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Old 03-03-2002, 01:23 PM   #46
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A termite walks into a bar, goes up to the bar and asks "where is the bar tender?"
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Old 03-03-2002, 01:57 PM   #47
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Ok, two fish in a tank.
One says to the other one; "How do you drive this thing?"
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Old 03-03-2002, 02:32 PM   #48
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Ok i've got another:
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was brilliant.
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Old 03-03-2002, 04:57 PM   #49
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Old 08-11-2004, 09:35 AM   #50
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anyone got some more?




best. thread. ever.
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Old 08-11-2004, 09:42 AM   #51
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Q: What do you call someone who hangs around a bunch of musicians?

A: A drummer.
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Old 08-11-2004, 09:52 AM   #52
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Q: whats red and invisible?
A: no tomatos
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Old 08-11-2004, 11:57 AM   #53
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EDIT: ^^^ hahha, I love that joke


Alright, this is my favorite joke...

Q: What did the fish say after it ran into a wall?


A: Damn!




kay, now for another...

Q: What do you call a sheep with no limbs?


A: a cloud!



Q: A young boy was sitting on a mushroom. Why didn't the girl sit with him?


A: There wasn't MUSH ROOM



Alright, and now for the ULTIMATE JOKE!!!!

3 friends decided to take a boat out to seas for some fishing. Well, as it turned out, they ended up heading straight into a terrible storm and thrown off course into uncharted territory. They found themselves stranded on an island, with no food nor shelter. As time progressed, the friends helped one another in building a small hut made out of straw.

So one day 2 of the friends went out collecting food, and when they returned, they were horrified to find out that their old pal had died in a terrible fire. The hut was destroyed. Eventually the 2 rallied with one another and rebuilt the hut. On the one year anniversary of their friend's death, one of the men went out to the water in search of more food. Upon his arrival, he found, once again, the hut burned to the ground, and his friend dead in the ashes.

Over the next year, the man spent many months gathering food and trying to patch up what was lost in the fire. He was even somehow able to grow crops from tiny seedlings throughout the island. Unfortunately, on the one year mark of his friend's death, his hut was burned as well as his crops while he was away gathering food. However, upon the man's arrival, he saw a small individual in a red top-hat run into the bushes. Knowledgeable to the true nature of his friend's demise and the destruction of his crops and hut, the man ran to catch up with the deviant dwarf. He ran through a series of vines and tall grass-blades, only to run short of breath and lose sight of the dwarf. He rolled his fingers into his palm and raised his arm high into the air proclaiming, "I'll get you one day!!"

Over the next year, the man rebuilt his hut, regrew his crops, and began running an incredible distance on a daily basis for the inevitable future confrontation with the dwarf. So, on the one year mark of the previous encounter with the short deviant, the man waited in a nearby bush, ready to catch the dwarf. The man waited all day and night, but eventually, his body grew tired of the wait and he fell asleep. Upon awaking, he saw his hut and crops aflame and, sure enough, the red dwarf with a top-hat quickly running into the bushes. The man took off in a hurry. He ran past the vines and the tall grass-blades of the jungle, and up to a river, whereby the dwarf jumped straight across. The man, unsure if he could make such a distance, risked it and took a leap. Unfortunately, he did not make it far enough and landed in the water stream. The dwarf had once again gotten away. Floating down the stream the man raised his hand in the air and shouting, "I'll get you next year!!"

So over the next year, the man rebuilt his hut and regrew his crops, and began practicing his long jump for the inevitable encounter with the red-hatted dwarf. He took a good days rest in case he should fall asleep in waiting for the tiny deviant. So, the man waited in the bushes. However, this time the individual was struck in the back of the head with a heavy rock. Upon awakening from the blow, he saw his hut and crops blazing into oblivion once more. He also caught sight of the dwarf running into the woods again. The man chased after, running past the vines and tall grass-blades. They got to the river and the dwarf leaped over the stream, and the man followed. The chase carried on until the man saw the dwarf high-tale himself up a slim tree and across many nearby tree branches, until he lost sight of the small being once again. The man raised his hand shouting "I'll get you next year if it's the last thing I do!!!!"

Next year came. The man's hut and crops were again restored. He had been practicing his climbing skills by going up and down nearby trees. The man waited that day and night in a distance for the dwarf to arrive. However, he did not come. The man was perplexed. A week passed and there was no sign of any disaster taking place, so the man went out in search of food. When he came back, sure enough, his hut and crops were on fire. The man saw the dwarf with a red top-hat run hurriedly into the jungle. He took off after. They ran past the vines and tall grass-blades, over the river, and to the tree. The dwarf climbed quickly up, but the man followed close behind. The dwarf climbed onto a branch and the man cornered him. He grabbed the dwarf by his shoulders and asked vehemently, "are you the one that murdered my friends, burned my hut, and destroyed my crops?!" The dwarf looked at the man and promptly replied, "no."
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Old 08-12-2004, 04:28 AM   #54
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exellent!
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Old 08-12-2004, 07:12 PM   #55
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Man on his way to a animal dress up party, knocks on the door....
man dressed as Bear asks "where is your costume?"
the man turns around and points to the girl sitting on his back "i've come as a turtle, this is Michelle" (as in Me-Shell)
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Old 08-12-2004, 07:22 PM   #56
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