame her and you will come back for a full refund.

 

[Zoomerang96]

i could do that, indeed.

i do know where she goes to school, cause we only have one high school. its not the biggest of towns. everyone knows everyone.

that can be good and bad. just like everything else.

i really like the idea of yelling at her and blaming her for things.

 

[Sicy]

whatever happened to a nice smile and a hello

I really dont think you should yell at her.

 

[Zoomerang96]

ill tell you what happened to a nice smile and hello

theyre so old-school. girls these days are looking for cutting-edge techniques in approachment. i will not let her down. she will never be approached like this by anyone ever.

some skank at a club a few weeks ago said there is noone in la like me. she didnt say if that was a good thing. she is from la.

i feel special.

i wont actually yell at her.

 

[Sicy]

Well that's no shocker.. the majority of the people in la are fake and phoney.

You're not.

In real life .. that is.. I think.

yeah.

 

[kariatari]

What Sicy said. Yelling bears = bad idea.

But you can still tease her.

 

[Zoomerang96]

ill tease her until she cries.

then ill know ive gone to far.

then ill start again.

and stop before shed start to cry again.

its called progress.

or R and D.

 

[kariatari]

Re: ill tell you what happened to a nice smile and hello

girls these days are looking for cutting-edge techniques in approachment.

NO no no! Most guys who try the "cutting-edge techniques" come across as hilariously cheesy. (Hilarious in a bad way.)

 

[kariatari]

WTF is R and D?

 

[Zoomerang96]

r and d = research and development.

i am the king of cheese.

i will never vote for salome.

 

[mocool12]

Accidentally drop something to display your buttocks. Grunt a lot while doing it! can't forget that...

 

[kariatari]

Thanks for the clarification. I would vote for salome. Cheese sucks ass. Unless it's the Pepper Jack kind. Are you the king of Pepper Jack cheese?

 

[Zoomerang96]

i might be. i might not be. im jonny titelips.

im alot of things.

the displaying of buttoxes is a good move, especially the grunting. good play.

 

[ABEL]

oh and thanks to all you asses that are viewing this thread and arent replying, thanks alot for your silent input.

sorry I don't really have anything to add here, but I just didn't want to be one of those silent lurkers

 

[Zoomerang96]

thank you abel.

 

[The Wanderer]

maybe you could buy her something from the lingerie section? make sure you buy something 3 or 4 sizes too big though, then say, oh you lost weight, or buy something several sizes too small, then say oh you must have gained weight, that will make her feel good about herself and you can comfort her

 

[kariatari]

You may find this article helpful...

Bear Mating

The whole mating process starts in mid-May to mid-June. From afar, scientists have watched grizzly bear courtship and copulation in the wild. They believe that in springtime, females leave scent trails for wandering males to follow. Such trails may be the key to finding a female bear in areas where grizzly populations are at very low densities. When a male finds a female, the process of getting to know one another begins. At any other time of the year, grizzly bears are solitary creatures that will avoid close encounters with other bears, especially large adult males. During mating season, however, solitary bears let down their guard a little although not for long.

Not surprisingly, male and female grizzly bears usually spend at least a few days testing one another before mating occurs. This type of interaction is important when getting to know an animal that is strong enough to injure or even kill you. The two bears may chase each other, play fight or even nuzzle and lick each other once they are aquainted. The outcome of this process may be rejection or the formation of a pair bond that lasts from several days to a couple of weeks.

Male grizzly bears have been seen "herding" females onto mountain tops. In doing so, a male is able to isolate a female so that her scent does not attract other bears. In Banff National Park, a male bear kept a female confined within a 2 to 3 hectare mating area for 13 days. On occasion, the female bear tried to escape but the persistent male cut her off and sent her back up the ridge.

At first, a male's approaches are rejected by the female with paw swats, charges or bites. Eventually, repeated copulation occurs over a few days.



According to this, you're going about this all wrong! I think the whole herding on the mountain tops thing might work. Definitely worth a shot!