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Old 03-15-2003, 07:37 AM   #16
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"After getting his hair trimmed at the shoot, [Ryan] Adams admitted his 'fear of mullet. I fear the mullet so bad - you know, the business-in-front-party-in-back look - that I went home and cut all my hair off.'"
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Old 03-15-2003, 11:17 AM   #17
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Let's not forget the Patrick Swayze mullet.

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Old 03-15-2003, 12:53 PM   #18
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Old 03-15-2003, 01:08 PM   #19
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Old 03-15-2003, 03:38 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by cujo
Mullet Enemy Number One:



Scott Stapp:

I enjoy staring at people, and wearing tight pants that accentuate the mounds of stuffing I put in them. One day, I strive to be the lead in a cologne commercial... for my own personal line... Golden Shower.


If you encounter this man-mullet, do not approach, as he is prone to erratic fist pumping and chest grabbing. If he reaches out to you in this manner, reach back to him... with the back of your hand.

LMAO!

Don't forget about the ego on him, too-we need to warn people about that. .

*Notices Billy Ray Cyrus pic

Oh, god...no...not that! !

Damnit, now "Achy Breaky Heart" is in my head. .

Angela
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Old 03-15-2003, 08:05 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonlit_Angel
Damnit, now "Achy Breaky Heart" is in my head. .

Angela

Horrors! Such is the evil of the mullet!!
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Old 03-15-2003, 08:14 PM   #22
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THE "INDUSTRY" MULLET

aka the "B" Mullet, aka the "Shaggin Mullet"



Ron Jeremy:

The man who put the VD in DVD, the Sultan of Shag himself...

What's a porn without mullets... I've been in over 1000 movies... I'm a living legend.

Exercise extreme caution if you are approached by the industry mullet, as it may ask to inspect your pipes... do not accept any sort of delivery or "package" from any man of the industry mullet.

I'm sure you've heard the old cliché that women don't enjoy these movies as they have no plot or class... but the real reason is the mullet. It is not sexy, it is not mulletastic... it is mullecraptic.
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Old 03-15-2003, 08:25 PM   #23
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THE PIPPY LONG-STALKER

Can be traced backed to the mid-eighties...

aka the Christina Aguilera, aka the Man who lives in a van down by the river mullet...



Dee Snider

Look at me I'm a f***in sexy beast!

Run away, run far away if you see this mullet coming around the block. He is prone to beating you up with his music, and often posesses the form of young pre-teens, proclaiming "I want to Rock"...

Well my friends, I'm not going to take this mullet, are you?

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Old 03-15-2003, 10:22 PM   #24
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I'm gone for a couple days, and look at the fantastic hilarity I've missed!

Cujo, you never fail to disappoint when it comes to bizarreness

My opinions on the mullet are best described in the song title "Cut the Mullet" by Wesley Willis.



Cut The Mullet, by Wesley Willis:

Do something about your long, filthy hair
It looks like a rat's nest
Do something about your mullet
Get out the hair clippers, jerk

Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet

Get the rat's nest off your head
Get that crazy-ass mother off your skull
Take your ass to the barber shop
Tell the barber that you're sick of looking like an asshole

Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet

The mullet is the reason why people hate you
They are sick of looking at your nappy weed-sack
Nobody wants to look at you with that mullet on your head
Why don't you cut that mullet, you numbskull

Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet
Cut the mullet

Insure One, it's the insurance superstore



Yes folks, it's a real song. Go download it, you will laugh, I promise. Other Wesley Willis greats "I Whooped Batman's Ass" & "Suck a Cheetah's Dick". Fantastic music as you can tell by the titles. Regardless, I agree with his viewpoints on mullets.
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Old 03-18-2003, 04:10 AM   #25
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I'm really disappointed no one has tried to download that song, or even commented on the lyrics.
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Old 03-18-2003, 04:12 AM   #26
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I read it and thought it was funny... but I'm still perfecting my final mullet entry... it'll be a doozy hopefully...
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Old 03-18-2003, 04:15 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by cujo
I read it and thought it was funny...
Just a note on the song. The "song" writer (Wesley Willis) is actually a homeless guy who yelled things on the street. Some jerk off recording studio guys thought it would be funny to give him a contract and make an album. Sadly, it did well and he's released a few now.

The songs are quite humorous, as are the "musical" videos.
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Old 03-18-2003, 11:26 AM   #28
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wesley willis scares me...

mullets scare me...

i had a mullet-like haircut in 5th grade...it was scary...i wans't aware that it resemlbled a mullet, and no one said "hey that kid has a mullet"...but i found my school picture from 5th grade and it was scary.
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Old 03-20-2003, 08:02 PM   #29
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HAIRITIES: Mullet Rarities

I know what you're thinking... you've seen everything, and that all mullets have been covered... but, no... the most pervasive form out there cannot be found at the local stock car show or demolition derby. No my friends, it can be found at the local ice rink...

The Hockey Mullet
aka hockeyathletis mulletis, aka helmet head, aka the rink rat-tail, aka the mullet pucker...



Need I say more? The problem with this mullet is it seems to give Samson-like abilities to its host... but, this mullet is simply an offshoot of the major hair deviant...

The Euro Trash Mullet
aka the Tears for Fears Mullet, aka the Unforgettable Fire mullet, aka the "A-HA" mullet, aka the Eighties Mullet

Unfortunately I could not provide visual aids for this most grotesque of styles, as it may be offensive to some forum members... but be wary of its power. It's known to hypnotize vulnerable young music fans to buy albums and to shave phrases on the backs of their heads...

What compells people to do this you say? Why the obsession with hair that defies the very boundaries of the razor, clipper, and hedge-trimmer? Simple...

...actually I have no answer... this thread is all for nought!
Why mullet, why must you mock me with your presence!?!



Cut, Cut
Cut it all out
these are the hairs
I can do without

Come on
I'm talking to you
Come on
...

You never even
cut it off...
You never even
cut it off...


...Cause Every Mullet Wants to Rule the World!
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Old 03-21-2003, 10:08 AM   #30
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