Isn't it time for another Frank the Monkey thread!

[Kieran McConville]

That's a statement, not a question.

Ah, Frank the Monkey, my least favourite creation, God's unloved monster, the little scratch on the roof of His mouth that would go away if only He could stop poking at it.

Did we create him or did he create us?

Frank the Monkey has attached my intestine to a sausage machine and is making shit sausages from it while I watch on helplessly, doped to the eyeballs on methadone.

I have no idea where this is going, guys, only that it's somewhere bad. Things always go somewhere bad after Frank the Monkey comes to visit!

The walls are so caked in shit that the entire house has lost its linear geometry, it's now like the inside of a GIANT ANT'S NEST!

I can't even work out where the rooms and doors used to be, it's like i just have these tunnels and cul-de-sacs for a house now!

I don't even know if there is a door! THERE ISN'T, FRANK JUST CONFIRMED THAT THERE IS NO DOOR!

SO HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET IN!???

AND HOW THE FUCK DO I GET OUT???!!

 

[DaveC]

Frank the Monkey has attached my intestine to a sausage machine and is making shit sausages from it while I watch on helplessly, doped to the eyeballs on methadone.

Barbecue!

 

[Zoomerang96]

haha
oh man
usually i at least make an attempt to say something half-assed witty in response, but i got nothing. that made my day.

...SO MUCH SHIT ON THE WALLS. wow... heavens be the glory, i can't imagine how you're still finding time to post after being ravaged by frank.

YOU'RE TURNING INTO SHIT SAUSAGE!!! SHIT SAUSAGE!!!!!!!1

 

[JessicaAnn]

This post is the best birthday present I could have received.

 

[Kiki]

haha
oh man
usually i at least make an attempt to say something half-assed witty in response, but i got nothing.

shit sausages......gez.....gives new meaning to the phrase "hot shit on a gold platter, but in reality it's just a cold turd on a paper plate"

 

[*browneyedgirl*]

I want to know how to get out too

 

[Zoots]

I want to know how to get out too

of this thread?

 

[*browneyedgirl*]

of this thread?

I don't know

 

[Zoots]

Last I saw Frank the Monkey, he was sitting next to me on the muss bus. Yeah... that was one uncomfortable ride.

 

[Calluna]

Zedbetty, there is no way I am setting foot in your house until you clean up that mess!

 

[JessicaAnn]

http://crimeandtraumascenecleanup.com/grossfilth.htm

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

 

[Kieran McConville]

Who's the wag who rated this thread one star?

Now was that really necessary? I don't think so. I think it's a bit lame, really.

Oh, so you don't like my story, diddums. It's called creative writing, fuckers. Deal with it.

Never complain, and never explain. That, friends, is the rule.

 

[Zoomerang96]

i'd actually take it as a compliment, kieran.
save for the odd thread written by someone else, yours are pretty much the ONLY reason to come to lemonade stand.