Looneyville, Texas, United States Superthread

[LemonMelon]

The cat in that promo pic is not the same cat as the promo pic in our DVR. Either there are a shitload of cats in this movie or they just couldn't be fucked to get the same cat.

 

[bono_212]

oh....my God....movie opens with Routh ANGRY posing for a Fireman's calendar. His acting here is INCREDIBLE. You can seeeee the seething.


Also apparently putting a black man on the cover of a fireman's calendar means they won't sell. Starting off on the racist foot.

 

[bono_212]

My dad is a fireman...I can't handle the fact that with a fire call sounded, they are WALKING to the fire truck.

 

[LemonMelon]

Asks the generic looking side character to the attractive lead: "what's with you and women?"

 

[bono_212]

Veterinary teacher has an indistinguishable accent and uses the word "pussycat".

 

[bono_212]

Asks the generic looking side character to the attractive lead: "what's with you and women?"

Exposition!

 

[bono_212]

And within two minutes of meeting this female character, we're getting a very specific conversation between her and her best friend about her entire personality profile...WRITING!

 

[bono_212]

"You need to stop counting your age in dog years."

Well...I mean...if I were counting my age in dog years and referred to myself as 32, I'd be...long dead.

 

[LemonMelon]

The protagonist is a homebody that is being convinced to go on a zany adventure. I've never seen this inciting incident on Hallmark before.

 

[bono_212]

The protagonist is a homebody that is being convinced to go on a zany adventure. I've never seen this inciting incident on Hallmark before.

But look at the magical way she handles old people who personify their own issues onto their dogs!

She is going to get that dog the best leisurewear money can buy. That'll cheer the puppy up.

 

[LemonMelon]

Dogs don't listen to Superman until he physically grabs them and throws them out of the scene.

 

[bono_212]

OK, there's NO WAY that's the same cat. This cat is tiny and thin.

 

[LemonMelon]

Cats are his one true weakness. His kryptonite, if you will.

 

[bono_212]

You know what cat it DOES look like, though?

 

[LemonMelon]

lmao cats aren't this excitable. They don't do a damn thing.

 

[bono_212]

Cats are his one true weakness. His kryptonite, if you will.

You can tell he's secretly desperate for affection, I mean he put up about two seconds of fuss before he just brought the cat into the house.

 

[bono_212]

Hot damn, the cat police are out tonight. YOU GON GET EvICTeD BIATCH.

She's basically Ace Ventura, I see.

 

[bono_212]

AHA! THere's the fat cat. I see now. She's got a secret cat living in her house, and Super man has ANOTHER cat.

 

[LemonMelon]

A neighbor heard a cat and complained? They must have been experiencing the hangover of a lifetime.

 

[bono_212]

This girl be like:

~"WHY WON'T ANYBODY DAAAAAATEEEE MEEEE???"

 

[LemonMelon]

First commercial break was about 5 minutes in. Good to know Hallmark is in the holiday spirit.

 

[bono_212]

I...I...think they just made a pussy joke....it was SO hidden though, I'm not sure if I just have a dirty mind...

 

[LemonMelon]

This movie is entirely relying on a cat to walk from room to room and bat at things to keep the energy level up. More and more I'm convinced that it's a CGI cat.

 

[LemonMelon]

"Male cats have a tendency toward prostate problems"

Yeah, and female cats have a tendency toward vagina problems.

 

[bono_212]

Brandon Routh definitely looks like he's playing Brandon Routh who just realized that he is starring in a Hallmark movie.

 

[LemonMelon]

"This man saved my life when my oven exploded!"

Why did he bother saving someone dumb enough to blow up an oven by accident?

 

[bono_212]

Oh sweet Jesus YES. Candace Cameron is starring in ANOTHER HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIE.

The Bure is merciful.

 

[bono_212]

"This man saved my life when my oven exploded!"

Why did he bother saving someone dumb enough to blow up an oven by accident?

Gonna assume it wasn't an accident. That woman was desperate for affection.

 

[LemonMelon]

Now that I've cleaned the jizz off myself following that Candance Cameron commercial, we return to the good stuff.

I think the director just attempted a stalker Scream type thing, but without any scares.

 

[bono_212]

Now that I've cleaned the jizz off myself following that Candance Cameron commercial, we return to the good stuff.

I think the director just attempted a stalker Scream type thing, but without any scares.

But for a moment we had to be afraid that her Landlord (who apparently stalks around outside her house all day) showed up to EVIIIiICCccTTTT HEERRRRRR.