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Old 03-03-2008, 03:48 PM   #661
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i'm sorry i didn't know you read the thread when you weren't around. and didn't you say you'd watched it? or was that nsw?
yeah he was pissed this morning.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:49 PM   #662
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As someone who had a wild time being single and also has a very satisfying marriage, I have to say that I am VERY worried about your long term happiness. You simply put too much on a pedestal, be it sex or love or women. The fact of the matter is that sometimes sex is an unbelievable connecting moment with another person. Other times its simply a lot of fun. Sometimes romance seems like it can change the color of the sky other times it seems like the hardest thing in the world.

BUT the big thing I am concerned about is how you talk about women. I love my wife. We have been together for 8 years. We have been married for 5 years in May, but the simple fact of the matter is that my wife has strengths and weaknesses just like every other person you meet. If you can't see a woman you are romantic with in that light, then you are objectifying her as much as a man who only looks at her for sex. You have to learn how to let people simply be who they are.

That's much more satisfying anyways. I love the fact that I know my wife and she knows me. We are at the same time impressed and not impressed with one another. We are partners.
1. I want the tongue ring story.

2. I totally agree with this. A healthy relationship requires you to see the person for who they are and accept all their faults, not to build them into some idealized thing they are not. And I agree that it is much more satisfying to truly know a person for who they are and accept them. Great post Dalton.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:49 PM   #663
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and that reminds me. that stupid purity test doesn't ask about no pants o'clock. it's very uncreative...if that is even a word.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:51 PM   #664
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Women deserve pedestals though. Varitek deserves a pedestal in some man's eye some day. If you are special you deserve to be looked at in a special way. It is the least you can give them for the wonders they bring. Women deserve that kind of respect.
Oh for the love of





























































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Old 03-03-2008, 03:51 PM   #665
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Varitek -

I am happily single, too. I've been in great relationships, and miserable ones...but I'm always cool with being single.

Also, yes, it was me that watched The Wire last night, not Dalton. Thanks for getting me confused with a Fry cook.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:52 PM   #666
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Originally posted by phanan


He's not saying they shouldn't be put on a pedestal, but he's worried about your definition of them being on a pedestal.
On my pedestal you would have imperfections and flaws. Those should be loved along with the great things about a person. You should love a person regardless. In fact you should love a person even more as you learn a person's faults.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:55 PM   #667
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On my pedestal you would have imperfections and flaws. Those should be loved along with the great things about a person. You should love a person regardless. In fact you should love a person even more as you learn a person's faults.
Agreed, and that's why we love you more the more you post.

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Old 03-03-2008, 03:55 PM   #668
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I have no views on love and all that, because I've never been in a relationship. Sure, there are girls I want to be in a relationship with, and I feel certain ways about each of them, but I can't know what I think it's all about till I've actually tried it.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:55 PM   #669
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Originally posted by Screwtape2


Women deserve pedestals though. Varitek deserves a pedestal in some man's eye some day. If you are special you deserve to be looked at in a special way. It is the least you can give them for the wonders they bring. Women deserve that kind of respect.
that is so cute! If I said that to my wife she would kick me in the balls
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:56 PM   #670
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I'm having flashbacks of
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:56 PM   #671
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Oh, and please do not ask Dalton what he does with a woman after placing her on a pedestal. Too graphic.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:56 PM   #672
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Originally posted by Screwtape2


On my pedestal you would have imperfections and flaws. Those should be loved along with the great things about a person. You should love a person regardless. In fact you should love a person even more as you learn a person's faults.
Ok, you had me a bit worried there for a moment.

Well, you still worry me a bit, though. But you're young still.

Fuck, I feel old reading this stuff.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:57 PM   #673
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Quote:
Originally posted by Screwtape2


Women deserve pedestals though. Varitek deserves a pedestal in some man's eye some day. If you are special you deserve to be looked at in a special way. It is the least you can give them for the wonders they bring. Women deserve that kind of respect.
Quote:
Originally posted by Screwtape2


It is them. It is a celebration of them. It isn't who I wish they were it is who they actually are. It is pedestal of what they are.
OK, Screwtape, let me tell you about my last relationship, because you show signs of going down the road my ex went down only far, far worse. He saw me for me and accepted my flaws, it was actually my strenghts/lack of vulnerability/independence that killed it in the end, because he wanted this idealized romance where we spent every waking and sleeping hour together and at 19 planned to marry and all this bullshit to last forever, and I sort of bought into it for the first 10-12 months or so of the relationship and it slowly smothered me. And this was with him accepting me for me and not idealizing me. The other HUGE problem in the relationship was, even though he again was better than you seem to be in that he accepted my faults, he still had this massively insecure inferiority complex (ok I may have been a little hotter than him) and all the time said shit like "you're perfect" and "i'm not good enough for you" which was super unsexy ans stressful to have to build him back up and generally sucked, and really did not help keep the relationship on a healthy level of equal exchange/equal give and take.

Of course I want to be respected by men, and some day I want to be "special" in that I would like to get married and have kids with one guy and spend the rest of my life with him...but only if he sees me for me, understands and loves my flaws, and does not put me on a pedestal. I don't want to be worshiped. Complimented/told I'm sexy in a nice outfit or naked/made to feel smart and listened to is one thing, any healthy relationship will have that, but not a pedestal. Ever.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:58 PM   #674
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Originally posted by Screwtape2


On my pedestal you would have imperfections and flaws. Those should be loved along with the great things about a person. You should love a person regardless. In fact you should love a person even more as you learn a person's faults.

What happens when those person's faults royally fuck you over (not in the good way)? Cause that's going to happen. Not 'if' but 'when'.
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Old 03-03-2008, 03:58 PM   #675
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Fuck, I feel old reading this stuff.
I just kind of feel weird reading this stuff.
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