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Old 01-23-2002, 10:21 PM   #1
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Kmart

Per my new found hobby, satirewire.com

Ailing retail giant Kmart today announced it would not have to declare bankruptcy after an audit conducted by its newly hired accounting firm, Arthur Andersen, found no records of company finances whatsoever.

"Our previous accounting firm told us we lost $224 million in the fiscal third quarter, but Andersen has informed us that, at least on paper, we didn't have a fiscal third quarter," said CEO Charles Conaway. "What a difference proper accounting makes."

Andersen executives did not return several messages. A company attorney later explained his clients were only allowed one phone call, and they had already made it.

HAHAHA

CK

[This message has been edited by TheU2 (edited 01-23-2002).]
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Old 01-24-2002, 03:06 AM   #2
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Good stuff, CK. You may also enjoy www.chaser.com.au .

------------------
"And you'll be standing there, while the boats go by
While the boats go by on a Friday evening
Shining your light, shining your light on a Friday evening
Got to slip away, got to slip away down that ancient highway
In a town called Paradise, in a town, in a town
All along, all along that road, all along that road
All along that road with the trancelike vision..."
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