Math(s) 101

[fah]

I almost posted this in the Valentines thread but changed my mind...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATHS
A man will l pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

[love_u2_adam]

 

[nbcrusader]

sent that one home to the wife

 

[easytiger]

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

[love_u2_adam]

^omg priceless

 

[verte76]

 

[fah]

There is a rumour that baby #2 is on the way

 

[LikeNoOneBefore]

Sometimes I think that the only reason she GOT married was because she was pregnant and didn't want to ruin her reputation...whatever's left of it, that is...

 

[Windmilllane]

Hot guy+hot chick=Britney and Kevin

 

[A_Wanderer]

Remember your Bacon, "There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion"