How reliable is self evaluation? "what would you change about you" thread related

[elizabeth]

i know myself better than other people do. i know a lot of things about myself i've never told anyone.


like yesterday, i spoke french to a statue of Albert Galliten. I don't know much french, but i said what i could.

 

[Angela Harlem]

I think people will always be a little bit harder on themselves than necessary. As well, I think people may think that a certain aspect of themselves is quite fine, whereas someone lookng in from the outside may not agree.

In general people need to know how to offer constructive suggestion. We all know that a comment made without care can do serious damage to a self esteem. It has to be a combination of what an outsider thinks, and the ability to see yourself for who you are. Like Elizabeth said, we know ourselves better than most, but whats the point of knowing that you really are a great person if no one else can see that? I think there's also a big difference between what we perceive as change worthy and what might actually need it.

A kind hearted generous person will always say, I need to be more compassionate and giving of myself. And they only say that because they ARE kind and compassionate etc.

 

[U2girl]

I mean, i'm sure everyone is way harder on themselves than they should be.

Also, isn't the best way to get a person's character by either knowing him in real life or asking his family/friends?

Not to mention it's always kind of weird
(to me, at least) to describe/evaluate yourself, because it's definitely not objective.

I dunno...what do you think?



[This message has been edited by U2girl (edited 01-30-2002).]

 

[bono-vox]

I think self evaluation is good, its always useful to be critical of yourself because if you dont find any faults with yourself i think you'd be a very bigheaded (could nay think of a better word) person.

 

[doctorwho]

I disagree with the notion of people evaluating themselves harsher than that of their peers.

This past summer, I had a woman work for me who was just terrible. She was highly insubordinate, had a horrible attitude, almost always didn't even work a full day, started producing very questionable results, was incompetent at even the simplest of tasks and she even cried when she became frustrated.

I asked this woman to write a self-evaluation. She basically blamed everyone else for any problems she had, felt she had done an outstanding job and the only self-critique she gave is that she should take more initiative.

In other words, the people that need self-evaluations the most are the ones that are incapable of seeing areas that might need some improvement in their lives (this woman even blamed the fact that she was overweight on a thyroid problem, even though her doctors said she does not have a thyroid problem).

 

[U2girl]

Hmmm...but where do you draw the line between caring too little or caring too much what others say about you?

How important should the opinions of others be?

I think all people have good and bad qualities. Maybe instead of constantly trying to deny the bad ones, it's better to accept them? (old habits die hard)

Doesn't it all come down to balancing the good and the bad qualities into a solid, satisfaying whole that is as a personality?

After all, the person who is most relevant when it comes to one's opinion about himself/herself is he/she in question, right?
Shouldn't everyone start by accepting themselves, and then go on to deal with being accepted by others.


[This message has been edited by U2girl (edited 01-31-2002).]