oliveu2cm
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
I got this forwarded to me.
What we know about Osama bin Laden is this - he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and 26 kids...and he hates Americans for their 'excessive' lifestyles."
* David Letterman
"More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of 52 kids. This guy inherited $80 million at age 13 and has since expanded it to $300 million through
construction, smart stock buys and gas & oil investments. This way, he can use the money in his war against capitalism."
* Jay Leno
"You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration."
* Jay Leno
"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, and he'll be dead in a week."
* Jay Leno
"It was reported today that Osama Bin Laden has 50 brothers and sisters. Which absolutely shocked me because I had no idea he was Catholic."
* Conan O'Brien
"CBS News finally received anthrax in the mail. As usual, we're number three."
* David Letterman
"Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder."
* Jay Leno
"I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing outside a water-treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here, it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every day.'"
* Jay Leno
"Postal inspectors have been given advanced warning that Publishers Clearinghouse is sending packets of laundry detergent that could be mistaken for anthrax. Oh, good timing! What genius came up with this promotion? What's next? A ticking alarm clock? Let's put THAT in a box."
* Jay Leno
"The FBI is urging all Americans to beware of any letters or packages that have badly misspelled words. Man, this is terrible news for the rap industry."
* Jay Leno
"People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If your first name is Mohammed, and your last name isn't Ali, arrive at the airport extra early."
* Jay Leno
"In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were
attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders."
* Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update
"Tomorrow night on NBC, a very special episode of West Wing makes a direct reference to what happened in New York City. The exact plot is being kept top secret. We're the
only country in the world where we put our battle plans on CNN, but the plots to our TV
shows are top secret."
* Jay Leno
"There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban; apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad."
* Jay Leno
What we know about Osama bin Laden is this - he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and 26 kids...and he hates Americans for their 'excessive' lifestyles."
* David Letterman
"More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of 52 kids. This guy inherited $80 million at age 13 and has since expanded it to $300 million through
construction, smart stock buys and gas & oil investments. This way, he can use the money in his war against capitalism."
* Jay Leno
"You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration."
* Jay Leno
"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, and he'll be dead in a week."
* Jay Leno
"It was reported today that Osama Bin Laden has 50 brothers and sisters. Which absolutely shocked me because I had no idea he was Catholic."
* Conan O'Brien
"CBS News finally received anthrax in the mail. As usual, we're number three."
* David Letterman
"Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder."
* Jay Leno
"I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing outside a water-treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here, it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every day.'"
* Jay Leno
"Postal inspectors have been given advanced warning that Publishers Clearinghouse is sending packets of laundry detergent that could be mistaken for anthrax. Oh, good timing! What genius came up with this promotion? What's next? A ticking alarm clock? Let's put THAT in a box."
* Jay Leno
"The FBI is urging all Americans to beware of any letters or packages that have badly misspelled words. Man, this is terrible news for the rap industry."
* Jay Leno
"People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If your first name is Mohammed, and your last name isn't Ali, arrive at the airport extra early."
* Jay Leno
"In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were
attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders."
* Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update
"Tomorrow night on NBC, a very special episode of West Wing makes a direct reference to what happened in New York City. The exact plot is being kept top secret. We're the
only country in the world where we put our battle plans on CNN, but the plots to our TV
shows are top secret."
* Jay Leno
"There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban; apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad."
* Jay Leno
