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Old 07-25-2006, 12:58 AM   #16
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Q: How do you know it's midnight at Michael Jackson's house?



A: The big hand's on the little hand.
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:00 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by GibsonGirl
Roger Waters, David Gilmour and Nick Mason were all (amazingly) killed at the same time, in freakish accidents, and were waiting outside the pearly gates. St. Peter comes gliding up to them and gives the news that anyone wishing to enter the gates must first perform a task to prove their worthiness.

The three have to cross a fast flowing river. They all stroll to the bank and look into the icy torrent, each stepping forward about 5 feet from each other. Nick immediately sinks and drowns as he is washed away, Roger and Dave both walk across the surface of the water and safely reach the other side, and the entrance to heaven. Dave looks guiltily at Roger and says "Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stones?" Roger looks back puzzled and says "What stepping stones?"


I'd expect Roger to write a song describing the morning dew of the area around the river, and sounds and smells of the riverbed.
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:03 AM   #18
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That's it. That's the joke.
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:04 AM   #19
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Q: Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's hands?




A: Neither has he
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:05 AM   #20
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Q: What do vegetarian worms eat?


A: Linda McCartney.




sorry for the rudeness...I saved these from a long time ago...
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:06 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by LemonMacPhisto




I'd expect Roger to write a song describing the morning dew of the area around the river, and sounds and smells of the riverbed.
Don't forget the oppressive nature of those damn fascist water lilies.
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:07 AM   #22
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Q: What do you call a cow with Wings?




A: Linda McCartney



eeek!
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:08 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by GibsonGirl


Don't forget the oppressive nature of those damn fascist water lilies.
wtfcoldplay? TEAR DOWN THE WALL !!!

These Linda McCartney ones aren't funny
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:09 AM   #24
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Q: where to cantaloupes and honeydew send their kids for the summer?



A: John Cougar Melon Camp
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:09 AM   #25
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This one's more of an anecdote than a joke:

"So there, I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really, but sure enough I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show."

If you know what movie this is from, then you deserve candy.
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:10 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by LemonMacPhisto




These Linda McCartney ones aren't funny


I know....I decided to stop posting the rest similar to this.....
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:11 AM   #27
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TOM WAITS FOR NO MAN .......:



Again..I saved these from a long time ago and came across them on my file
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:12 AM   #28
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JC Penney's is having a Michael Jackson sale ... little boys pants 1/2 off.




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Old 07-25-2006, 01:14 AM   #29
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Q: How many Pet Shop Boys does it take to change a lightbulb?


A: Two, one to change the lightbulb and another one to look bored
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Old 07-25-2006, 01:16 AM   #30
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A young Irish girl comes to town and goes to the priest.

"Father I have sinned .. I made love with Adam from U2 who gave me a ride to town. ."

"Daughter, say 10 prayers and you will be forgiven"

"Father," she says, "I will say 20 prayers because I will drive back with Bono."

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