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Old 09-08-2007, 01:08 AM   #301
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I like Return Of The Jedi
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:08 AM   #302
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Fucking Ewoks.

You get "It's a trap!" and "Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive" and "if you will not turn to the dark side the perhaps she will" mixed in with "yub-yub".

You little pricks.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:09 AM   #303
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I like Jedi but would rather have loved it, and it would not have taken much to make it a film I loved.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:10 AM   #304
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I tend to cut it a bit of slack, because it was the follow-up to The Empire Strikes Back.

Almost anything would be a step down after The Empire Strikes Back.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:12 AM   #305
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Quote:
Originally posted by No spoken words
Fucking Ewoks.

You get "It's a trap!" and "Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive" and "if you will not turn to the dark side the perhaps she will" mixed in with "yub-yub".

You little pricks.


My problem with Jedi is that it has this odd imbalance between awesome and camp. The Ewoks are a great idea, but horribly executed and are played for laughs and merch, that's it. I'm not even going to get into the pussyification of Han Solo.

Other than that, it's a great film, but those factors keep it a notch below Star Wars and Empire for me.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:13 AM   #306
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I'm on record on this site with saying that Empire is the best action film of all time. It's still awesome, after all these years. And, just watching 3-PO have nervous breakdown after breakdown all film long is a crack up...."BUT SIIIRRRRRR!!!"
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:15 AM   #307
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3-PO's the unspoken hero of Empire.

Another gripe about Jedi, what the fuck does Obi-Wan do? Just sit down on a log and tell Luke everything, and nothing else.

What happened to "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine?"

Pretty much nothing.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:18 AM   #308
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I want to make a documentary about Lazarus' hatred of Spielberg.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:20 AM   #309
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It'll air right after Spielberg on Spielberg, just offering rebuttals to everything Stevie said.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:22 AM   #310
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R2D2 is the greatest cinematic role with no dialog in a non-silent film barring Silent Bob ever.

I think there is a point at which you have attatched so many qualifications to a statement that the statement loses meaning.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:23 AM   #311
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I re-watched Quick Change the other day. It was not as funny as I remembered, but, it still had some scenes and moments that cracked me up. Few people I know have watched it.
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Old 09-08-2007, 01:39 AM   #312
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Well, I might have to call it a night folks, the night just went balls up.

Looks like I'll be playing nurse to my intoxicated roommate form here on out.
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Old 09-08-2007, 02:20 AM   #313
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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers

Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams, Jeff Goldblum, Veronica Cartwright, and Leonard Nimoy



Now, here's some freaky stuff ... with an unexpected ending.
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Old 09-08-2007, 02:54 AM   #314
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It'll air right after Spielberg on Spielberg, just offering rebuttals to everything Stevie said.
Anytime.

"Lazarus on Spielberg". Ratings bonanza.

Also, Return of the Jedi can suck it. I will defend to the death the superiority of The Phantom Menace to this awful Muppet-Fest.

Example #1: Mark Hamill's haircut. Just...no.

Example #2: Harrison Ford. 20 pounds overweight, sleepwalks through role. What happened to the cool, rascally badass? He ain't in this film. His performance in the Jabba's palace scenes are unforgivably bad, and his Endor material is only a step above embarassing. The high school level love spat with Leia near the end of the film? Worse than any Anakin/Padme scene in the prequel trilogy.

Example #3: Carrie Fisher. Hopped up on prescription medication and almost delirious. See above. Jabba's Palace line: "Someone who LOVES you." Oh my god terrible.

Example #4: Max Rebo's band. Okay. If you can show me something in The Phantom Menace worse than the musical number in Jedi, you win a prize. Nope, there isn't one. As bad as Jar Jar Binks was, at least he wasn't a BLUE FUCKING ELEPHANT. Who the hell designed that unique, outlandish alien? A third grader?

Example #5: Salacious Crumb. Do I even need to explain this? Again, the little muppet laughter was more grating than any single moment from Jar Jar. Sure, he wasn't in the entire film, but bad enough to tarnish the entire thing.

Example #6: Boba Fett's death. First you have the supremely awkward physical comedy of Han Solo stumbling around the skiff barge, until he "accidentally" sets off Boba's jetpack, sending the bounty hunter to his doom in the Sarlacc pit, which burps after swallowing him. Right. And people were complaining about poop jokes in Episode 1?

Example #7: The Death Star. Yeah, we saw that in A New Hope. It was a pretty cool idea in that film. Second time around? A bit redundant. Did all the creative ideas get used up in Empire? Fucking lame. Compare the moment this one gets blown up to the same scene in A New Hope. Pretty fucking anticlimactic.

Example #8: Yoda and Obi-Wan. Yoda pretty much gives Luke the opposite advice he gave in Empire. Then it was "don't face Vader, stay here and complete your training". Now it's "you must defeat Vader to truly become a Jedi". Huh? Obi-Wan, as mentioned above, SITS ON A FUCKING LOG to blurt out a bunch of exposition to Luke. Needless to say, it's not a high point. Spielberg loved this so much he used it in A.I. when the robot voiced by Ben Kingley explains the fucking movie to Haley Joel Osment. It didn't work there either.

Example #9: Ewoks. What can I say here? Again, as mentioned above, not a bad idea in theory. But considering this was originally supposed to be an Wookie planet, it could have been so much better.

Example #10: Inept Stormtroopers. Okay, they weren't exactly great shots in the last two films either, but you got the sense they were hot on the trail, always right behind our heroes. In this film, they're like silent movie boobs, tripping, getting knocked out by sticks and stones. This is how the Empire maintained their stranglehold on the galaxy? Who WERE they able to defeat?

Do I need to go on? Yeah there's a lot of cool moments with the Emperor and Vader. That takes up about 1/10 of this film. With The Phantom Menace, even if you took out all the Jar Jar material and a few bad scenes with li'l Anakin, you've still got a shitload of cool scenes spread throughout the ENTIRE film. ROTJ, on the other hand, really only comes alive in the final Death Star scenes and the space battle. That just ain't enough.
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Old 09-08-2007, 10:54 AM   #315
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You can argue that Episodes III, IV, and V make the best trilogy, or set of 3 movies. The last hour of III is nearly perfect.

I've read various interviews with Star Wars producer Gary Kurtz talking about the Jedi that could've been:

1. Last battle on Coruscant
2. 2 Death Stars (now that would've been cool)
3. Obi-Wan would've come back from the Netherworld of the Force to help Luke fight the Emperor. I'm not too sold on this idea, but at least Obi-Wan does something.
4. Luke and Leia weren't brother and sister, the Sequel Trilogy (VII, VIII, and IX) would've been Luke searching for said sister.
5. Han, Lando, Leia, Chewie, 3PO, R2 basically start a rebellion on Coruscant instead of the fucking Ewoks.

Still, it's all about Lucas' vision, but when it involves fucking Jar Jar Binks and half-witted Wookie midgets running around killing stormtroopers with twigs to the head... there's something wrong there.
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