Man I LOVE confucius jokes!!!! (im soooooooo bared!!!!!!) - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-30-2002, 07:41 AM   #1
love, blood, life
mad1's Avatar
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Angie Jolie lover from Belfast Norn Ireland. I LOVE YOU ANGIE! Im a Bono fan!
Posts: 13,155
Local Time: 09:14 PM
Man I LOVE confucius jokes!!!! (im soooooooo bared!!!!!!)

Confucius, he say:

Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who go to bed with hard problem wake up with solution in hand.
Women who stay on bedspring too long get offspring.
Women's charms like spider's web - lead to flies undoing.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
He who sleep on bed of nails is holy.
Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.
Man who sit on tack bount to get point.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Man with hand in pocket always on the ball.
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
Nail on head not as good as screw on bench
Man who put head in fruit drink get punch in nose.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Baby conceived in automatic car grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Man who want pretty nurse must be patient.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
War does not determine who is right; war determines who is left.
Man who walk sideways through airport turnstile going to Bangkok.
Man who paint toilet not necessarily shithouse painter.
Man who handles privates all day not necessarily sergeant.
Man who do pushups in tall grass not necessarily fitness fanatic.


mad1 is offline  
Old 07-30-2002, 12:50 PM   #2
Blue Crack Addict
Hewson's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Your own private Idaho
Posts: 27,262
Local Time: 04:14 PM

Confucius jokes are funny Maddie, but I came here cause your thread title says your so "bared"...normally I would just assume its a typo, but the "A" and "O" keys are nowhere near each other so its either a major Freudian slip, or there should be some pictures...

Hewson is offline  
Old 07-30-2002, 06:26 PM   #3
The Fly
Spinning Ladies's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: GI, Nebraska, USA
Posts: 61
Local Time: 02:14 PM
Originally posted by Hewson
normally I would just assume its a typo, but the "A" and "O" keys are nowhere near each other so its either a major Freudian slip, or there should be some pictures...

Man with organ in peanut jar not crazy, he's just fucking nuts.
Spinning Ladies is offline  
Old 07-30-2002, 07:16 PM   #4
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Lilly's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: back and to the left
Posts: 8,523
Local Time: 02:14 PM

man with stinky butt has itchy finger
Lilly is offline  

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:14 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright ©