i'm going to be a father

[Zoomerang96]

if it's going to be a girl, i'm going to name her ekaterina.

i decided on the weekend this is the greatest name in the history of the universe. and my future daughter deserves nothing but the absolute best.

from the moment she's born into this world, she'll be showered with gifts fit for an empress.

the crown of jewels she'll have over her little head will be laced with the finest rocks you've ever seen since jenny came back from the block.

and when she turns five, she'll go to school. i'll bring her there myself, every day.

and when she's 13 she'll learn what it's like to be cool.

she'll think she's too good to talk to me until she's done school.

then it'll be time to really open the wallet to pay for her schooling. not that i mind though, not for ekaterina.

then the time will come to take her to russia where she'll marry into the romanov family. i'll live my dream through her.

oh how i wish i was alexandra! how i long to look forever into the deep blue eyes of MY prince charming, Nicholas!!!

i wanted to give birth to alexei!!!! I WANTED TO GIVE BIRTH!!!!!!!!!

I WAS ALEXEI, NOW I WANT TO BE ALEXANDRA!!!!!!! I WANT "OUR FRIEND" TO HEAL US OF ALL OUR DISEASES!!!!! LONG LIVE THE KING!!!!!!!! LOVE LIVE HIS HEIR!!!!! LONG LIVE THEIR WIFEY!!!!!!!!!!! IT'LL NEVER BE 1917 AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND NOW I'M GOING TO FATHER EKATERINA!!!!!! I'M GOING TO FATHER HER FOREVER!!!!!!!! AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE IS NO END!!!! THE END HAS NO END!!!!!!!!! THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE REPEATED!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU SHUTTING UP!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

 

[Doozer61]

tell me another story, daddy

 

[MrBrau1]

She'll hate you at 13 and think Radiohead are geezers.

 

[Zoomerang96]

the turning point in my life came in 1917.

the second turning point in my life came in 1998.

both were horribly, wretched years, yet beautiful in their misery.

how am i to go on, doozer? i want to be a woman!

i'm a 44 year old woman trapped in a man's body!!!!!!!!!!

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicholas

can you hear me when i

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing?!?!?!?!?!?

you're the reasssson why the opera's in me!!! you're the reason!!!!!

and the reaaaason is you!!!!! the reason!!!!!! the reason is YOU!!!!!

 

[beatlesboy]

 

[Alan Jamison]

 

[Zoomerang96]

your smilies are a complete disgrace.

I FEEL LIKE TEARING DOWN THESE WALLS, AND EXPLODE INTO SPACE TO MEET MY DESTINY - THE PURE DYNASTY OF THE HOUSE OF ROMANOV!!!!!!!

KISS ME LIKE YOU MEET IT, NICKY!!!!!!!!!!! KISS MY FACE WET!!!!!!!

 

[Doozer61]

i want it known right now, for all the world to see


I feel your pain!


Let it out, man, let it out, woman


whoever you are right now at this moment

 

[Alan Jamison]

your smilies are a complete disgrace.

I FEEL LIKE TEARING DOWN THESE WALLS, AND EXPLODE INTO SPACE TO MEET MY DESTINY - THE PURE DYNASTY OF THE HOUSE OF ROMANOV!!!!!!!

KISS ME LIKE YOU MEET IT, NICKY!!!!!!!!!!! KISS MY FACE WET!!!!!!!

Caisenma, you're the reason the opera's not in me.

Just you.

 

[Zoomerang96]

i...am...ALIVE!

 

[Reggie Thee Dog]

What is going on here???

 

[lmjhitman]

i wanted to give birth to alexei!!!! I WANTED TO GIVE BIRTH!!!!!!!!!

I WAS ALEXEI, NOW I WANT TO BE ALEXANDRA!!!!!!! I WANT "OUR FRIEND" TO HEAL US OF ALL OUR DISEASES!!!!! LONG LIVE THE KING!!!!!!!! LOVE LIVE HIS HEIR!!!!! LONG LIVE THEIR WIFEY!!!!!!!!!!! IT'LL NEVER BE 1917 AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND NOW I'M GOING TO FATHER EKATERINA!!!!!! I'M GOING TO FATHER HER FOREVER!!!!!!!! AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE IS NO END!!!! THE END HAS NO END!!!!!!!!! THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE REPEATED!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU SHUTTING UP!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

and the yelling has begun...

how long will it last, pray tell?

 

[IWasBored]

someone create a rasputin alter, this might actually get interesting.

 

[Doozer61]

there is no stopping him, his heart is set on this



give him some room, people

 

[lmjhitman]

I FEEL LIKE TEARING DOWN THESE WALLS, AND EXPLODE INTO SPACE TO MEET MY DESTINY !!!!!!

i think you're right doozer


exploding deathbears!

 

[Zoomerang96]

yes, exploding deathbears indeed.

i'm no longer "deathbear"

i'm alexandra. until i'm finally nicholas himself, but first i must get inside him through alex before i can do that.

there's nothing that'll stop me. i've already turned back the hands of time.

 

[lmjhitman]

well, keep us updated deathbear/alexandra/nicholas/caseyenema et al.

 

[Zoomerang96]

it's caisenma, but hey, who's keeping score?

 

[Doozer61]

are you back or are you her?


i will respect you either way

 

[lmjhitman]

oops, sorry KCenema

~KCaccidental

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

We all know that this thread is a lie because no girl would ever have sex with you

 

[boystupidboy]

weirdo

 

[carrieluvv]

* runs in wearing a sassy khaki jumpsuit with a big tranquilizer gun*
"QUICK GET THE GLEEMONEX DART.........."

- not too much of the happy drug........we dont want him to go into a coma....we just want him to a bit less dillusional.......
yes......

**sweat pours down forehead as I take careful aim at Zoomerag's buttocks**

oh whats the world coming to?

 

[Laura M]

OMG1!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats,, im soooooo "happy" for u!!!!!!


:Hyper:

 

[ZeroDude]

This is our winter of discontent yet it be March beyond the icy grasp of the palace and their heirs apparent who will not yield

THE CHILD MUST BE DESTROYED LOST FOREVER IN THE HEARTS OF UNWORTHY MEN, EN GARDE YOU CANTANKEROUS BUGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

case enema, did you have a bad acid trip or something?

 

[Evalicious]

I WANTED TO GIVE BIRTH!!!!!!!!!

I WAS ALEXEI, NOW I WANT TO BE ALEXANDRA!!!!!!! I WANT "OUR FRIEND" TO HEAL US OF ALL OUR DISEASES!!!!! LONG LIVE THE KING!!!!!!!! LOVE LIVE HIS HEIR!!!!! LONG LIVE THEIR WIFEY!!!!!!!!!!! IT'LL NEVER BE 1917 AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND NOW I'M GOING TO FATHER EKATERINA!!!!!! I'M GOING TO FATHER HER FOREVER!!!!!!!! AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE IS NO END!!!! THE END HAS NO END!!!!!!!!! THE PROPHECY WILL NOT BE REPEATED!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!! WHY AREN'T YOU SHUTTING UP!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Umm, äähhh
i dont know, you seem a bit stressed or so

 

[ZeroDude]

BLASPHEMY

 

[JessicaAnn]

Pre-Packaged Romanov Bear

 

[Se7en]

looks like trouble is on the horizon.