I Hate Basements!!!!!!

[Angel]

*The events depicted in the following poem, were based on a true story....

I hate basements
Yes I do
And that's the title
of my song to you.

I venture down there
only when necesary.
It's dark and creepy
and VERY scary...

Doing laundry
I have no choice.
Ironing clothes
I hear a voice!

Alone I am...
what to do?
Music! music!
*puts on U2...

Achtung baby
through my veins.
All is calm
*Cleans her hanes.

NO!!! spiders spiders
In her hair!!
spiders spiders
Everywhere!!!

Hanging from the ceiling,
crawling on my arm,
tons of baby spiders...
it's a baby spider farm!!

How many times
can I turn around to see?
That there is nothing there
lurking behind me...

"Don't turn around,
Don't turn around again..."
Shut up Bono!!
Bloody stupid men!

A beatle rushes by
but with SHOUT I shoot it dead!
It riggles, and squirms,
then runs away instead!!

That's it! No more!!
With this basement i am done.
Screw the clothes,
this just isn't any fun.

"Desperation is a tender trap,
it gets you everytime..."
That's right buddy,
and this desperations mine!!

So upstairs I ran,
scratching everywhere.
The spiderwebs, and beetle bugs,
gave me a good scare.

 

[Bonochick]

I like my basement; it's where I keep my Barbie collection.

 

[u2er]

bwaaahahaha.
when i first read the thread title i thought it said "i hate basstraps"

 

[Stories for Boys]

i make my mommy kill them for me

i hate bugs......i scream everytime i see one.......ewww

 

[pub crawler]

"Basements are wonderful chiefly because they are so amazingly, so spaciously, unnecessary.

Now basements I know because I grew up with one. Every American basement is the same. They all have a clothesline that is rarely used, a trickle of water from an indeterminable source running diagonally across the floor, and a funny smell--a combination of old magazines, camping gear that should have been aired and wasn't, and something to do with a guinea pig named Mr. Fluffy that escaped down a central heating gate six months ago and has not been seen since (and presumably would now be better called Mr. Bones).

Basements are so monumentally surplus to normal requirements, in fact, that you seldom go down there, so it generally comes as something of a pleasant surprise to remember that you have one. Every dad who ever goes down in a basement pauses at some point to look around and think: "Gee, we really ought to do something with all this space. We could have a wet bar and a pool table and maybe a jukebox and a Jacuzzi and a couple of pinball machines..." But of course it's just one of those things that you intend to do one day, like learn Spanish or take up home barbering, but never do.

Oh, occasionally, especially in starter homes, you will find that some young gung-ho mom and dad have converted the basement into a playroom for the children, but this is always a mistake as no child will play in a basement. This is because no matter how loving the parents, no matter how much the child would like, deep down, to trust them, there is always the thought that they will quietly lock the door at the top of the stairs and move to Florida. No, basements are deeply and inescapably scary--that's why they always feature in spooky movies, usually with a shadow of Joan Crawford carrying an axe thrown on the far wall. That may be why even dads don't go down there very often."

-Bill Bryson in I'm a Stranger Here Myself

 

[Angel]

Oh my pub crawler, that was funny! Unfortunately... this basement is a fully developed extension of the home, but it still freaks the living bejesus outta me. What does bejesus mean anyway? Am I gonna get scorned by the religious? It's just one of those sayings you grew up saying but didn't really know whant meant. Then one day you write it down and you see the word jesus....

Anyway... this isn't even my home. I have been house-sitting for three weeks now and am slowly going insane. I hear noises everywhere all the time. There are ghosts in the basement setting off alarms. It's true... that, or the friggin spiders. I just want to go home......

 

[martha]

Angel, that poem was brilliant!

I spent a lot of time in my basement in Omaha, waiting for the tornadoes to tear off the part of the house that was above ground. They never did, but after sitting down there all night for two different nights in one year, my mom announced that she was moving to California, and who else was coming with her? We had windows in the basement at the very top, so you could see out onto the ground. I was always convinced that when the tornado went by, I'd be able to see the tiny end of it on the ground. That scared the hell out of me; I didn't want to see the part of the tornado that was touching the ground! It wasn't too spooky if it was daylight and the weather was good.

 

[Zooman91]

Well, my basement is finished, so it's alright. It's so good, it has a seldom-used ping-pong table.

 

[pub crawler]

What does bejesus mean anyway? Am I gonna get scorned by the religious? It's just one of those sayings you grew up saying but didn't really know whant meant. Then one day you write it down and you see the word jesus....

LMFAO!

 

[ZooEuropa]

I dont have a basement lol i wonder why

 

[dizzy]

 

[Basstrap]

When I was young me and my bro would play hockey down in the basement...once we had a friend over and he was the goalie and we hit him in the face with the hockey ball by mistake and he bled...not to death...but he did bleed.

ONLY IN CANADA!
hockey in the basement

 

[Angel]

ONLY IN CANADA!
hockey in the basement

But did you wear roller-skates while playing??? haha We did.

 

[Basstrap]

no roller blades!!! we would have killed ourselves...
but we did freeze our back yard and play ice hockey in the winter

 

[Angel]

I grew up in the 80's

... roller blades weren't invented yet.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

When I was little my mom would sometimes stand at the top of the stairs and turn the light off when I was down there getting something.

Maybe she thought it was a good way to make me not afraid, but, sorry mom, it did the exact opposite. I still get creeped out if I'm in a basement and the lights are low.

 

[ZooEuropa]

It would depend if the basements been made up into a room or not for me....... my friend has a cool basement! I like it down there because you dont get bothered and its been made into a TV room!

 

[Salome]

hmmm, haven't been in the basement since the last time I had to hide something from the police

 

[Giant Lemon]

I'm not afraid of my basement, but I once had a friend who was. Whenever she'd come over she'd refuse to go down there!