|10-13-2002, 04:06 PM||#1|
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Waltham, MA
Local Time: 06:23 AM
Statements from automobile insurance claim forms__________________
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law and headed over the embankment.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home. As I reached an inter-section a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident and damage my big end.
As I approached the intersection a sign appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I stuck a pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out the way when I struck the front end.
The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been knocked over before.
Very unHelpful Inventions
>Ice Cube Mix
>Fire Proof Matches
>Reversible Sandwich Bread
>Black Light Bulb
>Disposable Garbage Bags
|10-14-2002, 11:43 AM||#3|
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: The OC....!!!!
Local Time: 03:23 AM
Those are great!
Last week, this gem came across my desk:
"I was driving on the freeway when I started to sneeze...this caused me to have severe sinus drip, which then caused me to cough. The coughing caused me to black out and I woke up 4 days later in hospital."
My favorite was the lady who slammed on her brakes and was rear-ended because "I heard a screech noise coming from my behind."
|10-15-2002, 11:08 AM||#5|
you are what you is
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: last fm
Local Time: 01:23 PM
those were pretty funny
“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”
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