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Old 07-21-2005, 05:40 AM   #31
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Originally posted by U2@NYC
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 1 Of 5)


Seven o'clock in the morning
And the rays from the sun wakes me
I'm stretchin' and yawnin'
In a bed that don't belong to me
And a voice yells, "Good morning, darlin", from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise, she ain't you

Now I've got this dumb look on my face
Like, what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here til the morning sun?
Must of lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the club, went to her home
Didn't plan to stay that long

Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys
Tryin' to get on up out the door
Then she streched her hands in front of it
Said, "You can't go this way"
Looked at her, like she was crazy
Said, "Woman move out my way"
Said, "I got a wife at home"
She said, "Please don't go out there"
"Lady, I've got to get home"
She said, her husband was comin' up the stairs

"Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet"
She said, "Don't you make a sound
Or some shit is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"
"Shit think, shit think, shit quick, put me in the closet"
And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house

Then he walks in and yells, "I'm home"
She says, "Honey, I'm in the room"
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin', "Honey, I've been missin' you"
She hops all over him
And says, "I've cooked and ran your bath water"
I'm tellin' you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar

Throws her in the bed
And start to snatchin' her clothes off
I'm in the closet, like man, what the fuck is going on?
You're not gonna believe it
But things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, "There's a mystery going on
And I'm gonna solve it"
And I'm like, "God please, don't let this man open this closet"

He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
She says, "Baby, come back to bed"
He says, "Bitch, say no more"
He pulls back the shower curtain
While she's biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I'm sweating like hell
Checks under the bed
Then opens the dresser
He looks at the closet
I pull out my Beretta
He walks up to the closet
He comes up to the closet
Now he's at the closet
Now he's opening the closet...
Best Video EVER!!!!!

this man is brilliant..not only is the song not really a song, it is "music"and he "tells"a story..It is so obvious what is gonna happen it is incredibly funny.I saw it this morning for the first time and I couldn;t stop laughing..This guy is making millions and for what exactely..who is buying this????
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Old 07-21-2005, 05:43 AM   #32
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Best Video EVER!!!!!

this man is brilliant..not only is the song not really a song, it is "music"and he "tells"a story..It is so obvious what is gonna happen it is incredibly funny.I saw it this morning for the first time and I couldn;t stop laughing..This guy is making millions and for what exactely..who is buying this????
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 2 Of 5)"

Well...
Now he’s staring at me like
As if he was starin in a mirror
She yells honey let me explain
He says you don’t have to go no further
I can clearly see what’s goin on
Behind my back, in my bed, in my home
Then I said wait a minute now hold on
I said mister we can work this out
She said honey don’t lose control
Tried to get him to calm down
He said ho I should’ve known
That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt
I said we need to resolve this
Then he stepped to me, I’m like whoa
There’s a reason I’m in this closet
He says, yeah like what, are you talkin clothes
I met this girl at the Paje's club
And she told me she didn’t have a man
Then he said man please,
I’d kill you if you didn’t have that gun in ya hand
And I said but yo chick chose me
He said don’t give me that mack shit please
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer
I point my gun and says I’m not the one you after
He says somethin I bet you didn’t know my man
Did she tell you that I was a pastor
I said well good that’s betta right
Why can’t we handle this Christian- like
And I started to put the gun down
Til I saw his face still had a frown
She started cryin, sayin baby I’m sorry
Then he said baby not as sorry as you’re gonna be
I started inchin out
He says no I want you to see this
Said I gotta get out this house
He said not til I reveal my secret
I’m like what is goin on inside his head
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says
Hello, Baby, turn the car around
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now (Click)
He looks at me and says well since we’re all comin out the closet
I’m not about to be the only one that’s broken hearted
She said what do you mean
And he said just wait and see
I said somebody betta talk to me
And then his phone rang
He picks up and somebody says sweetheart I’m downstairs
And he’s like I’ll buzz you up
I’m on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs
And I’m like who is this mystery lady that you’re talking to
He says in time you both will know the shockin truth
Baby this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time
Then I said nigga Imma shoot you both if you don’t say what’s on ya mind
He said wait I hear somebody comin up the stairs
And I’m lookin on the door
He says I think you betta sit down in the chair
I says I’m gonna count to four
1, he says mister wait
2, she says please don’t shoot
3, he says don’t shoot me
4, she screams
Then a knock at the door, the guns in my hands
He opens the door, I can’t believe it’s a man

WHO WOULD HAVE QUESSED????

it gets better wait a sec
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Old 07-21-2005, 05:47 AM   #33
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Here we are. The four of us...
In total shock... Me and her.
I closed my mouth and swallowed spit,
And I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit!"
And I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one he's been talking to?"
He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"

I said, "All of ya'll ass is crazy, let me up out this door,
Because this is way more than I bargained for"
She says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"
Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"
But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"
Then I thought to myself, and said, 'Quick, you got three minutes'
Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"

She said, "My God, Rufus! I've got just one question,
how could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"
He looked at her and said, "Bitch please, you've got your nerves
With all your club hoppin', lyin' when you said you was shoppin'.
And now here you are in our home, and you're callin' me wrong."

"Okay you busted me! And that much I agree, you caught me cheatinggg!
But this is a little extreme!"

He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back.
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"
And she said, "But she's a he!"
And he said, "Please, you can't judge me"
She said, "But Rufus this is crazy!"
And I said, "Stop arguing!
I did not stay here to hear you chew each other out,
So get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"

"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year,
At midnight creeping around with him has been a living hell, sneaking in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"
Then Rufus said, "Chuck, please! Don't say nothing else!"
Then she screams, "Rufus you son of a bitch,"
He says, "Cathy, go to hell!"
I said, "I thought you said your name was Mary, that what you said at the party.
Man this is gettin scary imma shoot somebody!"
Then Rufus start yelling and screaming saying, "Cathy, this is all your fault!"
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!"
Chuck screamed out, "We're in love!"
Cathy says, "Love my ass!"
Rufus said they're getting married then I shoot one in the air!

I said, "Not annother one of you sons of bitches say a word!
Cuz all this shit I'm goin thru is unheard!"
I grabbed my cellular
I said, "This is so wrong,"
I call up my home,
And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I will not read part 4 and 5...so it was part 1,2 and 3 I saw this morning..absolutely hilarious video...what an complete idiot this man is..I quess it is normal when you're "doing"another man's wife to pick up the phone like you live there...

Can I withstand the temptation of looking at number 4 and 5...only time wil tell..

Thank you mr Kelly for gracing this planet with sophisticated, well thought over, brilliant clips and even better songs...

Now where is your recordcompanies adress??



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Old 07-21-2005, 05:48 AM   #34
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Best Lyrics ever made:

"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year,
At midnight creeping around with him has been a living hell, sneaking in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"

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Old 07-21-2005, 05:59 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by zwervers2
Best Lyrics ever made:

"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year,
At midnight creeping around with him has been a living hell, sneaking in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"

This is why people should stop complaining about the lyrics of Vertigo
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Old 07-21-2005, 06:02 AM   #36
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Somebody post that video...now
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Old 07-21-2005, 06:03 AM   #37
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Re: Re: Is new R. Kelly videos a joke?

Quote:
Originally posted by WildHoneyAlways


I'm going to go with yes, he has lost his mind.

He works out at the same gym as me. He always brings his tourbus to the health club for some reason. He doesn't live far enough away to warrent a tour bus trip.

He used to have a house 2 blocks from my parents house. It's not the place he peed on the girl though. I have a friend who lives down the street from where all that went down in Chicago.
I'm kinda ashamed to say it but I think my dad actually likes his "I believe I can fly song".....
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Old 07-21-2005, 06:05 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally posted by U2Man
Somebody post that video...now
damned I couldn't restrain myself and looked at the ending...this guy is a %^@#!^@ genius!!!!


if you buy the album you get 5 tracks of trapped in the closet and songs like:

Kickin' It With Your Girlfriend
Sex Weed
Sex In The Kitchen
Playa's Only


if there is a God he is know as the man they call R Kelly
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Old 07-21-2005, 06:09 AM   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by zwervers2


damned I couldn't restrain myself and looked at the ending...this guy is a %^@#!^@ genius!!!!


if you buy the album you get 5 tracks of trapped in the closet and songs like:

Kickin' It With Your Girlfriend
Sex Weed
Sex In The Kitchen
Playa's Only


if there is a God he is know as the man they call R Kelly
Sex Weed?
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Old 07-21-2005, 06:15 AM   #40
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Sex Weed?
that is his stash on the attic..it allows him hours of "love"making..
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Old 07-21-2005, 06:21 AM   #41
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that is his stash on the attic..it allows him hours of "love"making..
Much better than a ghost.....I suppose
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Old 07-21-2005, 06:28 AM   #42
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Much better than a ghost.....I suppose
you can say that again...
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Old 07-21-2005, 07:40 AM   #43
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Part 4

Now I'm dashin home
Doin 85
Swervin lane to lane
Wit fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts
Runnin through my mind
I'm thinkin about what imma do and who I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind
And then I look in my rear view
I cannot believe this
(Whoo whoo whoo)
Damn, here comes a police man
He drove right up on me and flashed his light
Then I pulled over without thinkin twice
He hopped out the car and walked over to me
And said license and registration please
I looked up at him and said
Officer, is there somethin wrong
He said no, except you were were doin 85 in a 60 mile zone
Then I said officer
Let me explain please
Ya see the truth of the matter is
Is that I have an emergency
He said no excuses
And no exception
I said this is some bull...as he gave me the ticket
Said have a nice day and walked away
I said yeah right and drove away
Then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go in through the back
Bust up in the house and she screamin
Whats all that for
Then I'm like woman I called this house
And a man picked up my phone
Then she said calm down
Did you forget
My brother Twan came home
Oh...
And thats all I could say was oh
Wit a stupid look on my face
Said I forgot he came home today
And she said thats okay
Because honey I understand
She said you dont have to explain
Then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some music on
Apologized one more time
Then went down and start gettin it on
And she started bitin her lip
Grabbing me and makin noise
Now we makin love and she's my ear whisperin
It's all yours
I said I love you
And she said I love ya, too
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said baby go deeper please
And thats when I start goin crazy
Like I was tryin to give her a baby
The room feel like its spinnin
We keep turnin and turnin
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin
The next thing ya know, she starts goin real wild
And starts screamin my name
Then I said baby, we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain
And she said please no dont stop
And I said I caught a cramp
And she said please keep on goin
I said my leg is about to crack
Then she cries out
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I said cool
Climax
Just let go of my leg
She says you're the perfect lover
I said I cant go no futher
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber...
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Old 07-21-2005, 07:45 AM   #44
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Part 5

And now I’m like
well, well, well, what the fuck is this
a condom in my bed
you better start talking bitch
fore I take a match and burn this motherfucker down
I said you better start talking and start talking right Goddamn now
then she said baby I’m so speechless
then I said my baby you gonna be breathless
if you don’t start talking quick
woman I’m gonna have a fit
you don’t know what you fucking with
girl you better cut the bull shit
now its obvious somebody has been all up in my home
in my bed plus I smell cigarettes
now I’m sniffing and looking around
suspicious like someone’s here
then I looked in her eyes and in her eyes there was so much fear
pull out my gun and says is he still here
she shook her head and said no
I’m checking behind every door
she cried out he left right after you called

I said what the fuck was you thinking
thought that I wouldn’t find this out
then I said you must be crazy or
on crack to have somebody up in my motherfucking house
she hopped up and said that’s enough
she said I can’t take no more
and then she said you’ve made your point
but now it’s time to even the score
she said I know all about last night
and where you went when you left the club
said that’s right nigger I was there
with this guy in the back of the club
I said I thought you was with your girls
she said I thought you was with you guys
she said you was at that bitches house
and don’t you even try to act surprised
I said babe she said shut up
don’t you say a word
it ain’t nothing you can say
that I ain’t already heard
then I said woman don’t you try to turn it all around
cause the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
then she said youre right about that
something did go down
but I don’t have to turn it around
cause what goes around comes back around
I’m moving a little closer to her
she’s tripping over the furniture
she said wait precious let me explain
I said no need to just give me his name
and then she says uh un
I say uh what
she says please sit down in the chair
and I say no I’m standing up
and then she cries out I’m so scare to tell
you because of what you might do
and I scream now look girl you better give me this man’s name
and I’m not playing with you
she says ok wipes her nose then asks me about a girl name tina
I thought to myself says it sounds familiar
then said that’ll I probably know her if I seen her
and then I said any way girl what the hell has that got to do
with this man
she said you know my girl roxanne
I said who the hell is roxanne
then she says roxanne’s a friend of mine
who knows this guy name Chuck
Chuck’s cool with this guy named Rufus
and I’m sitting there like what the fuck
then she says Rufus wife Cathy
we both went to high school
she introduced me to the policeman that stopped you


*** THE END ***
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Old 07-21-2005, 07:46 AM   #45
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Between R. Kelly and Snoop Dogg I do not know who to pick...

These guys are so creative.
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