killerwhaletank

[kobayashi]

I had a job before this
I had a job before this
Ultimately it was that job that drove me into this
I worked at an aquarium
An aquarium with lots of money from the government
So it was huuuuge
I was a, a clean and scrub man
That?s what we called each other in the CNS union
I scrubbed the inside of the?killerwhaletank
The
And after a while the boys in the CNS, clean ?n scrub, we just sort of made it one word
Killerwhaletank
The killerwhaletank huh
The killerwhaletank
I?m going into the?killerwhaletank
I got along with these two big beasts so well
It was like they knew me
They looked at me with their hundred year old eyes
And it was like they knew me
HI!
I?d put in my scuba gear my mask my reguuulator
Uaggggh
And I?d fall into the tank
With nary a sound
Maybe a hmmm
And then I was under water
Hmmm hmmm hmmmm hmm
Sometimes
I?d jump out
Right in front of the window
When people are expecting a killer whale.
But they see a human
They get spooked
Spooked
Any way I?d do that
But I was, I was in the water this particular day and unbeknownst to me
Shamu and Bartholomew, they?re relationship had gone stale
Seems I was going in there so much
And I was looking so good
Shamu took a shining to me
And they?re so smart those things ya know
They got all these human emotions:
love. lust. greeeed!. hundred year old eyed jealousy.
Bartholamew?was livid!!
Unbeknownst to me. I can?t hear a goddamn thing under water!!!!!!
He came up he was bumping against me a lot.
The stale killerwhale bumping up against someone so pale and frail
How was I to know the killerwhale relationship had gone stale.
Well
He bunches up to me, skin like sandpaper
I say
?Hey man, bartholamew, what?s up? what?s going on big fella? What is it? I don?t wanna steal your mommy, and I certainly don?t wanna take the place of your daddy, I only wanna be your friend.?
And he circled around
I thought we were all patched up
But?
I was scrubbing
And he?
He?
Ripped my left arm off
I mean the killerwhale their beasts of the deep
They?re quite docile and friendly in captivity
But somewhere along the line thousands of years of breeding and he just snapped
And he took my left arm
He took my left arm
He took my fucking left arm
Which way is it bartholamew?
I spoke to him a language he?d understand!
As I came back, whhhm, whhhhhmm, whhhhm!

the tragically hip, new orleans is sinking, live, killerwhaletank version.

 

[scatteroflight]

Are you saying they actually perform it like that sometimes?

I was never a big fan of the Hip. I guess that means I'm not a true Canadian.

------------------
See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out

 

[kobayashi]

Originally posted by scatteroflight:
I guess that means I'm not a true Canadian.

it's true. you're not

yeah that's one of the many stories gordie relates through various time periods of playing new orleans.

 

[Iron Chef MoFo]

...and then there's the Highway Girl monologue...

She had a beautiful apartment. She had a beautiful apartment, well actually, it was a lousy apartment, but she, she's very handy with her hands, and, and she's got architectural digest magazines, so she knows what she's doing. She liked to decorate her apartment in the Santa Fe tradition. I told her it was dated, but I see more of the world than she does.

She got an apartment where the property was cheap, next to the freeway. She said "I save lots of money, but I lose lots of sleep, in my apartment, where the property is so cheap."

And we'd laugh, and we'd laugh, and we'd LAUGH! Oh, we'd take pot-shots at the passing cars, and we'd laugh! Oh, we were dumping the body, and we'd laugh! We found a place that was dark and rotten, a place where the police helicopters would never spot it. I destroyed the map that we'd so carefully dotted. Everyday we're dumping a body, she and me. Every single day.

And we'd LAUGH about it.

That's when I knew, it was time that we both kill ourselves, together. Together we were nothing but a menace, apart we were nothing but lonely. I read to much. I thought we should kill ourselves. She doesn't read a thing, she believed me. "Are you really the Messiah?" "Yes I am". She was younger than me too. She was younger than me. And I said to her, I said "you know Pauline, nobody stamps on a burning bag of shit anymore! Nobody!" "Are you really the Messiah?" "Yes I am. Believe it."

So we uh, we opted to kill ourselves, as I said, but we had one rifle and one bullet. So, I told her to put her head down close to the barrel and put the barrel sort of into her mouth and I'd be right behind her, with my head behind hers. And I said "your life will end instantly, mine might have a few extra minutes of agony and suffering."

She couldn't pull the trigger, so we attached a string to it, around the lamp and to the doorknob. The first person to come into our cheap fucking apartment would blow both our heads off.

And we got, we got to thinking, we changed our minds, you know? I mean, we got scared. And uh, and, and, and we kind of chickened out, and we, we laughed about it, you know, we laughed about it. We're not, together, you know, we, we're not that bad, we don't, we're not that bad! I mean we don't kneed to kill ourselves! We don't need to kill ourselves.

And then the D-train rattled overhead, and knocked the door ajar. And on the faulty lock, the door swung open, and killed her.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

 

[kobayashi]

haha ironchef! how'd you find this?

a man walks into the street shaking a banana at people

 

[ouizy]

One of my favorite songs of all time:

He said I'm fabulously rich
C'mon just lets go
She kinda bit her lip
Geez, I don't know
But I can guarantee
There'll be no knock on the door
I'm total pro that's what I'm here for
I come from downtown
Born ready for you
Armed with will and determination
And grace too

The Secrets prove of engagement
Are hard to endorse
When the appearance of conflict
Meets the appearance of force
I'm total pro
what I'm here for
I come from downtown
Born ready for you
Armed with will and determination
And grace too

 

[Iron Chef MoFo]

I've got a copy of it.

 

[ghetofabu]

Originally posted by kobayashi:
I had a job before this......

That is really fucked up. I love it.

------------------
When life hands you a lemon, say "Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else you got?" --Henry Rollins

[This message has been edited by ghetofabu (edited 05-16-2002).]

 

[kobayashi]

Originally posted by ghetofabu:
That is really fucked up. I love it.

oh you got to hear it. wicked live band.