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Old 03-24-2007, 10:56 PM   #61
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Michael Jackson To Enter Miss USA Pageant In 2008
(c)Reuters, 2007

CALIFORNIA - Michael Jackson, better known as the King of Pop, the Prince of Pedophiles, and Brewer of Jesus Juice, has announced that he will enter the 2008 Miss USA Pageant.

Although he has been reticent with regard to the inspiration behind this move, rumor on various internet sites is that Jackson was motivated by a discussion on a U2 message board. (Editor's Note: Jackson does have a connection to U2--during their famous ZooTV tour, Jackson asked U2 if he could send a cameraman to follow the band so that he could model himself after their work and learn the secret to their success. U2 were sufficiently weirded out.)

The inspirational thread is said to have claimed that Jackson bore an uncanny resemblance to the 2007 Pageant winner. Jackson, however, disagreed. "If only I could look like that," he told the Associated Press.

Jackson said that he was further motivated by various mean-spirited and questionably racist comments in the thread. "By entering this pageant, I want to stand up for all those who suffer from mean-spirited remarks, as well as those who suffer from being called racist, are racist, or are as confused about race as I am."

Regardless of the motives, next year's Miss USA Pageant is sure to make HIStory.

Projected appearance of Jackson for 2008 Pageant:

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Old 03-24-2007, 11:09 PM   #62
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Old 03-24-2007, 11:15 PM   #63
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Old 03-24-2007, 11:21 PM   #64
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Old 03-25-2007, 12:05 AM   #65
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Jesus! One star just for that scary-ass picture of Michael Jackson with tits.

If I wake up screaming tonight, someone's in deep shit.
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